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My teen keeps bringing pot into our home
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 613706" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>jrw05 welcome. I am sorry you are going through this with your son. You may want to post over in the Substance Abuse forum as well since those folks are well versed in their kids using drugs.</p><p></p><p>Perhaps looking at making your son leave is a bit premature, that may indeed be an option if this behavior continues past High School and impacts his personality in a way which disrespects you, however, for now, my best advice to you is to seek guidance and support for YOU and your husband. Many folks here find solace, support and understanding at 12 step groups, narc anon, Family anonymous or any group which fits what you are dealing with. A therapist can be of much help when our kids go off the rails. It becomes important to be able to utilize a new set of parental tools which someone trained in this can help you to understand and be able to effectively use.</p><p></p><p>Once our kids start making poor choices, and in particular becoming involved in substance abuse, our kids can disappear under the power of the drug and we are impotent in our ability to understand or help them. That is why often professional support becomes necessary for US. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. </p><p></p><p>I believe the first line of defense is to set boundaries around the behaviors you do not want in your home. Those boundaries have to be clear and they have to have consequences. Bringing pot into your home should have consequences, it should not be tolerated. This is where going for help, like narc anon or a therapist is important because you will learn what boundaries to set and how to apply the consequences without enabling. Enabling is an unhealthy practice for not only you but for your son as well. There is a huge difference between enabling and loving kindness and it helps us to know what that is.</p><p></p><p>For more support you can cut and paste this thread over in the SA forum where you will likely receive support from parents who've been in your shoes. It's a tough road you're on and you're right, at times being a parent does stink. I'm sorry you find yourself here, but I'm glad you found us. Keep posting, it does help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 613706, member: 13542"] jrw05 welcome. I am sorry you are going through this with your son. You may want to post over in the Substance Abuse forum as well since those folks are well versed in their kids using drugs. Perhaps looking at making your son leave is a bit premature, that may indeed be an option if this behavior continues past High School and impacts his personality in a way which disrespects you, however, for now, my best advice to you is to seek guidance and support for YOU and your husband. Many folks here find solace, support and understanding at 12 step groups, narc anon, Family anonymous or any group which fits what you are dealing with. A therapist can be of much help when our kids go off the rails. It becomes important to be able to utilize a new set of parental tools which someone trained in this can help you to understand and be able to effectively use. Once our kids start making poor choices, and in particular becoming involved in substance abuse, our kids can disappear under the power of the drug and we are impotent in our ability to understand or help them. That is why often professional support becomes necessary for US. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. I believe the first line of defense is to set boundaries around the behaviors you do not want in your home. Those boundaries have to be clear and they have to have consequences. Bringing pot into your home should have consequences, it should not be tolerated. This is where going for help, like narc anon or a therapist is important because you will learn what boundaries to set and how to apply the consequences without enabling. Enabling is an unhealthy practice for not only you but for your son as well. There is a huge difference between enabling and loving kindness and it helps us to know what that is. For more support you can cut and paste this thread over in the SA forum where you will likely receive support from parents who've been in your shoes. It's a tough road you're on and you're right, at times being a parent does stink. I'm sorry you find yourself here, but I'm glad you found us. Keep posting, it does help. [/QUOTE]
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My teen keeps bringing pot into our home
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