nasty night.....things have been so good but

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Jan 31, 2013.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    All of a sudden tonight he is awful. He started poking a teacher aide at school but was not mad or upset he said he just couldn't stop. Then he acted OK ....was fine all night but is worried his new tablet isn't working. I said ill check it. He pounds walls and says just believe me and get another one ...blah blah then I say we are done talking so he comes and traps me on my bed and I told him to get off and kind of pushed him towards the side and he slapped my arm. Ripped all the covers off my bed and I said get out or I call 911 and by coincidence sirens and lights come by. Of course hes swearing the whole time.

    Now he is all worried he won't get money for Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) tomorrow (duh, he won't ) so is going between "how can I earn it" and you'll give me money or you're going down kinds of threats. As if that's ever worked even once. He gets pbj and a wave when he goes out with his Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) workers after scenes like that. Bummer. Haven't had a scene like that for a long time.
     
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Ugh. Is he coming down with something?
     
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Could be....I never know till later.
     
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I really hate it when he is like that. Now he's being himself but I feel like I don't want to even talk to him. It's hard to switch into nurture mode after such abusive behavior.
     
  5. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sorry Buddy, that's gotta be rough. I have no real experience like that, but I'm reading your posts and sending you hugs and compassionate thoughts......:consoling:
     
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Thank you. He's calling out good night and I am ignoring him. I said goodnight once and now he's just doing it because he wants to look like he's being kind and he's trying to see if he can get his money tomorrow. I said if he keeps asking he won't get any Monday either. He finally stopped. I know it's mean but if I engage him in the mood I'm in, it wouldn't be a good mommy moment.
     
  7. TeDo

    TeDo CD Hall of Fame

    Do you think the medication thing the other day has anything to do with it, delayed reaction? Just the first thought that popped into my head. Sorry it's been so rough. Wouldn't it be nice if we could switch gears as quickly as they can sometimes. But then again, when they get stuck, I'm glad I don't.

    {{{{HUGS}}}}
     
  8. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I did think that. He missed two seizure doses and two lithium. He's had them all since Tues morning though. So? I don't know. I am just not as emotionally prepared when its been a while like this. No bruises left but inside I feel bruised. Twenty minutes later he's asking for super bowl pizza ...remember how fun that was last year mom. Let's do that again.

    I said no. Why? You tell me.
    Well I will be good now.
    Ugggg
     
  9. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Hi buddy. Yes, of course, your feelings are totally natural. Inevitable, really. The fact, though, that this kind of incident has become unusual is heartening. What do you attribute that too?
    Many hugs.
     
  10. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Ugh. So sorry Buddy. It would be so much easier to be able to see into their brains to see what is going on. I also was wondering if he was coming sown with a cold or something. I know difficult child tends to have more outbursts when she is not feeling well. (Not that it excuses the behavior of course.) Hope today is a better day. Hugs to your bruised mommy heart.
     
  11. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    That is so true and I know exactly how you feel when you say that. You get yelled and screamed at, called all kinds of horrible names, and then they want to be nurtured and told how much they're loved. It's exhausting.

    I hope that today is a better day for both of you. How was he this morning?
     
  12. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Malika, I think his huge growth surge has calmed(though he gained more weight over the holidays but seems to even say he's not hungry sometimes)......Mostly I think the combination of things like school and Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) being routine /stable home being settled (still worries about noises and bad guys at night) and the zyprexa makes a big difference.

    He didn't take his medications last Mon and when that happened week two of school he ended up restrained. This time he kept telling them that his body felt weird and said he couldn't stop moving .....but no incidents. Just totally unable to do anything. That's huge.

    He screamed out last night for me in a panic.....Mom. HELP HELP.....I don't know what dream he was having but I told him he was fine and to go to sleep. He won't remember a thing. Anxiety.

    I'm not as mad this morning but it's a cold cereal day!

    He's not awake yet ......we'll see............
     
  13. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I hope today is a better day Buddy. I'm sorry about last night................you're such a wonderful mother, you have an enormous well of patience and love for Q. (((HUGS)))
     
  14. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Very interesting morning. He got up with zero prompts, did ask where his real breakfast was (LOL) and when told it was a cold cereal day he asked for toast, I said sure...make it.

    He got ready and just in the background said things like I can't wait for fun tonight with Integrated Listening Systems (ILS)...(hoping I'd comment yeah, it will be a blast....he was fishing to see if I'd changed my mind about no money) . by the way he HAS money. He just wants to not have to spend it. Good grief. Does not get that that is how I feel too!

    So, he did all his tasks with no prompts and went to school without a negative word. VERY INTERESTING......
     
  15. paperplate

    paperplate New Member

    Sounds familiar, my son has epilepsy & Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) as well. Our epilepsy is genetic. I'm hoping it does not rear its ugly head with my other kids. Seriously, I'd lose it completely! DS 13 has similar behavior patterns, minus the poking or hitting. Knock on wood he doesn't start. But he has thrown things. Especially after a grand mal. That's usually how I know whether he had a seizure the night before. His mood shifts TERRIBLY! And his sensory seizures produce voices in his head and he thinks someone is talking to him in his room. Actually it's just a misfire in the brain replaying moments from earlier in the day, but it scares him half to death! Just remember this, he snaps at you because he TRUSTS you. YOU are safe to him. So when he vents, you will take the brunt. He knows no matter what he does, mom will love him anyway. When I look at it from that perspective...it's not as hard to live with. Take care of yourself.
     
  16. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Paper (I was going to shorten you to PP but it sounded like pee pee and I just couldn't, lol), Thanks for that. Yes, I agree, he does go after me harder these days because he knows I am here. Though I did tell him a few months ago that I will always be his mom but he is so big now and I will not live in an unsafe home. So, if I can't help him stay safe he will have to live somewhere else. He has actually done much better since then even though I felt like I had been abusive saying such an awful thing.

    Quin's seizures following his brain surgery at age 2 have been only a couple of partial complex and simple (or even not considered seizures though they can see the activity on the eeg).

    He started saying he felt "fake" and the doctors thought it was depersonalization/derealization due to anxiety even though he had this brain trauma history and seizure history. uggg.

    So for years and even after an inpatient evaluation at a world known seizure unit they said no seizures. Then we got hooked with a specialty childrens hospital for chronic disorders and at their clinic they really listened to him. He finally was asking if he had to die to get rid of that feeling. It was so sad.

    The docs there added temporal leads and found he was having seizures all day and all night. ongoing. They woke him at night and he didn't even realize it, nor did I because he would fall back to sleep. It was normal for him.

    So they start on the right but go to the left temporal lobes which is why he felt "fake". Things looked very strange to him even though he know they were real, they just looked so strange. Hard for a child to describe and it turns out that is the wording many adults even use.

    Thank heaven we know for sure now but I too see the pattern. Especially if he seems really moody/angry out of sorts out of the blue, like when he wakes or in the middle of a really good time. Then many times he will have a headache and get sleepy. Since adding Lyrica the post seizure headaches are almost all gone. Thank heaven again.

    Its really hard because their view of the world is based on these feelings and yet they can't possibly understand fully that it is not their true feelings. So a layer of true behavioral stuff gets put on it. It really gets exhausting to sort out.
     
  17. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    I'm glad to hear that he had a better morning. I'm hoping that you both have a decent weekend.
     
  18. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'm glad he's doing better today, and so sorry you went through that. Ugh,.
    You do such a good job with him. Bravo.
    {{hugs}}
     
  19. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I'm so glad you had a good morning and hope that more of them are in your future. (((HUGS))) -RM
     
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