You gals are my strength. Seriously you are my personal al-anon group. If I didn't have you to understand and talk to I would go crazy. There is a bond between those of us who live this nightmare that helps me get through the day.
She texted last night at 9 asking if she could come home after work until 12 because the person she was staying with didn;t get off work til then and she had nowhere to go. I told her no that we were not a rest stop. We texted back and forth and she said she wanted to come home and I reiterated that her lifestyle made that impossible. he said her life was horrible and that she was tired of not knowing where she would be the next hour or where she would sleep. I told her that she had to tools to change that if she wanted it bad enough. She said she didn't want to be on the street anymore and wanted to come home. I asked her what she was willing to do to make that happen and that we could not and would not live with the drinking and drugs and starnge guys and sex and stealing and lying and staying out all night. She said she was done with that and wanted it to be different. I told her if she was coming home to rest up and leave again to not bother, that she was out of the house and we were adapting and we were ok with that. She said no she wanted to come home.
Right or wrong, good or bad idea, I picked her up at 10. We didn't say much in the car, came home and went to bed. Today husband woke her up and talked to her, asking some questions about what she wanted from us and what her plans were and why should we let her stay. He told her if she was staying for the time being to get up and shovel the driveway and help me with taking the tree downand other house chores. She did that and was pleasant the day. She is home now, we rented movies and there is no New Years Eve celebration here, just a quiet night at home.
I asked about the funeral. She said he died in his sleep, the first time he did heroin. His girlfriend, met at rehab, told difficult child that she was suppose to see him that night but she was mad at him because she knew he was going to get drugs. He called her and she didn't answer the phone. Now he's dead. She's having a very difficult time. They told us at rehab that heroin can and does kill people the first time, it's true. I asked about the other rehab friends we got to know, most all of them have relapsed. In fact I only know one who hasn't, the girlfriend of the deceased. Not a very promising statistic. Many of them have moved on to bigger drugs. In some ways I think rehab makes things worse. I know it did for difficult child. She is worse now than she was before she went and she is much more knowledgeable about other drugs now. But she did learn the tools to change if she wants to.
What will happen now I have no idea. As you know it's a roller coaster. I don;t believe she will change. husband and I hope only that we can get her on her own in the least destructive manner.
Thank you for your support, it means more than you know to me. May we all have a more peaceful 2011.
Nancy