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<blockquote data-quote="CDN_DAD_in_tough" data-source="post: 734802" data-attributes="member: 21175"><p>Well I’m not sure about that. I don’t feel very amazing. Lol. In fact, mostly I feel like a failure as both a dad and a husband. But I’m not really beating myself up about it. I don’t think very many of us are really “amazing” at much of life. I think I am just a person. People have strengths and weaknesses and I certainly have my share of both. I’ve come to the conclusion that my ex wife and I were probably not the parents my older son needed. My younger boy is a person I “get.” He does things in a way that I understand even if I sometimes don’t like it/have to correct it. But looking back now I can see that there were signs with my older son at a young age that he had issues and we should have done something then when we could have exercised more control. But we didn’t and there’s no way to go back and fix that now. </p><p></p><p>Honestly, I’d really say I’m not cut out for fatherhood. I do my best to try and be a good dad, but I’m actually a very selfish, and not very patient man. In dealing with my younger boy - who is almost 13 and doesn’t exhibit any of the really OTT characteristics my older boy has presented since he was maybe 7 or 8 - I’m fine. I can work with him. But my difficult older son and I seem to have diametrically opposed needs. It’s like we are two reverse magnets or something and we almost automatically push against each other. That’s a big part of the challenge of parenting I guess right? I mean it’s not like there’s a matching service to make sure you are going to get kids who think and operate exactly like you expect they should...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CDN_DAD_in_tough, post: 734802, member: 21175"] Well I’m not sure about that. I don’t feel very amazing. Lol. In fact, mostly I feel like a failure as both a dad and a husband. But I’m not really beating myself up about it. I don’t think very many of us are really “amazing” at much of life. I think I am just a person. People have strengths and weaknesses and I certainly have my share of both. I’ve come to the conclusion that my ex wife and I were probably not the parents my older son needed. My younger boy is a person I “get.” He does things in a way that I understand even if I sometimes don’t like it/have to correct it. But looking back now I can see that there were signs with my older son at a young age that he had issues and we should have done something then when we could have exercised more control. But we didn’t and there’s no way to go back and fix that now. Honestly, I’d really say I’m not cut out for fatherhood. I do my best to try and be a good dad, but I’m actually a very selfish, and not very patient man. In dealing with my younger boy - who is almost 13 and doesn’t exhibit any of the really OTT characteristics my older boy has presented since he was maybe 7 or 8 - I’m fine. I can work with him. But my difficult older son and I seem to have diametrically opposed needs. It’s like we are two reverse magnets or something and we almost automatically push against each other. That’s a big part of the challenge of parenting I guess right? I mean it’s not like there’s a matching service to make sure you are going to get kids who think and operate exactly like you expect they should... [/QUOTE]
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