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My son left. I asked him to.
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<blockquote data-quote="Ironbutterfly" data-source="post: 689014" data-attributes="member: 19951"><p>Copa- I hope you are mad, really mad. I hate to say this, but you and M keep eating his crap on a spoon. I did the same thing with my son- until I got angry, really angry and said no more. You both have bent over back-wards with so many chances, very few conditions, and yet, he can't do the two requests: help fix up the house and don't do drugs.</p><p></p><p>Fact is, he doesn't want to live by those two rules. He left that note as an escape of having to do something responsibly, to change, to honor you and M for all you have done. It's an excuse he uses over and over again because he simply wants to do what he wants to do, whenever he wants and he knows, that eventually, you and M will extend an olive branch yet again. He works you both. What I see happening is both you and M talk; you have a plan of action, you deliver it to son. Son tries, he doesn't follow through. He runs, leaves messages, making you both feel like crap. He comes back, you again offer him another "solution", hoping this will be more agreeable to him. He throws a fit, leaves a "poor me" note to make you feel even worse. It's a wash, rinse and repeat cycle. Many of us have done the wash, rinse and repeat to no avail.</p><p></p><p>I got mad and tired of being made a fool by my son's lies, manipulations, emotional outbursts and threats. The promises, the fake stories of well he is doing, blah blah. I got mad and tired of him sucking the joy out of my life every other week. I got tired of offering solutions him saying oh yes, great idea and then really give me the finger.</p><p></p><p>Today, I had to block my son from calls, face-book. He lied yet again. I even gave him a clue as to why. It was hard to do block him, not getting any calls, knowing how he is. But today, you know I just don't give a crap. Maybe I will unblock him at some point, but for now this is where I am. I am free from lot of things. Will I wonder and worry, sure. But he made his bed yet again, he can just lie in it for a while. I did tough love of no contact for 6 months- he told me years later, thank you, was the best thing you did for me. I keep that in mind today, with him blocked. I'm tired and need to recharge myself. I don't want to eat what he is trying to serve me, which is his crap on a spoon.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ironbutterfly, post: 689014, member: 19951"] Copa- I hope you are mad, really mad. I hate to say this, but you and M keep eating his crap on a spoon. I did the same thing with my son- until I got angry, really angry and said no more. You both have bent over back-wards with so many chances, very few conditions, and yet, he can't do the two requests: help fix up the house and don't do drugs. Fact is, he doesn't want to live by those two rules. He left that note as an escape of having to do something responsibly, to change, to honor you and M for all you have done. It's an excuse he uses over and over again because he simply wants to do what he wants to do, whenever he wants and he knows, that eventually, you and M will extend an olive branch yet again. He works you both. What I see happening is both you and M talk; you have a plan of action, you deliver it to son. Son tries, he doesn't follow through. He runs, leaves messages, making you both feel like crap. He comes back, you again offer him another "solution", hoping this will be more agreeable to him. He throws a fit, leaves a "poor me" note to make you feel even worse. It's a wash, rinse and repeat cycle. Many of us have done the wash, rinse and repeat to no avail. I got mad and tired of being made a fool by my son's lies, manipulations, emotional outbursts and threats. The promises, the fake stories of well he is doing, blah blah. I got mad and tired of him sucking the joy out of my life every other week. I got tired of offering solutions him saying oh yes, great idea and then really give me the finger. Today, I had to block my son from calls, face-book. He lied yet again. I even gave him a clue as to why. It was hard to do block him, not getting any calls, knowing how he is. But today, you know I just don't give a crap. Maybe I will unblock him at some point, but for now this is where I am. I am free from lot of things. Will I wonder and worry, sure. But he made his bed yet again, he can just lie in it for a while. I did tough love of no contact for 6 months- he told me years later, thank you, was the best thing you did for me. I keep that in mind today, with him blocked. I'm tired and need to recharge myself. I don't want to eat what he is trying to serve me, which is his crap on a spoon. [/QUOTE]
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