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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
My son's drug addiction will not destroy me.
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<blockquote data-quote="SeaGenieTx" data-source="post: 671454" data-attributes="member: 18773"><p>The HARDEST thing in the world is to let someone go. My only son, my world, the love of my life, I have had to let go and just let him be. Today I finally sent a simple text to him "From time to time can you just please text me to let me know you are ok/alive?". He immediately texted back "I am alive and well". I replied "That is all I need to know" and left it at that. What a difference that made - I was able to concentrate at work and tell God "Please just keep him safe and turn him away from drugs".</p><p></p><p>I've let go and detached more than I ever have and it's working. I think my son needed me to throw him out of the nest for good (not just push him then say "Oh I'm sorry, you ok? Come back if you need to"). He needed the "Get out and grow up" push. He is alive, he is not in jail. That is all I ask.</p><p></p><p>I have my moments but I know I need to stay focused on me. I've neglected so much to raise and take care of him for the past 23 years. I have to grieve the loss but as time goes by I realize how bad I have neglected myself and my soul because my world has been centered around him. </p><p></p><p>So, at age 53, I'm starting a new life. I'm totally alone but forcing myself to get out, go to church (which helps tremendously), get involved in some singles meet up groups for happy hours, etc. Exercising, eating right, getting back into my painting and modeling clay, enjoying my Netflix series (highly recommend Bloodline & Damages) and day by day I am realizing it's getting easier to be selfish and do things for me! Even at work I've changed and am putting the focus on me instead of catering to everyone else. In return, I'm getting respect.</p><p></p><p>I am a giver - I love helping others but realized there is a huge difference in helping people who appreciate what you are doing and helping people who take advantage and suck the life out of you.</p><p></p><p>It's not easy - I miss my son but I'm not centering my world around him anymore. HUGE step for me. That article on detaching - man, so true! You don't realize how sucked in you are until you start following those rules and actually detach. It's almost like detoxing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeaGenieTx, post: 671454, member: 18773"] The HARDEST thing in the world is to let someone go. My only son, my world, the love of my life, I have had to let go and just let him be. Today I finally sent a simple text to him "From time to time can you just please text me to let me know you are ok/alive?". He immediately texted back "I am alive and well". I replied "That is all I need to know" and left it at that. What a difference that made - I was able to concentrate at work and tell God "Please just keep him safe and turn him away from drugs". I've let go and detached more than I ever have and it's working. I think my son needed me to throw him out of the nest for good (not just push him then say "Oh I'm sorry, you ok? Come back if you need to"). He needed the "Get out and grow up" push. He is alive, he is not in jail. That is all I ask. I have my moments but I know I need to stay focused on me. I've neglected so much to raise and take care of him for the past 23 years. I have to grieve the loss but as time goes by I realize how bad I have neglected myself and my soul because my world has been centered around him. So, at age 53, I'm starting a new life. I'm totally alone but forcing myself to get out, go to church (which helps tremendously), get involved in some singles meet up groups for happy hours, etc. Exercising, eating right, getting back into my painting and modeling clay, enjoying my Netflix series (highly recommend Bloodline & Damages) and day by day I am realizing it's getting easier to be selfish and do things for me! Even at work I've changed and am putting the focus on me instead of catering to everyone else. In return, I'm getting respect. I am a giver - I love helping others but realized there is a huge difference in helping people who appreciate what you are doing and helping people who take advantage and suck the life out of you. It's not easy - I miss my son but I'm not centering my world around him anymore. HUGE step for me. That article on detaching - man, so true! You don't realize how sucked in you are until you start following those rules and actually detach. It's almost like detoxing. [/QUOTE]
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My son's drug addiction will not destroy me.
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