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my mind in disarray
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<blockquote data-quote="nvts" data-source="post: 172366" data-attributes="member: 3814"><p>Steely, please understand that I don't know what I would be doing in your position. But I'd like to put a few things out there that may help you see a few different points.</p><p> </p><p>First: when it comes to H. and the tragic end of her life. She was suffering from some form of depression. I'm convinced of that. Depression is a vacuum that just ***** the life out of you and your impression of your surroundings. Truthfully, if it was suicide, 9 out of 10 attempts are a "cry out" for help and not intended to be an end. But the problem is: depression is still poorly handled, poorly diagnosed, poorly treated and rarely cleared up until the person has come to the conclusion that they need help OR if there is a suicide attempt.</p><p> </p><p>It's always considered "an embarassing mental illness". Look at how most mental illness is viewed by the general public. Depression is just another thing that most are told to "get over". So people often don't seek or find the treatment that they need.</p><p> </p><p>THERE IS NO WAY THAT YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO CHANGE THIS! </p><p> </p><p>Now, on to Mom and Dad. </p><p> </p><p>Don't be overly upset about the here are the keys, the combos, the lawyers number, our wishes, your wishes, the dogs wishes and make sure someone waters the plants.</p><p> </p><p>I still have a copy of the will that my Mother In Law put together after she and my ex-Father in Law divorced. Every time she goes out west to visit family, I have to show it to her, she gives me a new key to her house, a list of phone numbers of who to contact (including work numbers to "call her in dead" - she's got the best sense of humor!) in case something goes wrong.</p><p> </p><p>But besides the "PeeWee's Great Adventure" that they're going on, they're dealing with two of the biggest issues that a family can undergo. The pending death of one of their best friends (Dad), and the death of a child. No matter how old you and H got, you're still about 6 years old and letting go is damn near impossible. I get the impression that Mom and Dad are the logical, polite, be kind to others types that break down when there's no one there to see. Hence the reason for letting H's girlfriend keep everything.</p><p> </p><p>If you know that there's something that H would have wanted you or difficult child to have of hers for a legacy, call the girlfriend. Whether or not you like her, whether or not it feels right to acknowledge her, you likely won't have the opportunity to contact her for much longer. She'll move on (which is what we're supposed to do in this life) and you may lose contact. Speak up and tell her what you want. This way after the anger fades, you'll have that special something that you want to remember her by.</p><p> </p><p>I wish I could show up there with a few movies, big thick chocolate shakes, stuffed mushrooms (I swear, this is the first time I've had these weirdo cravings) and bunny slippers and just kick it for a while - and I swear - difficult child would hop a plane and stay with husband and my difficult child's. If THAT didn't straighten him out nothing would!</p><p> </p><p>Since I don't have that option, keep up the counseling, be involved when the group starts, work through your anger, and know that all of us have you in our prayers and are thinking good thoughts for you!</p><p> </p><p>Love ya kiddo!</p><p> </p><p>Beth</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nvts, post: 172366, member: 3814"] Steely, please understand that I don't know what I would be doing in your position. But I'd like to put a few things out there that may help you see a few different points. First: when it comes to H. and the tragic end of her life. She was suffering from some form of depression. I'm convinced of that. Depression is a vacuum that just ***** the life out of you and your impression of your surroundings. Truthfully, if it was suicide, 9 out of 10 attempts are a "cry out" for help and not intended to be an end. But the problem is: depression is still poorly handled, poorly diagnosed, poorly treated and rarely cleared up until the person has come to the conclusion that they need help OR if there is a suicide attempt. It's always considered "an embarassing mental illness". Look at how most mental illness is viewed by the general public. Depression is just another thing that most are told to "get over". So people often don't seek or find the treatment that they need. THERE IS NO WAY THAT YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO CHANGE THIS! Now, on to Mom and Dad. Don't be overly upset about the here are the keys, the combos, the lawyers number, our wishes, your wishes, the dogs wishes and make sure someone waters the plants. I still have a copy of the will that my Mother In Law put together after she and my ex-Father in Law divorced. Every time she goes out west to visit family, I have to show it to her, she gives me a new key to her house, a list of phone numbers of who to contact (including work numbers to "call her in dead" - she's got the best sense of humor!) in case something goes wrong. But besides the "PeeWee's Great Adventure" that they're going on, they're dealing with two of the biggest issues that a family can undergo. The pending death of one of their best friends (Dad), and the death of a child. No matter how old you and H got, you're still about 6 years old and letting go is damn near impossible. I get the impression that Mom and Dad are the logical, polite, be kind to others types that break down when there's no one there to see. Hence the reason for letting H's girlfriend keep everything. If you know that there's something that H would have wanted you or difficult child to have of hers for a legacy, call the girlfriend. Whether or not you like her, whether or not it feels right to acknowledge her, you likely won't have the opportunity to contact her for much longer. She'll move on (which is what we're supposed to do in this life) and you may lose contact. Speak up and tell her what you want. This way after the anger fades, you'll have that special something that you want to remember her by. I wish I could show up there with a few movies, big thick chocolate shakes, stuffed mushrooms (I swear, this is the first time I've had these weirdo cravings) and bunny slippers and just kick it for a while - and I swear - difficult child would hop a plane and stay with husband and my difficult child's. If THAT didn't straighten him out nothing would! Since I don't have that option, keep up the counseling, be involved when the group starts, work through your anger, and know that all of us have you in our prayers and are thinking good thoughts for you! Love ya kiddo! Beth [/QUOTE]
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