Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
My Son
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 434683" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p><em><strong>"He has challenges daily:</strong></em></p><p><em><strong></strong><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">Reading and writing</span></em></p><p><em><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'">Huge Lack of Motivation</span></em></p><p><em><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Staying on task</span></span></em></p><p><em><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Poor Self Esteem</span></span></em></p><p><em><span style="font-family: 'Tahoma'"><span style="font-size: 10px">Extreme fear of almost everything</span></span> <strong>"</strong></em></p><p> </p><p>Its a bit of a chicken-and-egg situation... and you really do need to figure out which comes first, which is a process, but here's a guess...</p><p> </p><p>The poor self esteem and lack of motivation are likely the <em>result</em> of other problems, rather than the cause. </p><p> </p><p>The fear (anxiety, likely) can be both - at the same time. Anxiety can set the child up for negative experiences - and negative experiences can add to anxiety.</p><p> </p><p>In the long run, you're going to have to get to the bottom of the learning disabilities - really need to get a detailed diagnosis on those, because the approach to take is going to depend on the cause... For example, difficulty with writing can be a physical disability rather than a learning disability - that is, the child may not have the neuro-motor control to handle the task of "printing" or "handwriting"; The lack of effective handwriting makes it difficult to learn how to compose written work, due to lack of practice. This can exist alone, or there can ALSO be a learning disability in this area... whch then makes the situation REALLY murky! Problems with both reading and writing may be related to dyslexia - but there are other possibilities. Has he been screened by the school system for learning disabilities? They "should" be able to catch things like dyslexia, dysgraphia, etc.</p><p> </p><p>Not sure what the psychiatrist means by "controlling emotions"... this could be either an emotional issue (anxiety, depression, othermood disorders), OR it could be the executive functions issues that are frequently part of ADD/ADHD - shift, inhibit, plan, organize, etc. Immaturity goes with the package - they do not behave their physical age - the gap averages at least 2 years, and is often more... and can vary greatly depending on the situation. There are definitely medications that can help with ADHD symptoms - these don't solve the problem, but provide a little bigger gap between "think" and "do", so that they can <u>learn</u> to be more in control.</p><p> </p><p>Does he have any talents? Or ways of finding some (that you don't know he has)? There is NO better way to turn around self-esteem, than success. But for maximum effect, it has to be school-related in some way, so that the feedback comes from his school peers. For example... middle school is often when band begins. Is he musical? If so, can he pick or be assigned his instrument early? Then, he could take lessons over the summer and be in really good shape for the first band lessons. Or some sport? Or is he artistic? We found that, in school, you were a real loser unless and until you had a different label. "Artist", "musician", "athlete", "mathematician" (we know one who gets 99% in math and 55% in english...),... anything but "teacher's pet"! Find it. Feed it. Let him excel at it - even if it means a little bit less energy and time for homework. Sometimes, you have to start with a non-school activity - can he train the dog to do tricks? learn to cook a meal? How he feels about himself is going to be more important really fast... It took us 4 years and 3 areas of success... plus some really good diagnosis... and we're starting to pull out of the depths. </p><p> </p><p>Oh, yes. Those diagnosis. For some kids, it is absolutely vital to get to the bottom of every single issue, because the kid needs to understand the causes and limits of his problems. For years, he will have felt that there is something wrong with him - and will have exploded this out of proportion. Defining the limits of the problems helps change the focus to what is "right" about him - as in, "you are a normal 11 year old boy going into grade x, except for your problems with reading and writing, ... </p><p> </p><p>He really needs to know that he is not defined by his problems - that the real person is still a real person, with real talents, and something to contribute to society. Find ways for his star to shine, while you all work on the parts that need fixing or polishing or work-arounds...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 434683, member: 11791"] [I][B]"He has challenges daily: [/B][FONT=Tahoma]Reading and writing[/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma]Huge Lack of Motivation[/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2]Staying on task[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2]Poor Self Esteem[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Tahoma][SIZE=2]Extreme fear of almost everything[/SIZE][/FONT] [B]"[/B][/I] [B][/B] Its a bit of a chicken-and-egg situation... and you really do need to figure out which comes first, which is a process, but here's a guess... The poor self esteem and lack of motivation are likely the [I]result[/I] of other problems, rather than the cause. The fear (anxiety, likely) can be both - at the same time. Anxiety can set the child up for negative experiences - and negative experiences can add to anxiety. In the long run, you're going to have to get to the bottom of the learning disabilities - really need to get a detailed diagnosis on those, because the approach to take is going to depend on the cause... For example, difficulty with writing can be a physical disability rather than a learning disability - that is, the child may not have the neuro-motor control to handle the task of "printing" or "handwriting"; The lack of effective handwriting makes it difficult to learn how to compose written work, due to lack of practice. This can exist alone, or there can ALSO be a learning disability in this area... whch then makes the situation REALLY murky! Problems with both reading and writing may be related to dyslexia - but there are other possibilities. Has he been screened by the school system for learning disabilities? They "should" be able to catch things like dyslexia, dysgraphia, etc. Not sure what the psychiatrist means by "controlling emotions"... this could be either an emotional issue (anxiety, depression, othermood disorders), OR it could be the executive functions issues that are frequently part of ADD/ADHD - shift, inhibit, plan, organize, etc. Immaturity goes with the package - they do not behave their physical age - the gap averages at least 2 years, and is often more... and can vary greatly depending on the situation. There are definitely medications that can help with ADHD symptoms - these don't solve the problem, but provide a little bigger gap between "think" and "do", so that they can [U]learn[/U] to be more in control. Does he have any talents? Or ways of finding some (that you don't know he has)? There is NO better way to turn around self-esteem, than success. But for maximum effect, it has to be school-related in some way, so that the feedback comes from his school peers. For example... middle school is often when band begins. Is he musical? If so, can he pick or be assigned his instrument early? Then, he could take lessons over the summer and be in really good shape for the first band lessons. Or some sport? Or is he artistic? We found that, in school, you were a real loser unless and until you had a different label. "Artist", "musician", "athlete", "mathematician" (we know one who gets 99% in math and 55% in english...),... anything but "teacher's pet"! Find it. Feed it. Let him excel at it - even if it means a little bit less energy and time for homework. Sometimes, you have to start with a non-school activity - can he train the dog to do tricks? learn to cook a meal? How he feels about himself is going to be more important really fast... It took us 4 years and 3 areas of success... plus some really good diagnosis... and we're starting to pull out of the depths. Oh, yes. Those diagnosis. For some kids, it is absolutely vital to get to the bottom of every single issue, because the kid needs to understand the causes and limits of his problems. For years, he will have felt that there is something wrong with him - and will have exploded this out of proportion. Defining the limits of the problems helps change the focus to what is "right" about him - as in, "you are a normal 11 year old boy going into grade x, except for your problems with reading and writing, ... He really needs to know that he is not defined by his problems - that the real person is still a real person, with real talents, and something to contribute to society. Find ways for his star to shine, while you all work on the parts that need fixing or polishing or work-arounds... [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
My Son
Top