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My "loving" bro...(vent)
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 176786" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Wow, what a mess!</p><p></p><p>A family member has had similar problems - the girl's mother has sued for custody for every baby her daughter has had, even though the grandmother was an unfit mother herself and her daughter is married with a good family income and a lovely home, no indication of daughter being an unfit mother at all. But to sue for custody each time - it's vexatious.</p><p></p><p>The motivation - with the grandmother I mention as well as your brother - it's jealousy. "I want that baby, I deserve it more. And because I want it, that should be sufficient. I am important enough to be listened to on this and on any other matter."</p><p></p><p>Your brother wants to be a father more than anything else. But his partner is too jealous to share him with a co-parent. So for bro, it has to be full custody or nothing. And his only chance - you and your child. Bro isn't "permitted" to go and get another woman pregnant, even by artifical insemination. But to get custody of a relative, now THAT should be acceptable to SO.</p><p></p><p>Only neither of them has a clue what's involved.</p><p></p><p>For bro, it's not love of difficult child specifically, it's love of what difficult child represents - a chance at fatherhood. And fatherhood of a son, for someone like bro, is the ultimate in narcissism.</p><p></p><p>I remember reading an article decades ago which said that for some homosexuals, their relationships with men are due to an innate narcissism; their love for their same-gender partner was a reflection of their self-love. And without bagging homosexuals in general (because I'm not) - I HAVE met a couple of unstable people for whom I think this could well be the case. Unlike that article, I don't think it is so for most homosexuals, but for those members of the community (independent of their sexuality) who are extremely narcissistic, I think it's possible that in a few cases even their sexual orientation could be connected with this extreme self-obsession.</p><p></p><p>Everything else your brother has said seems to fit these extreme self-absorption; the belief that your father would have taken his mother back, for example. It's all wild fantasy, but in his mind, it is real.</p><p></p><p>Keep all records. Keep all letters. Take notes of all phone calls and keep a diary. You might need it. This guy is out of touch with reality and won't back off too readily.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 176786, member: 1991"] Wow, what a mess! A family member has had similar problems - the girl's mother has sued for custody for every baby her daughter has had, even though the grandmother was an unfit mother herself and her daughter is married with a good family income and a lovely home, no indication of daughter being an unfit mother at all. But to sue for custody each time - it's vexatious. The motivation - with the grandmother I mention as well as your brother - it's jealousy. "I want that baby, I deserve it more. And because I want it, that should be sufficient. I am important enough to be listened to on this and on any other matter." Your brother wants to be a father more than anything else. But his partner is too jealous to share him with a co-parent. So for bro, it has to be full custody or nothing. And his only chance - you and your child. Bro isn't "permitted" to go and get another woman pregnant, even by artifical insemination. But to get custody of a relative, now THAT should be acceptable to SO. Only neither of them has a clue what's involved. For bro, it's not love of difficult child specifically, it's love of what difficult child represents - a chance at fatherhood. And fatherhood of a son, for someone like bro, is the ultimate in narcissism. I remember reading an article decades ago which said that for some homosexuals, their relationships with men are due to an innate narcissism; their love for their same-gender partner was a reflection of their self-love. And without bagging homosexuals in general (because I'm not) - I HAVE met a couple of unstable people for whom I think this could well be the case. Unlike that article, I don't think it is so for most homosexuals, but for those members of the community (independent of their sexuality) who are extremely narcissistic, I think it's possible that in a few cases even their sexual orientation could be connected with this extreme self-obsession. Everything else your brother has said seems to fit these extreme self-absorption; the belief that your father would have taken his mother back, for example. It's all wild fantasy, but in his mind, it is real. Keep all records. Keep all letters. Take notes of all phone calls and keep a diary. You might need it. This guy is out of touch with reality and won't back off too readily. Marg [/QUOTE]
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