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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 620414" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My dear, precious daughter was assaulted twice...once when she was eight and she didn't tell anyone until she was fourteen. She declined any help and we offered her any help she needed/wanted/craved. She did use drugs and I think that may have been one reason, however it was not the only reason and it didn't change what had happened and as she turned eighteen clearly it was on the way to killing her. Although she refused all help for t hat and the drug use, I went to a therapist to keep my sanity and I was told the same thing. Yes, Daughter was a victim of sexual assault and it's horrible to live through. However, she is refusing 100% of the good help we had offered her for this and now that she is an adult it is up to her to handle what happened in a helpful and productive way. She owns her behavior at that point, regardless of the bad breaks she'd had. Once we stopped feeling sorry for her and when she no longer had us as an audience for her rages, an amazing thing happened...she quit her drug use and got her life together. She even visited a place for sexually assaulted women, something she had refused to do while living at home. It helped her to learn she was not alone.</p><p></p><p>She is a well adjusted, sweet young woman now and is very much just your normal mother-to-be. And I give 100% of the credit to my daughter and I'm so proud of her to have gone through so much and come out ahead. All of our difficult children can do it, if that's what they want to do. It is their decision. No matter how bad they had it as a child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 620414, member: 1550"] My dear, precious daughter was assaulted twice...once when she was eight and she didn't tell anyone until she was fourteen. She declined any help and we offered her any help she needed/wanted/craved. She did use drugs and I think that may have been one reason, however it was not the only reason and it didn't change what had happened and as she turned eighteen clearly it was on the way to killing her. Although she refused all help for t hat and the drug use, I went to a therapist to keep my sanity and I was told the same thing. Yes, Daughter was a victim of sexual assault and it's horrible to live through. However, she is refusing 100% of the good help we had offered her for this and now that she is an adult it is up to her to handle what happened in a helpful and productive way. She owns her behavior at that point, regardless of the bad breaks she'd had. Once we stopped feeling sorry for her and when she no longer had us as an audience for her rages, an amazing thing happened...she quit her drug use and got her life together. She even visited a place for sexually assaulted women, something she had refused to do while living at home. It helped her to learn she was not alone. She is a well adjusted, sweet young woman now and is very much just your normal mother-to-be. And I give 100% of the credit to my daughter and I'm so proud of her to have gone through so much and come out ahead. All of our difficult children can do it, if that's what they want to do. It is their decision. No matter how bad they had it as a child. [/QUOTE]
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