Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Suz, Dec 29, 2009.
You're too quiet. Are you in Tahiti, drinking umbrella drinks with Raoul? Hope so!
I wish! I'm in cold and snowy Ohio.
The holidays were fine, as fine as they can be with a difficult child. She was respectful and pleasant. I think she was afraid she wasn't getting any presents so she was happy to see she had some. Yesterday she thought she was going to sleep in until her boyfriend picked her up and go snowboarding all day. She didn't think she had to go job hunting or help take the decorations down. So she left at 1pm and came home at midnight. She did go snowboarding and was home by curfew, but husband explained to her today that she is not on winter vacation, she is unemployed and he expected her to be out looking for a job everyday all day until she got one.
She has her first drug screening for Monday. The fact that it is after a wekend and after New Years is not a coincidence. boyfriend is banned from our house and it's great without him here. He picks her up and they go elsewhere. At least we don't have to put up with them laying around the basement and eating our food all day.
Sunday we had husband's family party and were gone all day. I found out that she gave boyfriend the code to our garage and he came in with the pretense of taking the dog out. He was up in her bedroom and wrote on her computer and I don't know what else he did but we were livid. I felt violated. I don't want him here when we are home, why would I want him here when we aren't. The garage door opener is now disconnected.
So for now things are limping along one day at a time. She thinks she is starting cosmetology school in February. We told her that she will start when she gets a job and saves enough money to help pay for it.
Thanks for asking. We will be driving easy child to NC next week so we will have her in the car for 8 hours of driving and three days together. This should be fun.
Well, actually, this is better than I expected.
EEEeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww about boyfriend in your home when you weren't there. I can totally understand your rage. That is too creepy for words! Good move to disable the garage door.
What is your agreement with her? Job AND school? Job OR school? It sounds like the former but maybe I misunderstood?
Do you have a drop-dead date for her fulfilling the expectation? Consequences if she does not?
Rob was usually pretty good on a trip. Hopefully J will rise to the expectation, too.
The agreement is job and schoo. She can either go to school full time during the day or evenings Monday-Thursday. We prefer she go evenings and work during the day. That will tie up most of her days and will allow her to work to help pay for the tuition. husband told her we would help with the tuition but not pay for it all. She has six months to find a job and start school. If she is not able to do that she has to make arrangements to move out. I am not sure how that will happen, the moving out part. We may end up evicting her. But as long as she is playing by the rules and attempting to find employment I guess we will go along with it for now. The plug can be pulled at any time, e.g. drug test results, behavior at home, etc. Right now she is being somewhat civil and cooperative.
Sounds like a good plan, Nancy.
Fingers crossed that she continues to be somewhat civil and following the plan.
Good luck to easy child. I'll wave as you drive by.
Doesn't sound too horrid. Although I'd have been sorely tempted to press charges on the boyfriend for entering your home when you weren't there.
Hope she continues to cooperate for the most part.
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