My update....

[PatriotsGirl]

Well, after making life a living hades for my relatives up north, we sent her back to Georgia after I verified she had a place to live (well, as best as I could anyway, she could have easily told this person to lie for her). She flew back here Thanksgiving night and has been on her own ever since. Why did she fly and not ride back with us on Saturday? Because we did not want to be trapped in a car with her for twenty hours. Sad, huh? We spent a few days with her before she came back. We survived. There were tense moments for sure. It just emphasized how much easier life is not living with her. It's sad. She has been thrown out of every place she had to stay. She still doesn't think she does anything wrong. She sits back and spits her venom at every one, constantly complains, tells every one how they should live their lives, what they do wrong, etc. So annoying!
Anyhow, I'm done. She is of age that she is able to move out and be on her own and so be it. I talked to her PO this morning and told her that she will need to deal with her directly from now on. Her PO agreed there is nothing further we can do for difficult child. Life lessons will be learned the hard way. Stinks for her, but what can you do? She has made her choices and must now deal with the consequences.

Just an example of how different my kids are from each other: Grandma gets easy child a video game he really wanted for his birthday and he is ecstatic but tells grandma he is embarassed she spent so much on him (inlaws are A OK financially, but he is just genuinely sweet).
Grandma gives difficult child a fifty dollar Wal-Mart card figuring now that she is on her own, there are things she will need, etc. And what does difficult child do??? Whispers to me asking what is she supposed to do with it since she has been thrown out of three Wal-Marts....I was disgusted. I don't think she even said thank you.

But, I am very happy to be in Parent Emeritus land.....life is a lot more peaceful here....

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Another update....her PO just called me after trying to call difficult child. difficult child's voicemail says her phone has been stolen, and she needs people's phone numbers if they want her to call them, especially some TJ kid, etc. Of course there were cuss words all in between. Hope no one calls her for a job - no one in their right mind would hire her after listening to that!!!! Honestly.

 

[DaisyFace]

Ugh! Nice.

 

[busywend]

How very frustrating. But, you are doing the right thing. She is parenting resistant. But, I will say this and you will not believe me and that is OK - you will be amazed when you look back at how much growth a teen can do in a year or two. When she is 19 - look back on today. It may never be perfect, but I am betting she will learn on her own in her own way. You are being the best parent anyone can be for THIS child.

 

[Hound dog]

((hugs))

Natural consequences will or won't do their thing. Ball is out of your court now and in hers.

It is nice to be in PE land where we can finally decide if we're going to be pulled into the drama or not. I hope she gets it soon.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Well, she got her phone back. Not sure what the story is behind that one and honestly I don't care. She did call her probation officer this morning and I guess they had a nice long talk. Her PO called me after and told me that difficult child sounded fantastic and was hitting the pavement seeking a job because she is determined to have and maintain her independence. I hope that is true, but I don't believe a word of it. difficult child always says what she knows people want to hear.
difficult child called me and she tried making me feel guilty or something, not sure. She brought up how she doesn't have a ride to see her PO (not my problem) and how much it will stink if she goes to jail (again, not my problem). Once she realized I wasn't offering to do a thing about it, she decided it was time to get off the phone...lol. I reminded her that her choices have consequences and that I love her.
I finally feel good. I finally feel like I am doing the right thing. Finally.

 

[Hound dog]

 

[PatriotsGirl]

She called this morning. Says she has been looking for a job and has an interview at a store at our local mall today. I hope that's true, but you know the old saying.....if they are moving their lips....