my sons school bites...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by anmari75, May 5, 2009.

  1. anmari75

    anmari75 MaMa2_3Munkeyz

    well at least the ones in my area do apparently...i read through posts on here and see that some kids have outbursts or meltdowns or fighting and hitting teachers and are given detention...
    or some light punishment...this amazes me.

    my 11 year old has ADHD/possible ODD and has been sent home more than he has been there it seems. i get a phone call if he shows up with a moody disposition. Some days he will just kinda zone out and sit there quielty but not working. he is sent home for being noncooperative or they will want me to sit in class with him (not going to happen)
    some days he is hyped up and overlytalkative-sent home for the day for being out of control. then they want to complaion that he misses class. this school makes me crazy.

    he has gotten into altercations with other kids and this is mandatory suspension. now they want to have a behavior plan set up for him. his teacher could care less. i think she is just glad that the year is almost over. with his ADD/ADHD he isnt the most organized kid in the class usually forgetting some part of his homework. i have asked her on several occasions to email me his assignments or give him a set of books for home but she just says he is old enough to be responsible for himself because she can ask him waht to do and he can tell her but when it comes to it, my scatterbrained child is just that...scatterbrained and frustrated. he wants to switch schools next year so we are looking into that right now.

    im glad the year is almost over...praying for a fresh start next year.
    just needed to vent...thanks.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Does he have an IEP?
  3. anmari75

    anmari75 MaMa2_3Munkeyz

    no he has never been on one. can you get one for ADHD? i know my older son has one but he has different issues. they have never brought it up either.
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Sounds to me like your son has more issues than just ADHD. in my opinion you should re-evaluate him (take him to a neuropsychologist). It's my understanding that kids with ADHD don't have those crazy moodswings. I'm just a mom so my opinions are just opinions, but here they are: His uneven school behavior (happy one day/off-the-wall the next) sounds more like bipolar, but his behavior almost sounds like Aspergers. If he has either of those, he could get an IEP with no trouble. I know kids with ADHD--friends of my daughter, in fact, she may have it--and none of them are particularly bad behavior problems. They struggle with organization and in school, but they don't have the same issues as your son. Rigid, concrete thinking is more of an Aspie trait (I have one of those). If you have one Spectrum kid, you could well have another. It's genetic and your son may just have a less severe type. However, it could be impacting him as much as it does your older son.
    I'm wondering if you are happy with his diagnosis. Who diagnosed him?
    A neuropsychologist evaluation would pinpoint any/all areas of trouble and certainly help you get an IEP. Whatever is wrong with him is affecting his education and he SHOULD have an IEP. They are making him feel terrible about himself, and he doesn't need to be treated that way.
  5. anmari75

    anmari75 MaMa2_3Munkeyz

    no i am not really happy with it. he has seen a counselor and they talk to him for a few minutes then say...yep hes adhd give him this medicine. he is currently on concerta 36 mg
    and his doctor talked to him for a few minutes and broke out the prescription pad.
    school is the same way they are always asking him...did you take your medicine like it is supposed to make him a braniac perfect student or something. it makes me crazy.

    and getting advice from moms is better at times cause it is plain and simple from someone that has been there not just a dr looking at you all crazy talking to you like your dumb or its your THANK YOU.

    i will call about getting him the neuropsychologist evaluation appointment!!! and ask about the IEP!

    thanks again
  6. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I would definitely send the school a certified letter stating that you want your son evaluated for an IEP. There are samples in the Special Education archives.
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree that you should request an IEP. Sounds like your school suspends very easily.

    I don't know if you were referring to my post but I did mention about difficult child pushing his teacher the other day and getting in altercations with other kids and he received a detention and an hour of ISS. In the past my son has been suspended lots. Some were warranted, most were not. He had a horrible Special Education teacher in 4th grade and she wanted him suspended all of the time. We finally had difficult child's psychiatrist write a note saying that this was directly related to his disability. Now we have it written in his IEP that he can only be suspended for level 4 behaviors. Don't know how long it will last as his principal called last night and wants to discuss having that taken out of the IEP.

    It sounds to me like your school doesn't try very hard if they are sending him home for being uncooperative. I hope that you are able to get an IEP and possibly switch schools. Hugs.
  8. artana

    artana New Member


    Did this start this year? Has it happened with other teachers? Sometimes, a child really has a strong personality mismatch with a teacher. When that happens, even a good teacher will generally start seeing everything wrong the child does, a bad teacher will just try to hand the problem off to someone else. I would definitely question the school on some of those suspensions. It sounds like it's her excuse not to figure out how to deal with your son.

    Secondly, a behavior plan might be a good idea. I have one set up, and it forces acocuntability not just on the child, but on the teacher. You suddenly have a way of pushing communication, asking more questions, and if the teacher doesn't fill it out, then the teacher is slacking. I personally have found it a very good thing with my DS6.

    I agree with everyone else to get him evaluated. An IEP will force more accountability on the school. :)
  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    While it's a good idea to ask for an evaluation for an IEP, chances are the school will do all it can to prevent your son from getting one and services. It's a matter of $$$. Get him privately evaluated by that neuropsychologist so you have ammo. I'll bet he has other stuff going on besides ADHD. The school has to take the private evaluation into account.

    I would also call your State Dept. of Public Education and ask who the free parent advocate is in your district. They are wonderful and invaluable and the schools work much better with you if you have one. They don't want a piece of an advocate!
  10. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I would definitely suggest you look into the IEP. difficult child 2 has been diagnosed with ADHD, but we suspect that's not it, the Concerta just made him horrible to live with. However we are taking him to see a neuropsychologist in June. Anyway, he has an IEP. Originally it was started for speech only, before the ADHD diagnosis, but husband and I have been able to work in a lot of other things due to the ADHD diagnosis. It's not perfect, but it's working for now.

    I know some other children in our district have IEPs for ADHD. I believe it is classified as a disability, therefore falls under IDEA/FAPE. (Pretty sure on this... difficult child 2 also has dyslexia and that does, too, but that was diagnosis'd after the ADHD.)

    difficult child 1 has some behavioral issues and we're not sure how much of it is related to her biomom and how much is due to disability - sneaking suspicion she is borderline - and husband is working on her IEP right now. She's never had one.

    Both difficult children are quite bright, they just have issues. And if they are educated with an IEP, they have a chance to become productive citizens. I would push for an IEP as hard as you can.
  11. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    IEP for sure. It doesn't fix everything but can make a big difference. My difficult child had an IEP in place that allowed her to pack up 5 minutes before everyone else and had the assistance of a resource room teacher to make sure she had all her "stuff". We laso had it written in that she must have a seperate set of books supplied to her for home (We must have paid $200 for lost books over the years) Like I said - it won't fix everything - but it does give you a better level of control/help for your difficult child.

  12. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

  13. lizanne2

    lizanne2 New Member

    I am checking back this morning. I was thinking of you and hoping there was progress.