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My "loving" bro...(vent)
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 177521" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I totally get you, that this has nothing to do with the sexuality issue. This is purely about bro's obvious unfitness to parent as indicated by his being so out of touch with reality, what is appropriate, poaching on your turf, etc.</p><p></p><p>I had to chuckle at difficult child's reaction, though. My eldest nephew was like this with homosexuality, I remember talking to him about it in his mid-teens. And even difficult child 1, who was brought up to be tolerant, find the topic a bit "icky". I think it's a basic innate male thing. At some gut level, blokes find the whole thought of male-male sex too awful to contemplate, unless they're bent in that direction anyway. It's funny how women don't seem to have quite the same issues with female-female. I mean, I can sit and chat with a pair of lesbians without constantly worrying, "Are they going to have a go at me?" (somewhat vain, to think that anyway. They generally only have eyes for each other, and they know I'm not available).</p><p></p><p>Your bro has put you through the wringer. I'm glad the authorities seem to be on to him. And with difficult child so vehement, I think even if you had to place him in foster care or you got hit by a bus and had no choice in the matter about where difficult child would go, difficult child would be allowed to veto any request by bro, to go live with him.</p><p></p><p>Watch out if you have any more kids, or when difficult child becomes a father. Bro will want the baby then, too. I'd make sure difficult child is aware of this risk so he is EXTRA careful when he starts having sex (scary thought).</p><p></p><p>Bro is one sick puppy alright.</p><p></p><p>The constant cards and letters - he's using salami tactics - wearing your resistance down slice by slice. At what point do you say, "Enough!"? Because if you do it too soon, he complains that he's just sending a friendly birthday card. And if you wait too long, he complains that you didn't stop him before, so he thought it was OK with you?</p><p></p><p>Salami tactics are a common trick when you want something and are determined to get it.</p><p></p><p>Example: we had a dog who was not permitted to come into the house. She was only permitted as far as the verandah. So she would sit below the step into the house, her chin resting on the step. Then one paw would slip up beside the chin. Then after a short while, another paw. Then she would wriggle her body forward. Then a bit more. Then a back paw could slip up onto the step beside the rest of her. One more paw, and she's fully on the back step. Then it's just a matter of creeping forward.</p><p></p><p>The rule had to be - no chin, no paws on the step.</p><p></p><p>For more on salami tactics, look for the "Yes, Prime Minister" diaries by Jonathan Lynn and Antony Jay. It was a hilarious TV series, too. The episode you want is called, "The Grand Design".</p><p></p><p>By reading up on political satire, I've learned a lot about human nature.</p><p></p><p>Scary, though.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 177521, member: 1991"] I totally get you, that this has nothing to do with the sexuality issue. This is purely about bro's obvious unfitness to parent as indicated by his being so out of touch with reality, what is appropriate, poaching on your turf, etc. I had to chuckle at difficult child's reaction, though. My eldest nephew was like this with homosexuality, I remember talking to him about it in his mid-teens. And even difficult child 1, who was brought up to be tolerant, find the topic a bit "icky". I think it's a basic innate male thing. At some gut level, blokes find the whole thought of male-male sex too awful to contemplate, unless they're bent in that direction anyway. It's funny how women don't seem to have quite the same issues with female-female. I mean, I can sit and chat with a pair of lesbians without constantly worrying, "Are they going to have a go at me?" (somewhat vain, to think that anyway. They generally only have eyes for each other, and they know I'm not available). Your bro has put you through the wringer. I'm glad the authorities seem to be on to him. And with difficult child so vehement, I think even if you had to place him in foster care or you got hit by a bus and had no choice in the matter about where difficult child would go, difficult child would be allowed to veto any request by bro, to go live with him. Watch out if you have any more kids, or when difficult child becomes a father. Bro will want the baby then, too. I'd make sure difficult child is aware of this risk so he is EXTRA careful when he starts having sex (scary thought). Bro is one sick puppy alright. The constant cards and letters - he's using salami tactics - wearing your resistance down slice by slice. At what point do you say, "Enough!"? Because if you do it too soon, he complains that he's just sending a friendly birthday card. And if you wait too long, he complains that you didn't stop him before, so he thought it was OK with you? Salami tactics are a common trick when you want something and are determined to get it. Example: we had a dog who was not permitted to come into the house. She was only permitted as far as the verandah. So she would sit below the step into the house, her chin resting on the step. Then one paw would slip up beside the chin. Then after a short while, another paw. Then she would wriggle her body forward. Then a bit more. Then a back paw could slip up onto the step beside the rest of her. One more paw, and she's fully on the back step. Then it's just a matter of creeping forward. The rule had to be - no chin, no paws on the step. For more on salami tactics, look for the "Yes, Prime Minister" diaries by Jonathan Lynn and Antony Jay. It was a hilarious TV series, too. The episode you want is called, "The Grand Design". By reading up on political satire, I've learned a lot about human nature. Scary, though. Marg [/QUOTE]
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