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My stepdaughter wants to move in!
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<blockquote data-quote="Second Time Around" data-source="post: 660500" data-attributes="member: 18739"><p>It's ok to have those feelings. It means you are finally awake to the position you are really in. Anger in that situation usually means that something is wrong, that your needs aren't being met. Now your job is to forgive yourself for saying yes when you didn't know how say no. Now you can move forward and take care of yourself and value yourself. If you can find a good therapist, that will be really helpful learn to raise your self-esteem. And keep posting here. This is a wonderful support group. Do you have supportive friends that you can spend time with. Spend more time with them, too.</p><p></p><p>Also, I think you should let go of expectations that others will treat you well. Some of your family may never do that. Your priority has to be taking care of yourself. Don't look for support from your borderline daughter. You mentioned that she didn't call, which indicates to me that on some level, you are keeping score and saying to yourself, "here's another time when she let me down". You will feel better if you can let go of expecting anything from her and just let her live her life and you live your life. You may have heard some people here talk about radical acceptance. It's accepting that people are who they are and you can't change it and don't judge them. It's a hard thing to do, but it brings peace and releases resentment that the person didn't live up to the ideal you had for them. It doesn't mean that you let them take advantage of you, just that you aren't looking to them for a good relationship.</p><p></p><p>Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Second Time Around, post: 660500, member: 18739"] It's ok to have those feelings. It means you are finally awake to the position you are really in. Anger in that situation usually means that something is wrong, that your needs aren't being met. Now your job is to forgive yourself for saying yes when you didn't know how say no. Now you can move forward and take care of yourself and value yourself. If you can find a good therapist, that will be really helpful learn to raise your self-esteem. And keep posting here. This is a wonderful support group. Do you have supportive friends that you can spend time with. Spend more time with them, too. Also, I think you should let go of expectations that others will treat you well. Some of your family may never do that. Your priority has to be taking care of yourself. Don't look for support from your borderline daughter. You mentioned that she didn't call, which indicates to me that on some level, you are keeping score and saying to yourself, "here's another time when she let me down". You will feel better if you can let go of expecting anything from her and just let her live her life and you live your life. You may have heard some people here talk about radical acceptance. It's accepting that people are who they are and you can't change it and don't judge them. It's a hard thing to do, but it brings peace and releases resentment that the person didn't live up to the ideal you had for them. It doesn't mean that you let them take advantage of you, just that you aren't looking to them for a good relationship. Take care. [/QUOTE]
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My stepdaughter wants to move in!
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