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<blockquote data-quote="1 Day At a Time" data-source="post: 367507" data-attributes="member: 3704"><p>Marg,</p><p></p><p>I can completely identify with your situation here. In fact when I read the title of your post, I knew exactly what it would be about. There are simply no two ways about it, Spectrum kids struggle with the subject of English! difficult child gets grammar and the rules, but when you get into creative writing, understanding and expressing feelings - forget about it! I am really touched that the Special Education teacher views it as her responsibility to help the other teachers understand difficult child's educational strengths and weaknesses. We never had that kind of assistance, in fact the school psychologist was very oppositional and combative with us. She didn't like difficult child's neuropsychological evaluation and took every opportunity to criticize it and belittle the findings. It's really odd when you consider that her supervisor, the head of Special Education for the school system referred us to the neuropsychologist who did the evaluation!</p><p></p><p>difficult child's four high school classes were pure torture for us all - including his teachers. The problem was the same that you mention. Each and every one of them thought that difficult child was underachieving, that he was too intelligent to perform so poorly. And worse, that he was being rude and "thumbing" his nose at them. (Compare this with the math teachers who always LOVED him!). Our difficult child has a completely flat affect. He doesn't smile, and he doesn't understand the facial expressions of others. The neuropsychologist said that he took the longest time of anyone he's ever tested to decode photographs of facial expressions. Sometimes, I think this flat affect can come across as rudeness. </p><p></p><p>Consider it this way, if you were plopped down into a foreign country and expected to write essays about your experience there, in the other language, how would you do? It would be difficult, bewildering, and some people would just "give up". Of course, the world of emotions, motivations, and themes in literature are that way for our difficult child. No matter how much this was explained to his English teachers, they just thought he was slacking and didn't want to do the work. He hates writing, doesn't see the need for drafts (because he hates writing so much), and tries his best. (I'm convinced of this).</p><p></p><p>I can really understand where he is , because I took a Biology course in college that threw me for a loop. I NEVER understood what was going on in there. I tried my best, but, it made me change my major from Biology. I realize now that the instructor's method of coming in the class and lecturing for one hour without a stop was not a good one for me. Now I know better!</p><p></p><p>I really felt this way about the instruction that difficult child received and I still do. Don't get me wrong, I love and respect teachers - all teachers.They have an extremely difficult job.But, even the most gifted of them cannot be all things to all students! Our difficult child needed a radically different type of instructional method because he was years and years behind his peers in the interpretation of emotions. Instead of believing what a trained neuropsychologist had to say about this, they choose to say difficult child wasn't trying. Without husband's and my constant hours of assistance for difficult child, he would have never made it through. (Interestingly, his college English courses have gone much better - I don't think his reputation preceeded him there!)</p><p></p><p>Of course, no student is helped when someone else does their work for them. Marg, you have repeatedly shown this school your commitment - both to the school and difficult child's educational success. You, of all people, would never jeopardize that! Any person who carefully examined the situation would see that. So the question remains, why would this accusation be made? What would be gained here? I would examine that very carefully. I have learned in my life that many people don't look at the "big picture", and I have always had the misfortune of being a "big picture" thinker. I would assume that any teacher would desire the success of their students - all of them. Why else enter the field? I taught for several years and found that I developed a strong bond with my students. I just can't imagine doing otherwise.</p><p></p><p>I apologize for the rambling thoughts here, but this issue has been bothering me for years now. It seems to me the point of school is to prepare students for their adult life. I loved my English classes, I enjoyed writing, and my job requires me to write reports and decisions 3/4 of my working day. I definitely "needed' those courses. difficult child doesn't "get" or enjoy literature. He is obsessed with math, computers, and computer science. There is no question about this, he will not be writing as I do for a living. But, he will need to have a basic understanding of the process. Why not help him get what he needs, rather than insisting he reach some cookie cutter goal? </p><p></p><p>I say all of this to say that I think this teacher loves her subject so much she has a inflated sense of its importance. The importance should be judged by the importance to her students, not herself. Some teachers also prefer for students to have no "outside" assistance with their work. Of course, no one should do the student's work for them. But help? Oh yes, any and all help should be offered - especially for the student who is struggling.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there Marg, you're fighting the good fight for difficult child and those who come after him!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="1 Day At a Time, post: 367507, member: 3704"] Marg, I can completely identify with your situation here. In fact when I read the title of your post, I knew exactly what it would be about. There are simply no two ways about it, Spectrum kids struggle with the subject of English! difficult child gets grammar and the rules, but when you get into creative writing, understanding and expressing feelings - forget about it! I am really touched that the Special Education teacher views it as her responsibility to help the other teachers understand difficult child's educational strengths and weaknesses. We never had that kind of assistance, in fact the school psychologist was very oppositional and combative with us. She didn't like difficult child's neuropsychological evaluation and took every opportunity to criticize it and belittle the findings. It's really odd when you consider that her supervisor, the head of Special Education for the school system referred us to the neuropsychologist who did the evaluation! difficult child's four high school classes were pure torture for us all - including his teachers. The problem was the same that you mention. Each and every one of them thought that difficult child was underachieving, that he was too intelligent to perform so poorly. And worse, that he was being rude and "thumbing" his nose at them. (Compare this with the math teachers who always LOVED him!). Our difficult child has a completely flat affect. He doesn't smile, and he doesn't understand the facial expressions of others. The neuropsychologist said that he took the longest time of anyone he's ever tested to decode photographs of facial expressions. Sometimes, I think this flat affect can come across as rudeness. Consider it this way, if you were plopped down into a foreign country and expected to write essays about your experience there, in the other language, how would you do? It would be difficult, bewildering, and some people would just "give up". Of course, the world of emotions, motivations, and themes in literature are that way for our difficult child. No matter how much this was explained to his English teachers, they just thought he was slacking and didn't want to do the work. He hates writing, doesn't see the need for drafts (because he hates writing so much), and tries his best. (I'm convinced of this). I can really understand where he is , because I took a Biology course in college that threw me for a loop. I NEVER understood what was going on in there. I tried my best, but, it made me change my major from Biology. I realize now that the instructor's method of coming in the class and lecturing for one hour without a stop was not a good one for me. Now I know better! I really felt this way about the instruction that difficult child received and I still do. Don't get me wrong, I love and respect teachers - all teachers.They have an extremely difficult job.But, even the most gifted of them cannot be all things to all students! Our difficult child needed a radically different type of instructional method because he was years and years behind his peers in the interpretation of emotions. Instead of believing what a trained neuropsychologist had to say about this, they choose to say difficult child wasn't trying. Without husband's and my constant hours of assistance for difficult child, he would have never made it through. (Interestingly, his college English courses have gone much better - I don't think his reputation preceeded him there!) Of course, no student is helped when someone else does their work for them. Marg, you have repeatedly shown this school your commitment - both to the school and difficult child's educational success. You, of all people, would never jeopardize that! Any person who carefully examined the situation would see that. So the question remains, why would this accusation be made? What would be gained here? I would examine that very carefully. I have learned in my life that many people don't look at the "big picture", and I have always had the misfortune of being a "big picture" thinker. I would assume that any teacher would desire the success of their students - all of them. Why else enter the field? I taught for several years and found that I developed a strong bond with my students. I just can't imagine doing otherwise. I apologize for the rambling thoughts here, but this issue has been bothering me for years now. It seems to me the point of school is to prepare students for their adult life. I loved my English classes, I enjoyed writing, and my job requires me to write reports and decisions 3/4 of my working day. I definitely "needed' those courses. difficult child doesn't "get" or enjoy literature. He is obsessed with math, computers, and computer science. There is no question about this, he will not be writing as I do for a living. But, he will need to have a basic understanding of the process. Why not help him get what he needs, rather than insisting he reach some cookie cutter goal? I say all of this to say that I think this teacher loves her subject so much she has a inflated sense of its importance. The importance should be judged by the importance to her students, not herself. Some teachers also prefer for students to have no "outside" assistance with their work. Of course, no one should do the student's work for them. But help? Oh yes, any and all help should be offered - especially for the student who is struggling. Hang in there Marg, you're fighting the good fight for difficult child and those who come after him! [/QUOTE]
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