Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Name calling
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 420746" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Susie, I'm with you on everything except "It doesn't have to be immediate". With difficult child 3 and to a lesser extent with difficult child 1, it DID have to be immediate. If there had been a subsequent period of good behaviour, he often did not remember or connect my refusal to do something nice, with his much earlier behaviour. He really got confused and it added to the behaviour/discipline problems. In our case the school was a huge problem for us because their discipline policy was very much NOT immediate; it could be up to six months after an offence before he had punishment for it, plus they would not tell parents about it until after punishment (detention) was served.</p><p></p><p>I learned we had to make punishments smaller but immediate. Yes, we could at that point make it clear - "I do not go out of my way to do anything special for someone who treats me badly." That message gets through, but only if it is initially pointed out with immediacy.</p><p></p><p>Every kid is different, we need to be ready to adapt to our own personal situation.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 420746, member: 1991"] Susie, I'm with you on everything except "It doesn't have to be immediate". With difficult child 3 and to a lesser extent with difficult child 1, it DID have to be immediate. If there had been a subsequent period of good behaviour, he often did not remember or connect my refusal to do something nice, with his much earlier behaviour. He really got confused and it added to the behaviour/discipline problems. In our case the school was a huge problem for us because their discipline policy was very much NOT immediate; it could be up to six months after an offence before he had punishment for it, plus they would not tell parents about it until after punishment (detention) was served. I learned we had to make punishments smaller but immediate. Yes, we could at that point make it clear - "I do not go out of my way to do anything special for someone who treats me badly." That message gets through, but only if it is initially pointed out with immediacy. Every kid is different, we need to be ready to adapt to our own personal situation. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Name calling
Top