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My son left. I asked him to.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 688200" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>So I went to Walmart, and on the way I thought of a plan. A plan for me.</p><p></p><p>If he contacts me and wants to return to live in the house.</p><p></p><p>One, if he asks me if we can try again (at this point I do not know where he is and has no phone) I will ask him what he wants, what are his plans <em>about life</em>. And I will listen.</p><p></p><p>Two, I will respond by telling him that housing with me comes as a consequence of deciding and working towards changes in his life. That I understand it is his business, what he wants and how to live. But if he chooses to want to change, before he lives in the house he needs to demonstrate to me, first, the following:</p><p></p><p>A clean drug test.</p><p></p><p>A decision of what he chooses to commit himself to, for the next year, and idea what he wants to attain in the next 5 years.</p><p></p><p>If college is one of his goals, I want to see that he has assembled his past transcripts of completed work, spoken to a college counselor, applied for admission and for financial aid and completed one online course (self paced).</p><p></p><p>If he decides upon a goal other than college, I want to see a similar plan of action and the beginning phase completed. </p><p></p><p>Consistent with my conditions before, he will need to work with us on the remodel of the house. But before he lives with us, he needs to establish he is ready to self-monitor, work well and consistently without supervision.</p><p></p><p>If he commits to the above, and puts into place one piece of it he is welcome to stay overnight once a week.</p><p></p><p>Does this seem out of line? </p><p></p><p>I understand that I cannot control what he wants or how he wants to live. But I can control my conditions, as requirements for my help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 688200, member: 18958"] So I went to Walmart, and on the way I thought of a plan. A plan for me. If he contacts me and wants to return to live in the house. One, if he asks me if we can try again (at this point I do not know where he is and has no phone) I will ask him what he wants, what are his plans [I]about life[/I]. And I will listen. Two, I will respond by telling him that housing with me comes as a consequence of deciding and working towards changes in his life. That I understand it is his business, what he wants and how to live. But if he chooses to want to change, before he lives in the house he needs to demonstrate to me, first, the following: A clean drug test. A decision of what he chooses to commit himself to, for the next year, and idea what he wants to attain in the next 5 years. If college is one of his goals, I want to see that he has assembled his past transcripts of completed work, spoken to a college counselor, applied for admission and for financial aid and completed one online course (self paced). If he decides upon a goal other than college, I want to see a similar plan of action and the beginning phase completed. Consistent with my conditions before, he will need to work with us on the remodel of the house. But before he lives with us, he needs to establish he is ready to self-monitor, work well and consistently without supervision. If he commits to the above, and puts into place one piece of it he is welcome to stay overnight once a week. Does this seem out of line? I understand that I cannot control what he wants or how he wants to live. But I can control my conditions, as requirements for my help. [/QUOTE]
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