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My mom is laying a guilt trip
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 96460" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>I get it from both ends -- my mother who feels I betrayed her and everything she believes in by keeping my daughter who was obviously a "bad seed" and my daughter who doesn't understand why she doesn't have a father OR a grandmother when both are living and were there when she was adopted.</p><p></p><p>Since we've moved to Florida, I've been told repeatedly what a rotten daughter I am for moving so far away from her and what is she going to do when she gets sick and needs me? Of course, five seconds after this tirade, she will ask if I'm coming home for the holidays. I just say no, but I'll happily fly her out here. Nope, not good enough. This may be her last Christmas on earth (possibly true since she has a bad heart but odds are she'll outlive me) and flying will just tire her out (the doctor says she can fly, I've asked), so I should come there -- at least for Christmas. So, the guilt cards have been: putting my child above her; moving; her bad health; my selfishness; my uncaring attitude (that one she is 100% correct about); my greed.</p><p></p><p>I don't tell my daughter about these conversations but, of course, she hears enough to piece most of it together. So, she's mad at me that we're not going to grandma's for Christmas and what if this really is her last? The problem is the invite is for me, not for the both of us. When we lived close by, my mother knew that there was no way my child would be excluded and even one word spoken about my mother's true feelings and we were out the door. I will give my mother credit -- to this day my daughter has no clue how badly her grandmother wants her gone.</p><p></p><p>Even if the invite was for the both of us, I don't want to go. My mother is too draining. She <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> the life right out of me. There's no joy around her. So, I will feel slightly guilty because I feel such resentment towards my mother and then I'll sigh and get on with our holidays and enjoy them and the peace there is without her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 96460, member: 3626"] I get it from both ends -- my mother who feels I betrayed her and everything she believes in by keeping my daughter who was obviously a "bad seed" and my daughter who doesn't understand why she doesn't have a father OR a grandmother when both are living and were there when she was adopted. Since we've moved to Florida, I've been told repeatedly what a rotten daughter I am for moving so far away from her and what is she going to do when she gets sick and needs me? Of course, five seconds after this tirade, she will ask if I'm coming home for the holidays. I just say no, but I'll happily fly her out here. Nope, not good enough. This may be her last Christmas on earth (possibly true since she has a bad heart but odds are she'll outlive me) and flying will just tire her out (the doctor says she can fly, I've asked), so I should come there -- at least for Christmas. So, the guilt cards have been: putting my child above her; moving; her bad health; my selfishness; my uncaring attitude (that one she is 100% correct about); my greed. I don't tell my daughter about these conversations but, of course, she hears enough to piece most of it together. So, she's mad at me that we're not going to grandma's for Christmas and what if this really is her last? The problem is the invite is for me, not for the both of us. When we lived close by, my mother knew that there was no way my child would be excluded and even one word spoken about my mother's true feelings and we were out the door. I will give my mother credit -- to this day my daughter has no clue how badly her grandmother wants her gone. Even if the invite was for the both of us, I don't want to go. My mother is too draining. She :censored: the life right out of me. There's no joy around her. So, I will feel slightly guilty because I feel such resentment towards my mother and then I'll sigh and get on with our holidays and enjoy them and the peace there is without her. [/QUOTE]
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My mom is laying a guilt trip
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