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My son is a heroin addict and I just kicked him out again
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 727563" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I want to welcome you and hope you find strength and hope here! There isn't anything you cannot tell us. We have all been through the wars with our own children and we truly understand. We won't ever judge you. We will tell you what worked for us, and what we would do. We always know that what works in your family won't be exactly what fit our family. It isn't like trying on socks, after all! It also takes time to be ready to do what is right for your family. We will be there with you until you are ready to take whatever steps you want/need to take. No judgement even when we say we would take other steps.</p><p></p><p>Addiction is a really ugly disease. I am glad you are going to go to some meetings. I hope you find them helpful. </p><p></p><p>Until you change something in your son's addiction equation, nothing will change for him. Right now he steals money, he gets high, he gets thrown out for a few days, he gets to come back home. No big deal. He has friends who will let him stay for a couple of days. Or he knows other places where he can crash. </p><p></p><p>All of his money CAN go for heroin because he lives with you and you meet all of his basic needs. You provide shelter and warmth and food and probably even clothing to some extent. So money he earns is his drug money. Life will be very different if and/or when he needs to also provide those basics. You will learn if those have any importance to him. They may actually not be of importance to him when it is a choice between them and his drugs. This is where you will need a lot of support from meetings and people who understand. And the Serenity Prayer.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if you should throw him out for good or not. Chances are that I might do that. I would see him as an adult, not a child or my baby boy. I am not you and am not having to make that choice today. I know what I think I would do, but if I am totally honest, even I cannot give a guarantee as to what I would absolutely do. Mostly because I haven't been in that situation yet. I do have a pretty low tolerance for theft, especially with someone abusing drugs in my home.</p><p></p><p>The other thing to think about is your safety. Most users end up selling drugs to some degree. Even if they say they don't, they do. It is how they can make enough to pay for their habit. Even if they don't sell, they deal with drug dealers. This can bring a very dangerous group of people to your home. It can make your life VERY dangerous. It is something to think about. If someone thinks you have drugs or money, they will do things to you to get them. It places you and those you love in danger. Sometimes you have to let the addict go, or make them leave, to keep other loved ones safe. I have distant relatives who had to make that choice. It is something to be aware of as you formulate your plans and make your choices.</p><p></p><p>Many hugs. I wish this wasn't such an awful situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 727563, member: 1233"] I want to welcome you and hope you find strength and hope here! There isn't anything you cannot tell us. We have all been through the wars with our own children and we truly understand. We won't ever judge you. We will tell you what worked for us, and what we would do. We always know that what works in your family won't be exactly what fit our family. It isn't like trying on socks, after all! It also takes time to be ready to do what is right for your family. We will be there with you until you are ready to take whatever steps you want/need to take. No judgement even when we say we would take other steps. Addiction is a really ugly disease. I am glad you are going to go to some meetings. I hope you find them helpful. Until you change something in your son's addiction equation, nothing will change for him. Right now he steals money, he gets high, he gets thrown out for a few days, he gets to come back home. No big deal. He has friends who will let him stay for a couple of days. Or he knows other places where he can crash. All of his money CAN go for heroin because he lives with you and you meet all of his basic needs. You provide shelter and warmth and food and probably even clothing to some extent. So money he earns is his drug money. Life will be very different if and/or when he needs to also provide those basics. You will learn if those have any importance to him. They may actually not be of importance to him when it is a choice between them and his drugs. This is where you will need a lot of support from meetings and people who understand. And the Serenity Prayer. I don't know if you should throw him out for good or not. Chances are that I might do that. I would see him as an adult, not a child or my baby boy. I am not you and am not having to make that choice today. I know what I think I would do, but if I am totally honest, even I cannot give a guarantee as to what I would absolutely do. Mostly because I haven't been in that situation yet. I do have a pretty low tolerance for theft, especially with someone abusing drugs in my home. The other thing to think about is your safety. Most users end up selling drugs to some degree. Even if they say they don't, they do. It is how they can make enough to pay for their habit. Even if they don't sell, they deal with drug dealers. This can bring a very dangerous group of people to your home. It can make your life VERY dangerous. It is something to think about. If someone thinks you have drugs or money, they will do things to you to get them. It places you and those you love in danger. Sometimes you have to let the addict go, or make them leave, to keep other loved ones safe. I have distant relatives who had to make that choice. It is something to be aware of as you formulate your plans and make your choices. Many hugs. I wish this wasn't such an awful situation. [/QUOTE]
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My son is a heroin addict and I just kicked him out again
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