Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
My mom is laying a guilt trip
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 96500" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>You said it for me, Fran. If it will be too much for difficult child, then leave him and husband at home and go visit her yourself. But before you do, think - is she still going to whine about you not being there long enough or for exactly when she wants you?</p><p></p><p>As for all this making her depressed - that is her choice. Sounds to me like she is using her recent hospitalisations to milk every opportunity to get her own way, regardless of cost to others.</p><p></p><p>Kjs, I hear you about not having parents around to even whinge about - but that is not this problem, it is you (and me). Many times I'd have liked to pick up the phone and talk to either of my parents, especially about difficult child 3 and what they remember about other family members; but it's not been possible for many years now. It still hurts. But I also know that my parents' time was done, to have wanted them to fight to live a bit longer would have also had them living in great pain. </p><p></p><p>Sharon, do you have any siblings? If so, are they getting any of this?</p><p></p><p>Some people really put a lot of emphasis n the holiday period and INSIST that family MUST be together exactly on that day. But as we get older and begin our independent lives, we become torn - if a wife is begged to see her parents at the same time and day that the husband is begged to see HIS parents - something's gotta give. Compromises must be made and we adjust to these. Most sensible people say, "I will be happy to see you when I see you and for as long as you can organise it - the exact day doesn't matter, we'll celebrate Christmas at New Year's, if necessary."</p><p></p><p>It's the few selfish ones who insist that things be as THEY want them, who really never get the whole point and make themselves (and everybody else) miserable.</p><p></p><p>I'll shut up now, before I get really angry about this. I learned to compromise years ago but I still see a lot of hurt caused by people who have not and cannot accept other people's need to live their own lives.</p><p></p><p>One last thing - whatever you choose to do, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 96500, member: 1991"] You said it for me, Fran. If it will be too much for difficult child, then leave him and husband at home and go visit her yourself. But before you do, think - is she still going to whine about you not being there long enough or for exactly when she wants you? As for all this making her depressed - that is her choice. Sounds to me like she is using her recent hospitalisations to milk every opportunity to get her own way, regardless of cost to others. Kjs, I hear you about not having parents around to even whinge about - but that is not this problem, it is you (and me). Many times I'd have liked to pick up the phone and talk to either of my parents, especially about difficult child 3 and what they remember about other family members; but it's not been possible for many years now. It still hurts. But I also know that my parents' time was done, to have wanted them to fight to live a bit longer would have also had them living in great pain. Sharon, do you have any siblings? If so, are they getting any of this? Some people really put a lot of emphasis n the holiday period and INSIST that family MUST be together exactly on that day. But as we get older and begin our independent lives, we become torn - if a wife is begged to see her parents at the same time and day that the husband is begged to see HIS parents - something's gotta give. Compromises must be made and we adjust to these. Most sensible people say, "I will be happy to see you when I see you and for as long as you can organise it - the exact day doesn't matter, we'll celebrate Christmas at New Year's, if necessary." It's the few selfish ones who insist that things be as THEY want them, who really never get the whole point and make themselves (and everybody else) miserable. I'll shut up now, before I get really angry about this. I learned to compromise years ago but I still see a lot of hurt caused by people who have not and cannot accept other people's need to live their own lives. One last thing - whatever you choose to do, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
My mom is laying a guilt trip
Top