Name Calling

[AmyH]

Has anyone here aver had a teacher call their difficult child a name?

About two months ago Mrs. H called difficult child weird in front of class. We had a meeting with the Principal and Mrs. H and she said "what do you suggest I call him?" Thought it was all handled and yesterday Mrs. W called him a big baby.

I called the school really mad this time and am still waiting on reply. I am so feed up. 504 is not being followed and they are calling him names in front of his peers. Which gives them more ammo to call difficult child names.

This has by far been his worst school year yet

 

[LoneStar14]

I'm at a loss for words...this is just totally unacceptable!!! I would be so livid I wouldn't be able to say a word. That's never happened to us and heaven forbid it ever did. I'm angry right now and it didn't happen to us.

This would be unprofessional and unacceptable with a non-difficult child child. The effects it would have on any child...I gotta stop...need to chill out.

I hope you get better help from others. Support and hugs from me.

 

[crazymama30]

That is not acceptable and I would file a formal complaint, maybe with the school superindentent?

 

[Marguerite]

"What do you suggest I call him?"

Call him by his NAME, Mrs H. Or should I say, "Mrs Inappropriate"?

Marg

 

[Wiped Out]

I would be FURIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As a teacher and a parent this makes me so incredibly sad and angry. I am stunned that any teacher would call students a name!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is so unacceptable. You need to put a complaint in writing and have a conference. After the conference if you are not satisfied I would send the complaint to the superintendent and the school board.

Shame on those teachers!

 

[tinamarie1]

That is just horrible. How about her acting like an adult in the situation? shesh is that too much to ask?
I am sorry you are going through this. I will be interested to see how things are resolved, as it is not too far fetched for one of difficult child's teachers to do the same thing in the future.

 

[nvts]

Hi Amy! I'd make a formal written complaint on all aspects of what's going on.

They're required to follow a 504, so if they're not honoring it, they're going to have to answer.

Name calling by a teacher is psychological abuse and bullying. We all know that there is 0 tolerance for bullying so if you use that in your complaint, you'll probably see some action.

Make sure that your letter is matter of fact. Also, make sure that it goes in certified.

Does he have enough going on that he might require an IEP? This gives you even more legal standing in the Educational Realm!

Let us know how it goes!

Beth

 

[AmyH]

My heart breaks for him. After Mrs. H called him the name and we had the meeting she was better. Her and difficult child signed a contract stating he would use more verbal responses instead of getting so angery and she would not call him weird anymore. I asked at that time he be moved out of her class. The Principal said there was no where else for him to go because of the number of kids in the other classes. I agreed to let him stay in there as long as she kept her comments to herself.

With Mrs. W I was totally shocked my her calling him a name and then again at the fact that she emailed me conformation that she did that. I am waiting to hear from the Principal today. He gets out of school May 16th but I do not want him to have to endure this treatment any longer.

I feel we have taken giant steps back with difficult child this year and I can totally see why. I just want everyone to know I am not teacher bashing. There are some wonderful god given people who are excellent mentors to our children and then there are the ones who are on major burnout and that is where I feel we are here.

 

[AmyH]

Does he have enough going on that he might require an IEP? This gives you even more legal standing in the Educational Realm!

We signed paperwork on Monday to have him tested by the school psychologist. We have been fighting for this for 2 years. Finally, I sent a certified letter to the lead school psy. for the sd. They called me on sunday and we went in to the school on monday to sign.

 

[nvts]

That sounds great!

By the way, you're not going to get a lot of arguments about teacher bashing...we've all dealt with a few real winners in this career we call parenting!

Next time you talk to her, maybe she would agree to difficult child raising his hand politely in class when he has a question and address her in the following manner:

"Excuse me, Mrs. Wackjob-Burntout-NameCaller, I have a question!" (believe me, I've retyped her name about 100 times and this was the cleanest one I came up with - lol!)

Beth

 

[AmyH]

"Excuse me, Mrs. Wackjob-Burntout-NameCaller, I have a question!"

My thoughts exactly! I actually contacted an attorney this morning. This is not a little no name sd we are talking about. This is one of the biggest sd in Oklahoma. I know they have the resources to teach them about ADHD, Bipolar and everything our difficult child's are dealing with.

 

[klmno]

Amy, you are right and we have had similar issues in the past. Make sure you keep copies of emails that confirm the name calling and anything else that isn't kosher. I am learning now that as these add up over time, it can go a long way in proving things later on, too.

 

[AmyH]

Just got a call from the principal! She said that the teachers are going to meet with her and the counselor tomorrow to discuss testing. She then told me that the 504 only says that organization will be done through a daily agenda and not that teachers will fill it out. I told her that in the meeting we were told that the teacher would initial that it was filled out. She also said that she didn't think the peer buddy (as indicated on the 504) would be good because Blake has secluded himself from everyone. Just a thought! If you were being bullied all year would you seclude your self?

I asked her about the name calling and she said we will talk about that because it can intensify his anger. NO @*#^! Excuse me I am just really mad.

She said that writing in the agenda is a behavioral issue and if he won't do it they can't make him. Then asked if the teachers were still emailing me daily about his assignments. What???? That has never, not once, happened!! I get a thursday packet that shows missing work but no explaination of what it is, ie- daily work ( well what is this) "It is just the daily things we assign" They never elaborate.

He can feel that the teachers are against him therefore, he is not working to his potential. Would you? We are very careful at home not to say anything negative about the school, teachers or the situation to or in front of him. We try not to give him any ammo not to like school.

Personally, if I were being treated this way on a daily basis I would not want to be there either and I would not do well in class either!

 

[klmno]

We are currently going through the exact same issues with agenda, assignments, etc. As you already know, you need to find a way to get this in an IEP in order to have more recourse. But, I'm finding that the IEP hassn't stopped school from refusing to comply with it. So, now we are at the question of due process and effect on difficult child and is there another way to solve this- like just getting him out of that school.

Good luck- it seems that the good teachers are helpful whether there is an iep or not and the ones that won't do anything, refuse to comply with the iep anyway.

 

[Marguerite]

We went through similar stuff with difficult child 3 in his first mainstream school. I don't know if teachers ever called him names, because difficult child 3 wasn't good about reporting stuff in detail, but my 'spies' among the kids told us of things happening that shouldn't have. When I reported things to the principal I was told that they hadn't happened. As I had no proof (as in CCTV footage - as if) I had no way to insist on change.

I do know that where teachers are not vigilant or there seems to be a slack attitude through the whole school, problems arise that not even the most dedicated class teacher can totally overturn. You can fight all you want, but how will you ever know if they are compliant? They may start sending you the daily reports you want and fill in the forms, but if your difficult child becomes increasingly silent over what happens in class (as mine did, because if I complained, the teachers lectured him) then how will you know? Can you ever trust them?

We transferred difficult child 3 to a school where bullying was handled much better, but found too many other problems remained that couldn't be resolved, not even with the most supportive enthusiastic teacher in the world, so we pulled him out to do correspondence school from home. He's done much better ever since. He's also done much better socially, because he is free to walk away when kids start being mean. At school you can't get away from them. And a teacher using names only validates the name-calling by kids.

Marg