i've sat for hours, at a time thinking about difficult child, the non eating, the fact she began to eat with-no medications in her at all, etc.
than i did some research on it, eating disorders in general, not a food phobia like her's yet more general. again thinking of the attention seeking, the sep. anxiety that is part of her everyday with me, the constant never ending neediness, also the fluctuating moods she has no control over.
i think, and yea i'm just a mom. that she feels her world is out of control as of late, middle school was approaching she was petrified, i was getting married she doesn't like him by the way, easy child was getting older and detaching more, her moods were really kicking in, inability to sleep, etc.
i think in difficult child's own way this is her control. her own power. she knows it's not good for her yet she cant' control anything else right now. she can't control me now remarried, or the fact that the kids my step kids schedules are insane they come and go out of here there is never a calm day when their here, she has no friends, husband and i have been struggling BIGTIME to the point where marriage counseling starts after new year to see if we can make this work if not hard decisions will be made.......
this is the one thing she can control, her food intake, it's personal very personal all about her, and it affects a household and she likes control anyway....
eating disorders i've come to learn from researching again i'm not a doctor are partly a need for attention on some level, partly anxiety driven ofcourse and also a powerful way of getting control and a message across.
does she know what she's doing and why? def. not i dont' think so. not with this.
question is how do i get her to see that's what i think she's doing?? any thoughts??
i'm thinking list making with her, things she'd like to shoot for, "goals" and a plan on how to achieve them. can be as simple as cleaning her hoarded up room, than each day going over list at end of day and saying ok see what you did full control you achieved your goal and controlled that experience to your benefit not demise.
???? i think i'm onto something.....not sure
than i did some research on it, eating disorders in general, not a food phobia like her's yet more general. again thinking of the attention seeking, the sep. anxiety that is part of her everyday with me, the constant never ending neediness, also the fluctuating moods she has no control over.
i think, and yea i'm just a mom. that she feels her world is out of control as of late, middle school was approaching she was petrified, i was getting married she doesn't like him by the way, easy child was getting older and detaching more, her moods were really kicking in, inability to sleep, etc.
i think in difficult child's own way this is her control. her own power. she knows it's not good for her yet she cant' control anything else right now. she can't control me now remarried, or the fact that the kids my step kids schedules are insane they come and go out of here there is never a calm day when their here, she has no friends, husband and i have been struggling BIGTIME to the point where marriage counseling starts after new year to see if we can make this work if not hard decisions will be made.......
this is the one thing she can control, her food intake, it's personal very personal all about her, and it affects a household and she likes control anyway....
eating disorders i've come to learn from researching again i'm not a doctor are partly a need for attention on some level, partly anxiety driven ofcourse and also a powerful way of getting control and a message across.
does she know what she's doing and why? def. not i dont' think so. not with this.
question is how do i get her to see that's what i think she's doing?? any thoughts??
i'm thinking list making with her, things she'd like to shoot for, "goals" and a plan on how to achieve them. can be as simple as cleaning her hoarded up room, than each day going over list at end of day and saying ok see what you did full control you achieved your goal and controlled that experience to your benefit not demise.
???? i think i'm onto something.....not sure