Myspace, AIM questions

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Kjs, Jul 4, 2007.

  1. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Ok, difficult child has been on AIM for a couple years. He is only 12, but easy child was on, and difficult child learned how. We didn't allow him much time on the computer back then. And we went without a computer for quite a while.

    Anyway, back then I was able to get into the history of AIM and see whole conversations, dates, times. I cannot find that now. Is it a setting that he has now gotten smart to?

    Myspace, He sent me his URL, but he has it marked as private, so he said I cannot look at anything or respond to him unless I have a myspace and he invites me.
    I really do not know anything about this. He had a Myspace two years ago, and that one was not marked private. He was 10 and said he drinks and does drugs and other bad things. He ofcourse didn't list his age..but listed his school. lol. That one and several he tried to set up since keep getting deleted. He says Myspace deletes them because he is not old do they know?
    Anyway, is there a way to get on to his Myspace if he has it marked private?
  2. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    As long as he has it marked private, he is right. The only way to view his site (short of getting his password and logging on to it) is to have your own site and be approved as one of his friends. If you do manage to get his password, however, be careful when you access it. It will show the date of the last log on....not the time but it will show the date. Also, it will show to others when he is logged on unless you change that setting. Unfortunately, you can't change the setting for showing the last log on.
  3. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    I believe you have to fill in your age when registering which I always thought was dumb 'cuz a kid could put down any age he wanted to!

    I've never heard of being able to see AIM history of conversations. That's interesting.

  4. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    Knowing what I do about people on the net, since the first time I allowed difficult child on a site where he could interact with others I've told him that if I do not know his passwords, he does not go on the internet - period. Just the last couple months he's gotten interested in IMing, email etc. and I helped set them up including entering his passwords, and he does talk to people on World of Warcraft but their convos are pretty boring about the game pretty much LOL. He has never tried to hide anything he's written or anything he goes on, perhaps as he gets a little older he may not want me checking up as much. It's not easy, and I'm sure they can get on other ways than at home, but until their maturity level is high enough to control their own risky behaviors online I think you have to try keep some handle on what they do online. I think perhaps I'm pretty lucky in that difficult child trusts that I won't invade his privacy more than I have to to just make sure he's being safe, and so far I've been able to trust what difficult child does online. When they try hide what they're doing online is a big red flag to me that what they're doing isn't good.
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    If you have the same AIM I do which is version which you can find out when you click on "about AIM" then you can get the IM history under VIEW and then click SHOW LOGS.

    Im trying to go in and see if this is a setting you have to enable.

    It is checked yes in my settings but I dont remember if I checked it or if it came already enabled. Go to EDIT and see if it is checked in IM Logging. If not, then check it.

    You can also install a keylogger program on your computer to capture all the keystrokes that are being typed. Very useful for getting kids passwords! You can go to and find some free programs or free to try programs.
  6. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Thank you all for the advice. I will be following up on this.
  7. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I can read my difficult child's myspace because I know her password. I got her password by checking "forgot my password" and they emailed it to her. Since I know her email account password I just went in and got the myspace password and then deleted the email.

    Invest in a monitoring program that not only lets you monitor everything typed but also records all passwords typed in. I had to be very vigilant about the computer use several years ago and thankfully she is now outgrowing much of the foolishness she use to engage in with the computer, but I still monitor it to make sure she is OK.

    I've talked to a lot of parents who have no idea what their kids are doing on the computer. I know a lot more of what they are doing then their own parents. My difficult child use to run away and I had to know who she was talking to so I could find her. I broke up several drug parties because of what I learned on the computer.

    You may be able to contact myspace and ask them to give you your difficult child's password. They have added a whole new department to monitor problems and try to keep kids safe and to respond to growing criticism and life threatening situations. They may have a procedure for this now. I've contacted them several times in the past and asked them to delete my difficult child's myspace accounts because of misuse. They are much more responsive to parents concerns lately.

  8. IMSnoopee

    IMSnoopee New Member

    Hi there...

    I have a 15 yo and 12 yo always on the internet (if I don't force them off). Rules of the web is that my kids have to give me their passwords. Safety trumps privacy in my house.

    When my 15yo locked me out and left a cute lil' note saying "You'll never guess my password, ha ha ha", I changed the password for the whole computer and left him a note "don't mess with mom". (you can leave little notes on your sign-in for the computer)

    Also, I got a myspace just so I could see who my kids were talking to regularly and see what they post on their bulletins. I'll leave notes for them if I think someone has used inappropriate or suggestive language. I do that just to remind my son and his friends that mom's not too far away at any time.

    Having your own myspace and adding your kids to your friends list does not gain you full access, however. You need their passwords for that. I monitor their friends and bulletins, but I will occassionally log into their account to view the personal email trails and bulletins he sees (what you see as a friend isn't what he sees).

    A friend of mine bought software to read ALL of the IMing programs. She can go in and see every conversation her kids have on yahoo, AIM, myspace, MSN, etc. And her kids know, as well that safety is more important than their IMing chats.

    My understanding of myspace is that they will delete an account that is not following their rules. If a kid isn't watching what they're doing, they can easily get identified as a kiddo.

    Have fun making a myspace account! It can be kinda fun. :smile:
  9. mum2JK&TH

    mum2JK&TH New Member

    Our rule is the same as IMS... I don't get the passwords, you don't get to do it, period. However they do not have computers in their rooms, both are in the living room where we can see. easy child was just allowed to have a facebook account only at the approval of dad-the computer guru and I have her password. For her msn, I have the save history on it and will check it periodically.

    So many of her friends have this stuff and the parents don't know, it frustrates me. These kids put all of their information and really don't get that the whole world can access it!

    We have rules for the internet use and it's simple, our terms or no computer. There is no room for ajustment, way to many wierdos for that!
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Have any of you seen that commercial where the girl is recognized all over town because she has posted her picture on the internet?

    Guys she doesnt know keep saying Hi to her and asking her weird questions such as what she is wearing, when she is going to post another picture, etc.

    One old dude even asks her what color her panties are!

    Its a commercial aimed a young kids to make them think before they post pictures for the whole world to see.
  11. skeeter

    skeeter New Member

    neither of my kids have a Myspace account. I control their email account, and I set the password - they cannot change it. They know if I found something inappropriate, I would change it so they couldn't log in!
    NL can be a computer "addict" at times, so he is ONLY permitted to use the laptop while sitting next to me (unless it's homework related - and I'll take the Wifi card out before he gets the thing). He's done nothing stupid so far, he just wastes time on it.
    As long as they are in my house, using my connections, they follow my rules. Even though NF is out of the house, his "home" email is still an offshoot of mine, so he still has to follow my rules. Of course, his other is a military email - and he better follow the rules on THAT one!!!
  12. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    This stuff is getting really serious! A friend of mine who is in the middle of a divorce just lost custody of her daughter because of the girls' "myspace" page! She's TWELVE! Posted a picture that makes her look much older, said she was 14, gave lots of personal info including her REAL name! The mom had it deleted - the girl opened another account from a friends house and reposted it all. Mom didn't know. Daddy went to court, blamed it on the mom, mom lost custody!

    The judge <u>ordered</u> that this kid NOT have a "myspace" page again! Well, guess what, folks! It's still there! Apparently none of them, including the judge, even bothered to check to make sure it was removed! It's set on "private" but you don't even need to get in to it! The page that comes up shows a picture that makes her looks much older, gives her full real name, and the name of the tiny little town they live in and the state! And now it says she's 15! So anyone, including child molesting predators, can track this kid right down! They have an unusual last name so anyone can get her address and phone number right out of the phone book, even find out where she goes to school because there's only one middle school in their little town!

    I'm sort of out of touch with the schools now, but do they address the dangers of internet postings with the kids? If they don't, they sure should!
  13. TrishaBC

    TrishaBC New Member

    I believe that as a parent we must insist on being in full control of our childrens computer use. difficult child or easy child it makes no difference. There is a few different programs that you can get that will moniter every keystroke made, without anyone but you even knowing it's there.

    Just recently a little girl (11 years old) my difficult child used to go to school with started calling him and asking for his e-mail address. difficult child doesn't have an e-mail address so he gave her mine. I couldn't believe the pictures she sent! She sent five different pictures of herself in a bikini top or a skimpy camisole, as well she was holding her chest area and making kissy lips. I phoned her mother as soon as I saw that, and the sad thing was she didn't sound near as concerned as she should be. This girl is allowed to have a computer in her room, as well as her own unmonitered e-mail address. Scares me to death
  14. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I am SO glad that mine are grown now and that I don't have to worry about all this! The scary thing is, you can take all the precautions, be as vigilant as is humanly possible, monitor them every minute they are on the computer, and they can still do like my friends' daughter did - go to a friends house and post it from there!

    Raising kids is a whole lot more difficult now than it was just a few years ago. I don't envy any of you!
  15. mum2JK&TH

    mum2JK&TH New Member

    What scares me most are the 10 yr olds with webcams in their rooms. One of difficult child's classmates and her friends who have a little thing for difficult child was using it with her msn talking to difficult child. It was creepy. Luckily difficult child finds it boring and went on playing his game and ignoring them, lol!
  16. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Monitoring his computer time and his usage was one of the things my difficult child fought hardest about when he lived here. The SCHOOL let him post personal info on various places ("If the filter lets it through it must be OK" my behindy!).

    The funny thing is that he had more access here than he does at my parents. They have him fully locked out of most things. Of course, he still goes to the University and uses their computers, but we keep finding and erasing his pages. He prefers (or is it never sure until I go check it. Right now he is only posting the sterotypical teenage no-one understands me, I am so deeeep crud. But once in a while it gets to be too much.

    Good Luck with this!