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My son, car insurance/repairs, SSI, job, a cello.... reality check please?
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 618694" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>MWM - good points, all. Absolutely, no question thank you doesn't think the way typical folks think. And he knows it, but rather than acknowledging that he has to make accommodations to fit in/be more successful (aka jump through the hoop), his thinking is superior and everyone else is wrong. That is a constant with him. It makes it extremely difficult to keep him headed in the right direction.</p><p></p><p>I've made lists, gotten phone numbers for resources. He's on SSI, certainly he should be getting services through DMH. But he doesn't need them because he's above it all. No question he needs a psychiatrist, should be getting some kind of treatment, but he thinks they will label him or admit him or... I don't know what. </p><p></p><p>And yes, the responsibility for his quality of life needs to be squarely on his shoulders. As it has always been with him, forever, I can lead him to the water but I can't make him drink, and somehow it makes sense to him to die of dehydration while standing next to the full trough rather than "give in" and drink. </p><p></p><p>If he were happy, or even just content, I wouldn't think twice about it. I know there are limitations he has, even if he doesn't want to deal with it. But the constant misery and moaning and "if onlys" from him wear me down. And I guess I've reached the end of my tolerance for trying to keep him headed in a forward direction, only to have him want more more more from us while doing nothing for himself - and he *is* capable of doing something, reaching out for help, treatment, job training, *something*. </p><p></p><p>The cello - he's renting a cello for $55 a month but at the same time doesn't have $$ for food, cigs (not heartbreaking in my humble opinion), car insurance/repairs, etc. He's found a great new bar that only sells microbrewery beer, but can we pick up food for him at Sam's cuz he's out of money and won't get his check for another 3 weeks. Cause and effect continue to elude him, and his #1 priority is what I would consider luxuries, to the detriment of necessities. That wonky thought process of his makes it incredibly difficult if not impossible to lead him from A to B to C. He wants D, wants it now, full speed ahead and the heck with- the mundane obligations other mere mortals work their posteriors off to take care of. </p><p></p><p>He is just so above it all, but at the same time is so miserable and somehow expects us to "help" him, but only within the constraints of his skewed thinking and expectations and boundaries, without any expectation that he will start taking responsibility for his own junk at any time in the near future.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 618694, member: 8"] MWM - good points, all. Absolutely, no question thank you doesn't think the way typical folks think. And he knows it, but rather than acknowledging that he has to make accommodations to fit in/be more successful (aka jump through the hoop), his thinking is superior and everyone else is wrong. That is a constant with him. It makes it extremely difficult to keep him headed in the right direction. I've made lists, gotten phone numbers for resources. He's on SSI, certainly he should be getting services through DMH. But he doesn't need them because he's above it all. No question he needs a psychiatrist, should be getting some kind of treatment, but he thinks they will label him or admit him or... I don't know what. And yes, the responsibility for his quality of life needs to be squarely on his shoulders. As it has always been with him, forever, I can lead him to the water but I can't make him drink, and somehow it makes sense to him to die of dehydration while standing next to the full trough rather than "give in" and drink. If he were happy, or even just content, I wouldn't think twice about it. I know there are limitations he has, even if he doesn't want to deal with it. But the constant misery and moaning and "if onlys" from him wear me down. And I guess I've reached the end of my tolerance for trying to keep him headed in a forward direction, only to have him want more more more from us while doing nothing for himself - and he *is* capable of doing something, reaching out for help, treatment, job training, *something*. The cello - he's renting a cello for $55 a month but at the same time doesn't have $$ for food, cigs (not heartbreaking in my humble opinion), car insurance/repairs, etc. He's found a great new bar that only sells microbrewery beer, but can we pick up food for him at Sam's cuz he's out of money and won't get his check for another 3 weeks. Cause and effect continue to elude him, and his #1 priority is what I would consider luxuries, to the detriment of necessities. That wonky thought process of his makes it incredibly difficult if not impossible to lead him from A to B to C. He wants D, wants it now, full speed ahead and the heck with- the mundane obligations other mere mortals work their posteriors off to take care of. He is just so above it all, but at the same time is so miserable and somehow expects us to "help" him, but only within the constraints of his skewed thinking and expectations and boundaries, without any expectation that he will start taking responsibility for his own junk at any time in the near future. [/QUOTE]
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My son, car insurance/repairs, SSI, job, a cello.... reality check please?
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