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Substance Abuse
My son is blind and an addict who is using while living in my home. What do I do?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 603509" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Georgie, welcome. I'm so sorry you are going through this with your son. If your son is bipolar, you might want to contact NAMI, which is the National Alliance on Mental Illness. You can access them on line, they have chapters all over. They have information and resources which may offer you alternatives for your sons housing and care. The NAMI branch where I live in CA. has Social Workers who work with the families and they will figure out what the services and resources are and hook the family up. Unfortunately, your son may not move in that direction, I'm sure he's become quite comfortable in your home manipulating all of you to get his needs met. Even with the disabilities your son has, it does not give him the right to make the rest of you miserable. You have rights. If your son is not willing to get the help offered, you can also begin eviction. Eviction is different in all states and some states require a legal court order, even if it is your own son. You might want to research that as well. </p><p></p><p>You are in a tough situation, I'm sure it feels like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. You and you wife might have a serious conversation to figure out exactly what you are willing to do and what you are not willing to do. Once you get clear on that, if you are willing to take some difficult steps, you may be able to shift this situation around. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post. If I were in your shoes, (and I have been very close), I would get all my ducks in order. I would find out through NAMI or Social Services, exactly what services are available for my son. There are group homes, there are options. I would talk to the Social Workers and get that information down. Then I would figure out exactly what the eviction process is. Then I would find all the local homeless shelters in my area. In the meantime, I would consider getting counseling for both you and your wife so you have support to make these difficult choices. Once I had all the information at my fingertips, I would have a serious conversation with my son and tell him what his options are. Presuming you can find alternatives for housing through some Social Services, if he is not willing to follow through with that, then you can start the eviction process. </p><p></p><p>First you have to decide what you are willing to do. For me, I was not willing to allow my daughter to ruin my life and the lives of the rest of the family, so I learned how to detach with professional help and this board. I took some hard steps to unhook myself and over time learned how to let go. If that is the choice you and your wife make, my suggestion is that you seek professional help in the way of a therapist. It's a challenging road to choose. Your sons illness and his choices are <strong>not</strong> your responsibility unless you decide to take that on, <em>you do have choices. </em>You may have to dig around for them, it may take time and a commitment, but I would start that process today. I wish you peace of mind, I really understand how difficult and heart wrenching this is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 603509, member: 13542"] Georgie, welcome. I'm so sorry you are going through this with your son. If your son is bipolar, you might want to contact NAMI, which is the National Alliance on Mental Illness. You can access them on line, they have chapters all over. They have information and resources which may offer you alternatives for your sons housing and care. The NAMI branch where I live in CA. has Social Workers who work with the families and they will figure out what the services and resources are and hook the family up. Unfortunately, your son may not move in that direction, I'm sure he's become quite comfortable in your home manipulating all of you to get his needs met. Even with the disabilities your son has, it does not give him the right to make the rest of you miserable. You have rights. If your son is not willing to get the help offered, you can also begin eviction. Eviction is different in all states and some states require a legal court order, even if it is your own son. You might want to research that as well. You are in a tough situation, I'm sure it feels like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. You and you wife might have a serious conversation to figure out exactly what you are willing to do and what you are not willing to do. Once you get clear on that, if you are willing to take some difficult steps, you may be able to shift this situation around. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post. If I were in your shoes, (and I have been very close), I would get all my ducks in order. I would find out through NAMI or Social Services, exactly what services are available for my son. There are group homes, there are options. I would talk to the Social Workers and get that information down. Then I would figure out exactly what the eviction process is. Then I would find all the local homeless shelters in my area. In the meantime, I would consider getting counseling for both you and your wife so you have support to make these difficult choices. Once I had all the information at my fingertips, I would have a serious conversation with my son and tell him what his options are. Presuming you can find alternatives for housing through some Social Services, if he is not willing to follow through with that, then you can start the eviction process. First you have to decide what you are willing to do. For me, I was not willing to allow my daughter to ruin my life and the lives of the rest of the family, so I learned how to detach with professional help and this board. I took some hard steps to unhook myself and over time learned how to let go. If that is the choice you and your wife make, my suggestion is that you seek professional help in the way of a therapist. It's a challenging road to choose. Your sons illness and his choices are [B]not[/B] your responsibility unless you decide to take that on, [I]you do have choices. [/I]You may have to dig around for them, it may take time and a commitment, but I would start that process today. I wish you peace of mind, I really understand how difficult and heart wrenching this is. [/QUOTE]
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My son is blind and an addict who is using while living in my home. What do I do?
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