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My mother's letter to difficult child....VENT
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 339282" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>klmno, </p><p></p><p>There are people in this world that have never learned the art of effective communication and are just fine with how they communicate to others. There are also toxic people who say hurtful things, and there are people that say things to evoke emotion in others for a reaction or debate because they live for it. </p><p></p><p>Over in PE I put up a post about a book I'm looking for. Read what the msnbc interview with the psychiatrist said about parents who are toxic. I think you would benefit from that book. Just read the blurb about Fiona and how that woman handled her Mom. Really amazing. </p><p></p><p>As far as what your Mom wrote to your son? I think the letter would be just lost. If she said "Did X get my letter?" I would reply "You know what Mom? I put it down to send it to him and missplaced it. My apologies. If I get a card and send it to you postage paid, how about sending that back to me and I'll see he gets it?" </p><p></p><p>Then find a very encouraging,uplifting card....do the postage paid as promised....and send it to her. Have her send it back....and if she sends it back and IT is still negative....loose it too. Maybe she was just in a bad place that day? Maybe that's her whole life? Negative. If so? Loose her letters to your son, and keep her distanced from you, like you are. </p><p></p><p>You, are a good person. Despite however and whoever raised you? You should know that. You have done a good job raising your son, you have done the very best you could. If you didn't get encouragement as a child? Then you should be happy in knowing that you now have good friends here that will prop you up when you feel slumpy, having never met you, who care despite not really knowing you -only based on what you write daily...and who encourage you and really mean it. How lovely is that? You are a part of this family, and it's give to get nature. Pretty cool actually. So you can move on from <-------there and you are very wise NOT to allow your son to stagnate in her sadness. Good job Mom. Good job friend. </p><p></p><p>So there.....now that you have a solution.....go make me something pretty. HA......</p><p></p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Star.......OH and if it's a small card? She can't write much can she?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 339282, member: 4964"] klmno, There are people in this world that have never learned the art of effective communication and are just fine with how they communicate to others. There are also toxic people who say hurtful things, and there are people that say things to evoke emotion in others for a reaction or debate because they live for it. Over in PE I put up a post about a book I'm looking for. Read what the msnbc interview with the psychiatrist said about parents who are toxic. I think you would benefit from that book. Just read the blurb about Fiona and how that woman handled her Mom. Really amazing. As far as what your Mom wrote to your son? I think the letter would be just lost. If she said "Did X get my letter?" I would reply "You know what Mom? I put it down to send it to him and missplaced it. My apologies. If I get a card and send it to you postage paid, how about sending that back to me and I'll see he gets it?" Then find a very encouraging,uplifting card....do the postage paid as promised....and send it to her. Have her send it back....and if she sends it back and IT is still negative....loose it too. Maybe she was just in a bad place that day? Maybe that's her whole life? Negative. If so? Loose her letters to your son, and keep her distanced from you, like you are. You, are a good person. Despite however and whoever raised you? You should know that. You have done a good job raising your son, you have done the very best you could. If you didn't get encouragement as a child? Then you should be happy in knowing that you now have good friends here that will prop you up when you feel slumpy, having never met you, who care despite not really knowing you -only based on what you write daily...and who encourage you and really mean it. How lovely is that? You are a part of this family, and it's give to get nature. Pretty cool actually. So you can move on from <-------there and you are very wise NOT to allow your son to stagnate in her sadness. Good job Mom. Good job friend. So there.....now that you have a solution.....go make me something pretty. HA...... Hugs & Love Star.......OH and if it's a small card? She can't write much can she? [/QUOTE]
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