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My son left. I asked him to.
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<blockquote data-quote="so ready to live" data-source="post: 688106" data-attributes="member: 20054"><p>Copa-so very hard-my heart goes out to you this day. In another post you said you were in bed after he did not bring key back-I get this, sometimes I just need to hide as sleep is the only relief from my thoughts. But then sleep eludes me as a final "kick in the head". Such torment.</p><p></p><p>I do believe this is the hardest part- the deceit. Like your son, mine has some real, recognized deficits, but don't we all to some extent? It's the "playing us" that kills me. I think just tell me to my face the truth, then I realize he doesn't even differentiate lying from truth anymore. Personality disorder, character flaw or just drugs talking, who knows?</p><p></p><p></p><p>Walrus said "it was time to step away..." not walk away. I feel the difference greatly. We take a step away to see more clearly, to adjust our focus. You did not walk away with your back to him at all, you evaluated the situation seeing that it was not benefitting anyone. You have gone over and above on your end. No parent could have done more...</p><p> I don't think the questioning ever stops, it is obvious many of us are deliberate decision makers, if we had moved in haste and "caution to the wind" we wouldn't be here hashing it out. In another post I mentioned an old journal we found from 2004. Same concerns, same problems but gave us such a realization for how long we had been "in this". We should be an al-anon example of doing the same thing and expecting different results. </p><p> I'll never stop<em> hoping</em> for different results but I have to the best of my ability got on my own ladder to simply watch.</p><p> A step away.</p><p>Prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="so ready to live, post: 688106, member: 20054"] Copa-so very hard-my heart goes out to you this day. In another post you said you were in bed after he did not bring key back-I get this, sometimes I just need to hide as sleep is the only relief from my thoughts. But then sleep eludes me as a final "kick in the head". Such torment. I do believe this is the hardest part- the deceit. Like your son, mine has some real, recognized deficits, but don't we all to some extent? It's the "playing us" that kills me. I think just tell me to my face the truth, then I realize he doesn't even differentiate lying from truth anymore. Personality disorder, character flaw or just drugs talking, who knows? Walrus said "it was time to step away..." not walk away. I feel the difference greatly. We take a step away to see more clearly, to adjust our focus. You did not walk away with your back to him at all, you evaluated the situation seeing that it was not benefitting anyone. You have gone over and above on your end. No parent could have done more... I don't think the questioning ever stops, it is obvious many of us are deliberate decision makers, if we had moved in haste and "caution to the wind" we wouldn't be here hashing it out. In another post I mentioned an old journal we found from 2004. Same concerns, same problems but gave us such a realization for how long we had been "in this". We should be an al-anon example of doing the same thing and expecting different results. I'll never stop[I] hoping[/I] for different results but I have to the best of my ability got on my own ladder to simply watch. A step away. Prayers. [/QUOTE]
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