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My son is spiraling down
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 675354" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>I have gone through this, too.</p><p></p><p>Thinking of all the what ifs.</p><p></p><p>It is hard, but we have no control over any of this, it is up to our d c's.</p><p></p><p>You have done so much already QS, <em>the rest is up to him</em>.</p><p></p><p>Praying helps me, also, the serenity prayer.....</p><p><img src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/93/09/cb/9309cb2621bc670597eac2ad2bf52066.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></p><p></p><p>I have to work really, really hard at changing my focus.</p><p>This is the time when we as moms, need to be very kind to ourselves. Do something good for you every day.</p><p>Take time to breathe. Do things that help you focus on something else, besides the worrying.</p><p>Worrying does not help <em>us or our d c's.</em></p><p>Time and again, I have thought the worst, only to find out that my two were out there partying.</p><p>I slipped in and out of a dark tunnel. I am still working hard at this..... acceptance......</p><p></p><p> QS, we have value to our lives, too. </p><p>Is your daughter still there with you?</p><p>Hold on to her.</p><p></p><p>I have candles for my two, in the window at night. </p><p>It helps to light them and say a prayer for them.</p><p></p><p>I feel for you QS, I know the pain of it.</p><p>The reality of it is, the disrespect and destruction in our homes, to us, and our D cs, is unacceptable.</p><p></p><p>They do not get better under my roof, in my home. They drag <em>everyone</em> down with them.</p><p>I have to keep reminding myself of this.</p><p></p><p>With me, their ways just continue, </p><p>I think I am a lifeline, but really,</p><p> I was just allowing them to continue making bad choices.</p><p></p><p>I gave them their wings, now they have to test them. Their wings work, they have to work, <em>we will not be around forever to pick up the pieces</em>. </p><p>They have to learn from the consequences of their choices.</p><p></p><p>It does not feel good <em>to not know</em>, I know this.</p><p></p><p>But, QS, there are so many stories here on CD and on the web, of d cs making <em>better lives for themselves</em>, when we stop enabling them. It may not happen right away, in our timeframe, but we can take all of that energy we use worrying, and channel it into positive thoughts for our d c's.</p><p></p><p>I have to think this way, to be able to live my life.</p><p></p><p>If I am consumed with worry and dread for my two, I am not able to function, love myself, live my life, and pay proper attention to my three, that are doing well. This is not fair to them, or me, or my husband.</p><p></p><p>Now a days, when I find myself sinking, I repeat this....</p><p></p><p>"They are out there, finding their way, they will be okay.</p><p>God, please help and guide them."</p><p></p><p>I hope you are able to relax and breathe,</p><p>if your daughter is still with you,</p><p>bask in the sunshine of her company.</p><p></p><p>If not, call her and tell her how much you love her.</p><p></p><p>Do take care QS, keep sharing and posting, it does help. Be very kind and gentle to yourself.</p><p></p><p>God, comfort and keep you, dear sister.</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 675354, member: 19522"] I have gone through this, too. Thinking of all the what ifs. It is hard, but we have no control over any of this, it is up to our d c's. You have done so much already QS, [I]the rest is up to him[/I]. Praying helps me, also, the serenity prayer..... [IMG]https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/93/09/cb/9309cb2621bc670597eac2ad2bf52066.jpg[/IMG] I have to work really, really hard at changing my focus. This is the time when we as moms, need to be very kind to ourselves. Do something good for you every day. Take time to breathe. Do things that help you focus on something else, besides the worrying. Worrying does not help [I]us or our d c's.[/I] Time and again, I have thought the worst, only to find out that my two were out there partying. I slipped in and out of a dark tunnel. I am still working hard at this..... acceptance...... QS, we have value to our lives, too. Is your daughter still there with you? Hold on to her. I have candles for my two, in the window at night. It helps to light them and say a prayer for them. I feel for you QS, I know the pain of it. The reality of it is, the disrespect and destruction in our homes, to us, and our D cs, is unacceptable. They do not get better under my roof, in my home. They drag [I]everyone[/I] down with them. I have to keep reminding myself of this. With me, their ways just continue, I think I am a lifeline, but really, I was just allowing them to continue making bad choices. I gave them their wings, now they have to test them. Their wings work, they have to work, [I]we will not be around forever to pick up the pieces[/I]. They have to learn from the consequences of their choices. It does not feel good [I]to not know[/I], I know this. But, QS, there are so many stories here on CD and on the web, of d cs making [I]better lives for themselves[/I], when we stop enabling them. It may not happen right away, in our timeframe, but we can take all of that energy we use worrying, and channel it into positive thoughts for our d c's. I have to think this way, to be able to live my life. If I am consumed with worry and dread for my two, I am not able to function, love myself, live my life, and pay proper attention to my three, that are doing well. This is not fair to them, or me, or my husband. Now a days, when I find myself sinking, I repeat this.... "They are out there, finding their way, they will be okay. God, please help and guide them." I hope you are able to relax and breathe, if your daughter is still with you, bask in the sunshine of her company. If not, call her and tell her how much you love her. Do take care QS, keep sharing and posting, it does help. Be very kind and gentle to yourself. God, comfort and keep you, dear sister. (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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