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My son is spiraling down
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 673876" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>QS, I am sure your adrenaline is at an all-time high today. I used to dread my son coming to my house for any reason. Hang in there, and slow down. Slowing down is one very quick tool you can grab onto and it really helps. Sit down, close your eyes for 5 minutes and just breathe. As your thoughts come into your mind, keep breathing, notice the thought and then let it go. Don't try to control your thoughts. Just sit there in silence and keep breathing. Doing this several times a day will really help slow you down.</p><p></p><p>You are no match for your son's addictions and mental illness. You need to get professional help to deal with him. If the situation is volatile, I would call 911 or you can take him straight to the ER and that is a great first step toward getting someone who is mentally ill (addiction is a mental illness too) to treatment. The professionals are then in charge.</p><p></p><p>I would make some hard and fast rules about whether or not he can stay at your home for any period of time, even for a visit. That was non-negotiable with me. In fact, when my son's girlfriend stabbed him last summer, he was in the hospital (left AMA and went back) and when he got out my ex-husband (his dad) and I put him up in a hotel for 2 weeks. He was not coming to either of our houses. </p><p></p><p>If the situation is calmer and you have a little more time, get a therapist specializing in addiction or substance abuse counselor involved quickly to help you with him and pave the way to treatment.</p><p></p><p>My son would talk about help but then back way off once it came time to actually do anything. Don't fall into that trap.</p><p></p><p>Keep your words simple. You don't need to make long speeches. He knows already. Don't let him get you into circular discussions...they are great at that. He's either going to treatment or not. Period. No half-measures.</p><p></p><p>And you don't need to promise anything to get him to go---no apartments, etc. He will need to go to a halfway house after he is released from treatment and you don't even have to bring that up right now.</p><p></p><p>Keep us posted. We're here for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 673876, member: 17542"] QS, I am sure your adrenaline is at an all-time high today. I used to dread my son coming to my house for any reason. Hang in there, and slow down. Slowing down is one very quick tool you can grab onto and it really helps. Sit down, close your eyes for 5 minutes and just breathe. As your thoughts come into your mind, keep breathing, notice the thought and then let it go. Don't try to control your thoughts. Just sit there in silence and keep breathing. Doing this several times a day will really help slow you down. You are no match for your son's addictions and mental illness. You need to get professional help to deal with him. If the situation is volatile, I would call 911 or you can take him straight to the ER and that is a great first step toward getting someone who is mentally ill (addiction is a mental illness too) to treatment. The professionals are then in charge. I would make some hard and fast rules about whether or not he can stay at your home for any period of time, even for a visit. That was non-negotiable with me. In fact, when my son's girlfriend stabbed him last summer, he was in the hospital (left AMA and went back) and when he got out my ex-husband (his dad) and I put him up in a hotel for 2 weeks. He was not coming to either of our houses. If the situation is calmer and you have a little more time, get a therapist specializing in addiction or substance abuse counselor involved quickly to help you with him and pave the way to treatment. My son would talk about help but then back way off once it came time to actually do anything. Don't fall into that trap. Keep your words simple. You don't need to make long speeches. He knows already. Don't let him get you into circular discussions...they are great at that. He's either going to treatment or not. Period. No half-measures. And you don't need to promise anything to get him to go---no apartments, etc. He will need to go to a halfway house after he is released from treatment and you don't even have to bring that up right now. Keep us posted. We're here for you. [/QUOTE]
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My son is spiraling down
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