My son will not have a place to live June 1 - follow up

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by carolyn4120, May 19, 2015.

  1. carolyn4120

    carolyn4120 New Member

    Yesterday I was notified by Matthew by two parents (their sons are friends of Matthew), that their kids were going to Rehab. I sent a text to Matthew asking him if he was interested. His initial response, “F” NO! Moments later he texted, “Yeah Maybe”. Then he texted me “Yes, I want to go”. Then he texted me requesting me to call Melissa (his old counselor from his Residential Treatment Center (RTC)). I called and we had a long talk. Melissa said Matthew was interested in the place that her husband Ross (Matthew’s Residential Director at his Residential Treatment Center (RTC)), went to. It’s a six month program and very expensive. I told Matthew it would come out of his college fund. He said fine. I’m very torn about doing this for him. I wonder if this is just a manipulation so he won’t be homeless. Of course he could have picked a 30 day program but he knows he needs more than that.

    Matthew posted on Facebook requesting input about what folks thought about him going to Rehab. The overwhelming response was yes. He is in touch with his birth mother on Facebook. She commented that he should grab at this chance and really make a go of it. He said he really wanted it and would do the necessary work as this was his choice.

    I feel we have to go along with him. Give him this chance. I had always told him we would be there for help as far as mental illness, and rehab. I’m not jumping up and down with joy, as I really hope this isn’t another ploy for him to be taken care of. Of course, I believe we don’t’ have the option to say no.
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  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    You do have the option to say no.
    Is this one expensive because of "luxury" amenities? Or just plain expensive? I wouldn't be funding luxury.

    If it's a good program and just expensive, and it can be funded out of his education fund, he can find other ways to get an education.

    But it's your choice whether to fund THIS one. His choice to go or not, to work the program or not.
  3. carolyn4120

    carolyn4120 New Member

  4. carolyn4120

    carolyn4120 New Member

    It's not luxurious at all. It will be a lot of hard work. They keep the ratio very low so there is lots of 1 on 1 attention. I personally don't think he's college material (maybe a community college). He will have funds for that as well. At this point I just don't think I can say no. He posted he really wants to go and won't waste the opportunity and he will really work at it. I think the decision has been made in my mind.
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    But it helps to talk it through - and that's what we're here for :D
  6. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member


    Very happy for you and for your son that this is so.


    Nothing about any of these terrible things happening to our families is certain. This is a shot. I would bless myself and my son and take it. Especially given that someone he admires took that same path and succeeded.

    That's the thing about being the mom.

    We make crucial decisions with our hearts in our throats and flying by the seats of our pants.

    I would do it; I would so take this chance.

    I do, too.

    Wishing every possible success for you and for your child and your family.

  7. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    I think his willingness to go is a very good thing. Just take it slow and see what happens.

    If he's not ready you will all know soon enough.

    But stay in this moment: this is what you have been hoping for.

    Please keep us posted. We are rooting for you all.