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My stepdaughter wants to move in!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 660411" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Fear of being alone, sometimes makes us grovel to abusers so that at least we are not alone. I have that fear too so you are not alone. I seriously doubt if your daughter who is 22 will leave you. Sounds like she has the right stuff to make it in life and I don't blame you for letting her live at home since she is working and trying and my guess is she is also respectful. I'm sure you have friends and other loved ones...did you not say you have other grown children? They won't leave you.</p><p></p><p>There is a difference between being totally alone and living alone. Living alone is not something I've ever done, but I think I could do it. In fact, I WOULD do it if it were a choice between nonstop drama and living alone in peace. </p><p></p><p>You can tell your husband, "Yes, and I'm sorry we enabled my daughter as it has only brought grief. That does not mean one mistake needs to lead to another. If she moves in, I move out." Let him deal with her alone. He's not a younhg man. He will shorten his life. There is no reason for you to join in.</p><p></p><p>You do not need to be charitable anymore. I was always very giving too. I feel I paid my dues and the rest of my life is mine. The rest of your life should be yours. You did your giving and got little back for it. Now it's time for you to relax and do what you want to do. Your husband will probably get sick of her, may actually grow some gonads and toss her, and then move in with you. But that is up to him. You can only control yourself. And you have done the giving all your life. It is far past the time when you should be paying some attention to yourself. Your kids and steps are adults now. They have to write their own life's journal, for better or for worse.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 660411, member: 1550"] Fear of being alone, sometimes makes us grovel to abusers so that at least we are not alone. I have that fear too so you are not alone. I seriously doubt if your daughter who is 22 will leave you. Sounds like she has the right stuff to make it in life and I don't blame you for letting her live at home since she is working and trying and my guess is she is also respectful. I'm sure you have friends and other loved ones...did you not say you have other grown children? They won't leave you. There is a difference between being totally alone and living alone. Living alone is not something I've ever done, but I think I could do it. In fact, I WOULD do it if it were a choice between nonstop drama and living alone in peace. You can tell your husband, "Yes, and I'm sorry we enabled my daughter as it has only brought grief. That does not mean one mistake needs to lead to another. If she moves in, I move out." Let him deal with her alone. He's not a younhg man. He will shorten his life. There is no reason for you to join in. You do not need to be charitable anymore. I was always very giving too. I feel I paid my dues and the rest of my life is mine. The rest of your life should be yours. You did your giving and got little back for it. Now it's time for you to relax and do what you want to do. Your husband will probably get sick of her, may actually grow some gonads and toss her, and then move in with you. But that is up to him. You can only control yourself. And you have done the giving all your life. It is far past the time when you should be paying some attention to yourself. Your kids and steps are adults now. They have to write their own life's journal, for better or for worse. [/QUOTE]
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My stepdaughter wants to move in!
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