Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
My rope is gone!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 455524" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>There's too many layers to deal with all of them at the same time. I mean - YOU have to, and all I have to offer is hugs and an ear. Not fair.</p><p>But to make this easier for me to keep straight, I'm going to have to pick a topic. Which is tough, because there seems to be TWO real biggies... Biggest, and You.</p><p>Seeing as how you're a Mom, I'm guessing we tackle Biggest first. Other things will flow from there.</p><p></p><p>First, yes, even kids with NO mental health/medical/learning issues would be having major problems after what you all have been through. Hands down.</p><p>The problem is...</p><p>1) the "solutions" that work for most kids, don't work for "our" kids.</p><p>2) the issues that come out of the situation are 100x worse, because "our" kids don't have the coping skills, social skils, etc.</p><p>3) Biggest is at exactly the WRONG age for any of this. Somehow, grades 3-5 are the absolute worst time to be making major changes... NOT that you had any choice in the matter. But its reality. At this age, the other kids have well-formed cliques, bullying roles are well defined, and if you can't walk in and fit in instantly, you're an "outsider". Like, "forever" (or at least until highschool).</p><p></p><p>Second, it sounds like there are "hidden" disabilities going on.</p><p></p><p>His writing problem is NOT motor skills - because motor skills don't magically go away - you can lose them due to injury, but otherwise... that's not the problem.</p><p>Suggestion: He might have dysgraphia. A learning disability that has to do with capturing thoughts and ideas in written form. It makes no difference if they are asked to write/print, type (computer or whatever), or are scribed for... getting thoughts into organized written form is like pulling hens' teeth. <u>This is a learning disability.</u> It is not the same as dyslexia... which affects both reading and writing. Typically, kids with dysgraphia can devour books, and can deliver all the right answers back in class discussions or oral exams... just can't do "written work".</p><p></p><p>He works better "one-on-one". It will take a LOT of pushing on this one, but start working through the process of getting his auditory functions tested. He likely doesn't have a hearing problem, but you'll need to rule that out. Probably doesn't have a language processing problem either, but also needs to be ruled out. Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) is usually through the school - if you can get access. But in most of Canada, they are also available privately - many work in the school system and take a few cases in the evening or over the summer, partly to keep a broader exposure to age groups etc. And they are NOT that expensive for testing. What you are really looking for here is "auditory filtering" or "auditory discrimination". His brain may have problems distinguishing the sounds he needs to hear, in the presence of background noise - and classrooms are NOISY, at the best of times. You'll have to really push to get this tested - its fairly new - only been seen around HERE in the last couple of years.</p><p></p><p>Either auditory issues OR dysgraphia would be enough to send an intellegent kid around the bend. BOTH is deadly. And it could be both.</p><p></p><p>Given his intellegence, not being able to write, or not being able to hear, is really frustrating. He is really smart, but looks stupid - and both the other kids, and most of the teachers, will treat him that way. Getting the right diagnosis on this will help deal with the teacher problem (usually) - and, dealing with the teacher problem leads to success, which helps deal with the other problems.</p><p></p><p>If he's Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified, then he's toward the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) spectrum but doesn't meet "diagnostic cutoff". BUT - things that work for Aspie's often work for Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified. You might have to ask about some stronger medications... to slow that engine down. Trying to deal with the other stuff is going to be really hard until you get him slowed down. Depends on how open to discussion your psychiatrist is... might need to add a low-dose antipsychotic. Sounds scary - but it was our only hope, and its working well.</p><p></p><p>---</p><p>Briefly, about YOU. 4 hours of sleep - 5 on a good night. been there done that. For 2 years. Its better now - but we had to find answers first.</p><p>You may not be able to solve that in the short run. But in the mean time, you need to be careful not to add to the problem. So, don't use caffeine, nicotine, or calories to keep yourself going. It snowballs too fast.</p><p>Eat frequent small meals, make every snack healthy. Make sure you drink enough - water, milk, juice, herbal tea.</p><p>Speaking of herbal tea... for some people, certain herbs work wonders on moods. Might be worth playing with.</p><p></p><p>Sounds like you have a few resources around you - that helps.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there... we'll be interested to see how the wedding goes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 455524, member: 11791"] There's too many layers to deal with all of them at the same time. I mean - YOU have to, and all I have to offer is hugs and an ear. Not fair. But to make this easier for me to keep straight, I'm going to have to pick a topic. Which is tough, because there seems to be TWO real biggies... Biggest, and You. Seeing as how you're a Mom, I'm guessing we tackle Biggest first. Other things will flow from there. First, yes, even kids with NO mental health/medical/learning issues would be having major problems after what you all have been through. Hands down. The problem is... 1) the "solutions" that work for most kids, don't work for "our" kids. 2) the issues that come out of the situation are 100x worse, because "our" kids don't have the coping skills, social skils, etc. 3) Biggest is at exactly the WRONG age for any of this. Somehow, grades 3-5 are the absolute worst time to be making major changes... NOT that you had any choice in the matter. But its reality. At this age, the other kids have well-formed cliques, bullying roles are well defined, and if you can't walk in and fit in instantly, you're an "outsider". Like, "forever" (or at least until highschool). Second, it sounds like there are "hidden" disabilities going on. His writing problem is NOT motor skills - because motor skills don't magically go away - you can lose them due to injury, but otherwise... that's not the problem. Suggestion: He might have dysgraphia. A learning disability that has to do with capturing thoughts and ideas in written form. It makes no difference if they are asked to write/print, type (computer or whatever), or are scribed for... getting thoughts into organized written form is like pulling hens' teeth. [U]This is a learning disability.[/U] It is not the same as dyslexia... which affects both reading and writing. Typically, kids with dysgraphia can devour books, and can deliver all the right answers back in class discussions or oral exams... just can't do "written work". He works better "one-on-one". It will take a LOT of pushing on this one, but start working through the process of getting his auditory functions tested. He likely doesn't have a hearing problem, but you'll need to rule that out. Probably doesn't have a language processing problem either, but also needs to be ruled out. Speech Language Pathologist (SLP) is usually through the school - if you can get access. But in most of Canada, they are also available privately - many work in the school system and take a few cases in the evening or over the summer, partly to keep a broader exposure to age groups etc. And they are NOT that expensive for testing. What you are really looking for here is "auditory filtering" or "auditory discrimination". His brain may have problems distinguishing the sounds he needs to hear, in the presence of background noise - and classrooms are NOISY, at the best of times. You'll have to really push to get this tested - its fairly new - only been seen around HERE in the last couple of years. Either auditory issues OR dysgraphia would be enough to send an intellegent kid around the bend. BOTH is deadly. And it could be both. Given his intellegence, not being able to write, or not being able to hear, is really frustrating. He is really smart, but looks stupid - and both the other kids, and most of the teachers, will treat him that way. Getting the right diagnosis on this will help deal with the teacher problem (usually) - and, dealing with the teacher problem leads to success, which helps deal with the other problems. If he's Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified, then he's toward the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) spectrum but doesn't meet "diagnostic cutoff". BUT - things that work for Aspie's often work for Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified. You might have to ask about some stronger medications... to slow that engine down. Trying to deal with the other stuff is going to be really hard until you get him slowed down. Depends on how open to discussion your psychiatrist is... might need to add a low-dose antipsychotic. Sounds scary - but it was our only hope, and its working well. --- Briefly, about YOU. 4 hours of sleep - 5 on a good night. been there done that. For 2 years. Its better now - but we had to find answers first. You may not be able to solve that in the short run. But in the mean time, you need to be careful not to add to the problem. So, don't use caffeine, nicotine, or calories to keep yourself going. It snowballs too fast. Eat frequent small meals, make every snack healthy. Make sure you drink enough - water, milk, juice, herbal tea. Speaking of herbal tea... for some people, certain herbs work wonders on moods. Might be worth playing with. Sounds like you have a few resources around you - that helps. Hang in there... we'll be interested to see how the wedding goes. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
My rope is gone!
Top