My twin is an addict...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by sms1330, Apr 11, 2016.

  1. sms1330

    sms1330 New Member

    My brother has been addicted to heroin for quite some time. Now he has reverted to the methadone clinic every morning, every day. On top of it, he's an alcoholic and is now shooting up cocaine. I am afraid of losing him. He overdosed and had to be revived 3 times from eating fentanyl patches.. I just recently kicked him out of my house for stealing from me and bringing drugs into my home. Now he is back at my mothers house and now my 14 year old sister is going down the wrong path. She punches my mother, curses at her, breaks her items, runs away, and now is smoking weed, taking pills, and drinking alcohol. My mother has called the cops several times.. heres the catch... her father worked for the sheriffs department for 30 years, before passing away 5 years ago, and they all knew him. They think my little sister is going thru hard times and tell us how to cope with it, they never arrest her for battery, possession, damage to property, etc. She got expelled from 2 schools, and now has a hard time going to this 3rd school because she has a problem fighting. Huge anger issues. Please, I need help. I can no longer live to see my siblings go thru this. I have 4 children of my own to take care of. I need help, please.
  2. rebelson

    rebelson Active Member

    Oh boy. I think your mom is def going to have to be on board with a plan? Since she is the mother to sis and now enabling brother by letting him in.

    It sounds like things have really gotten out of control. I am so sorry, you really seem to care.

    There are some smart, experienced women on here, who will have some great advice for you...
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    As hard as it is to watch, my advice is that this is beyond what you can do anything about...focus on your kids and, if you have one, your significant other. Your mother in my opinion is making a foolish mistake which hurts your sister by bringing your adult brother's drug lifestyle into her house. No wonder Sis is a mess. I can only imagine what she sees. From a childs point of view, it ,in my opinion, causes a parent a lot of respect points if they see us being yanked around by an adult big time drug abuser, even if the person is a sibling or son.

    But you have no power to make your mother show your brother the door. You cant force your brother to go for help to quit. You have no legal rights to get help for your sister either.You have no power over anyone but yourself and your own minor aged children. Because I'm sure you've talked about this with your mother, you must realize that, in her house, she will do what she wants, no matter what you say.

    I hope you can learn to detach with love from all of them. Other adults are not within our power to change. Take care of you and yours...and please dont stress trying to fix things that are out of your power. Sometimes all we can do is to let go of our loved ones bad situations, and simply hope for the best. We cant change or fix them as much as want to.

    Take care.
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2016
  4. Sister's Keeper

    Sister's Keeper Active Member

    I hate methadone. My sister, too is an addict. Methadone was the biggest waste of tie and money. The whole theory behind methadone is that it is supposed to be used to withdraw people from heroin, in that you go in and get your daily dose which should gradually reduce over time until you are off heroin. Of course, this is in conjunction with counseling. Now they do methadone maintenance where they essentially just keep them on methadone for life. They are supposed to drug test them and remove them form the program and boot them from the program if they test positive for other drugs, but if they even bother to test them, they don't do anything about the positive tests.

    I didn't think the police could refuse if your mother insisted on pressing charges. Perhaps I am wrong about this, or maybe your mother backs down when the police persuade her to do otherwise.

    I will agree with the others, there isn't much you can do but learn to detach. Adults are going to do what they want and you can't change that.

    I would suggest you find a local Nar-anon/al-anon meeting. They are a great resource and a great support system.
  5. sms1330

    sms1330 New Member

    Thank you. It's the crooked cops; they knew her dad before he passed away, so she knows that every time she does something wrong that she will get away with it. She got kicked out of school today for fighting again, no charges were pressed.. Methadone, yes, waste of time and money considering he is at his highest dosage and still wants to drink an 18 pack of beer and tops it off with either meth, heroin, or cocaine. I am afraid he has HEP and other medical issues. I have ran out of options. We have about ran out of resources and I was hoping someone knew exactly where I could go and what I could do.. baker act doesn't work, jail doesn't work, etc..
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hes the only one who can do it. Im sorry. You seem very caring. Wish there was a better answer.

    Maybe suggest Mom look into residential placement for Sis. That way she'd get help, be off the street and away from brothers influence and Mom would have one less problem in the house.
  7. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Do your research first.
    Sometimes, that is just as bad as the situation sis is currently in.

    In real life, sometimes there are no solutions.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    ICs post is also very true. Check your options and call CPS if you need guidance. They are far more helpful if you call them acknowledging you need help than if something bad happens and they need to contact you first.
  9. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Active Member

  10. Sister's Keeper

    Sister's Keeper Active Member

    If you are still reading, I think SWOT has the right idea about your sister. Since she is still a minor, maybe a call to social services would help. Express concerns about her welfare with your brother living in the house, as well as concerns about your mother's welfare.

    I'm not sure where the situation with your mother/sister actually falls. I am not sure that the police can refuse to do anything if your mother insists on pressing charges. Do they actually refuse to do anything or does your mother feel intimidated and back down?

    My plan would be to tell your mother to call the police every single time that your sister is violent or threatening. Make them generate the paperwork so that you have documentation.

    As far as your brother goes, there isn't much you can do other than try child services and tell them that there are drugs in the home. It may force your mother to put him out, but if she wants him there, there isn't much you can do.

    I'm in the same situation as you. My sister is an addict and has been her whole adult life and part of her teens. You can't force sobriety on them. I have accepted that my sister will die and addict, probably sooner than later. In spite of losing her children, going to jail, being homeless, having been all kinds of assaulted on the streets she seems to have no desire to change her behavior.

    I know I sound cold, and I am really not, but I have learned that in order to protect myself and her children I have to separate myself from her emotionally. It is not an easy thing to do.
  11. Barbaramoore

    Barbaramoore New Member

    This is sad! It's not just about your sister.Your brother likewise needs assistance. He should be taken to addiction treatment center like that of . You shouldn't disregard him. Addiction is a treatable condition. The first phase of the treatment may be difficult as that is the time where the addicted has to deal with withdrawal symptoms. That is the most troublesome part of the treatment and there are chances that he may get violent and act weired. In any case, once this stage is crossed, we can say half of the treatment is finished. Your sister won't not require a treatment but she should be dealt with. Keep somebody to screen her activities. She is only 14. its easier to manage her now.
  12. Nature

    Nature Active Member

    I'm sorry you are going through this and you've come to the right place. Keep coming back because slowly it will cause you to realize for your own sanity that you are not able to make them change. Only they can. You'll come to that conclusion and with this realization it will help to heal your hurting heart. Encourage your mom to perhaps visit too and she may eventually come to the conclusion that enabling your brother only prolongs his addiction You both will feel you are not alone as this is a safe place with people who are also in the same shoes as you. I think it's the most difficult thing in the world to watch a loved one destroy themselves and not be able to help them. Eventually you will find acceptance that they alone are responsible for change. It must be extremely difficult for you to watch your family falling apart and I hope you see some brightness in your day with your children. Hugs from me.