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My son, car insurance/repairs, SSI, job, a cello.... reality check please?
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 618668" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>That's it in a nutshell, Tammy. That is so totally it. Instead of problem solving and tackling problems one at a time, it's that helplessness and blaming everything and everyone else. I don't even think blame should be playing into it at this point. Yes, he made some *really* bad decisions for a very long time, but at some point you just have to pick yourself up and get on with it. What's done is done. Move the heck on already.</p><p></p><p>He wants a good quality of life handed to him, feels he's entitled to it. We just can't wrap our heads around that. He thinks I'm unreasonable in expecting him to at least make an effort to contribute to car insurance but at the same time, is unwilling/unable to see how senseless it is to rent a cello - the cello gives him "something to do." We should just pay his car insurance, because. </p><p></p><p>Sigh.... it's like living on an eroding beach. The boundaries are constantly changing. </p><p> </p><p>I apologize for saying that I wished it were drugs. Woke up this morning and thought "uh-oh, I have probably really ticked some folks off." Was sheer frustration last night. I remember all too well when he was using, and the terror that we'd be getting a call saying he'd OD'd. But at the same time, there was that sliver of hope that if he managed to survive and get off drugs, clarity and purpose would come. Even knowing that it takes longer for our kids to "cook", he's coming up on 23 soon and is still nonfunctional. Hard to find hope.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 618668, member: 8"] That's it in a nutshell, Tammy. That is so totally it. Instead of problem solving and tackling problems one at a time, it's that helplessness and blaming everything and everyone else. I don't even think blame should be playing into it at this point. Yes, he made some *really* bad decisions for a very long time, but at some point you just have to pick yourself up and get on with it. What's done is done. Move the heck on already. He wants a good quality of life handed to him, feels he's entitled to it. We just can't wrap our heads around that. He thinks I'm unreasonable in expecting him to at least make an effort to contribute to car insurance but at the same time, is unwilling/unable to see how senseless it is to rent a cello - the cello gives him "something to do." We should just pay his car insurance, because. Sigh.... it's like living on an eroding beach. The boundaries are constantly changing. I apologize for saying that I wished it were drugs. Woke up this morning and thought "uh-oh, I have probably really ticked some folks off." Was sheer frustration last night. I remember all too well when he was using, and the terror that we'd be getting a call saying he'd OD'd. But at the same time, there was that sliver of hope that if he managed to survive and get off drugs, clarity and purpose would come. Even knowing that it takes longer for our kids to "cook", he's coming up on 23 soon and is still nonfunctional. Hard to find hope. [/QUOTE]
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My son, car insurance/repairs, SSI, job, a cello.... reality check please?
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