So last night everything hit. Everything that I have been going through with husband just came crashing down on me. I called my therapist in the middle of the day, talked a bit with her. It all started with husband went to his appointment with substance abuse treatment center. They told him they could not accept him as a pt unless he went off all medications. WTH! He is severley bipolar, has severe pain, and he will be homeless if he goes off all medications. They told him he would have to stop his suboxone as it is opiate based (which it is) and his Lyrica (cannot even move without it, the pain is so bad) and, get this, his Lithium! I told him F... NO! Do not sign anything, do not pass go, get out of there. They tried to tell him I would leave him if he did not sign up as they had a report from the psychiatric hospital. Oh no, if you stop your medications I WILL leave you, but get away from there now. So he called and has an appointment with a therapist on Thursday, there is a support group that starts in Oct he is going to join, and he is waiting for a call back from a therapist who deals with chronic pain pts. He made all these calls himself, I had nothing to do with it. He found the resources, the numbers and he called. I am amazed. The kicker? He now wants to fire his psychiatrist. There are very few good psychiatrists in this town, and his psychiatrist is very knowledgable about medications and knows husband like the back of his hand. I am really hoping that husband will calm down and realize how much this guy has done for him. Apparently in psychiatric hospital psychiatrist convinced (husband said forced) him to sign a release of information so psychiatrist can talk to pain doctor. I spoke with psychiatrist (big mistake) yesterday and asked him about it. He said he did not think he had forced husband to sign paper, and that he had not and had no intentions of telling pain doctor, what husband told pain doctor was up to husband. He does not want pain doctor to fire husband. It told this to husband and he got mad at me for calling psychiatrist. The day before we were unsure if psychiatrist's office was open (they were not) and I asked husband if I could call and check on type of Lithium to be given (in psychiatric hospital it was regular release, at home extended release, husband does best with twice daily medications not three times daily), about suboxone dose and about interaction with suboxone and dalmane. Now he is upset that I called, but he told me I could. psychiatrist genuinely cares about husband, the first words out of his mouth were "how is husband?" I think that between him wanting to fire psychiatrist, and doing such a dramatic turn around it sent me for a loop. And.....apparently he and pain doctor are talking about putting a pain pump in. Which is fine and dandy, but then he can go back to abusing pills. And, according to husband (whgich I know I should not take his word as gospel) he wanted to put husband back on pills!!!!! Oh no, I don't think so. I am confused, happy sad a total mess. My eyes are swollen from crying, I have to to work and then leave for a pulmonology appointment with husband and then I have an appointment with difficult child's therapist to let her know what is going on so if difficult child does not understand it she can help him to. I am still shaking. I did sleep somehow last night. I just wish I could deal with this better, I hate this.