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Parent Emeritus
My son, car insurance/repairs, SSI, job, a cello.... reality check please?
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 618785" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Once when my son was in jail I visited him. As I was about to leave, the young female officer at the front desk asked me how old he was. </p><p></p><p>I said "23."</p><p></p><p>She said, "well you have about three or four more years to go."</p><p></p><p>I wasn't sure what she meant so I said "what do you mean?"</p><p></p><p>She said, "A lot of these young men finally start to get it about 26 or 27."</p><p></p><p>I said, "You promise?"</p><p></p><p>And we both laughed.</p><p></p><p>If only we knew there was an end to it all. </p><p></p><p>I can relate to so much of what you wrote...the bad decisions, lack of cause and effect, not thinking beyond this moment, the blaming and victimhood.</p><p></p><p>The symptoms of these diseases are so similar but I think there is comfort there. </p><p></p><p>This is a disease. </p><p></p><p>One of the key treatments/responses is also the same: we must stop. We have to stay out of the way and let our adult children grow up and take responsibility...or not...even if it doesn't look like what we hoped and dreamed for them.</p><p></p><p>It is so hard to consistently do this.</p><p></p><p>One tool I am using with some success is the tool of silence and inaction. Whenever possible, say nothing. Whenever possible, do nothing. </p><p></p><p>Let time take its own time. </p><p></p><p>Silence really can be golden...For them and for us.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent from my iPhone using ConductDisorders</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 618785, member: 17542"] Once when my son was in jail I visited him. As I was about to leave, the young female officer at the front desk asked me how old he was. I said "23." She said, "well you have about three or four more years to go." I wasn't sure what she meant so I said "what do you mean?" She said, "A lot of these young men finally start to get it about 26 or 27." I said, "You promise?" And we both laughed. If only we knew there was an end to it all. I can relate to so much of what you wrote...the bad decisions, lack of cause and effect, not thinking beyond this moment, the blaming and victimhood. The symptoms of these diseases are so similar but I think there is comfort there. This is a disease. One of the key treatments/responses is also the same: we must stop. We have to stay out of the way and let our adult children grow up and take responsibility...or not...even if it doesn't look like what we hoped and dreamed for them. It is so hard to consistently do this. One tool I am using with some success is the tool of silence and inaction. Whenever possible, say nothing. Whenever possible, do nothing. Let time take its own time. Silence really can be golden...For them and for us. Sent from my iPhone using ConductDisorders [/QUOTE]
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My son, car insurance/repairs, SSI, job, a cello.... reality check please?
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