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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 112752" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Lisa,</p><p> I admire your acceptance of your children, I really do but there is just something I don't get. Mature 18yr olds rarely make decisions that are wise let alone life long. She is ill prepared for adult life at this point. She has never held a job or worked out relationship behavior for a woman who will live with another adult who isn't her mother. </p><p> On the other side, a male at 18 is still in the midst of becoming an adult. He won't have any adult relationship skills either. They still play jealousy games and erupt with moodiness. </p><p> Doesn't this look like a set up for dysfunction and misery? Wouldn't focusing on an education and job and birth control while learning to live independently on her own before living with someone else be a better way to go? Can she live on her own? Would she?</p><p> Now I know well that difficult child's don't take suggestions very well but it does seem she wants to have someone to depend on and maybe that is her reality. She may never be able to live without some other adult in her life. I just see this as 10 yrs of fighting, no money, resentment and dysfunction. Why leap in with both feet. </p><p></p><p> I wouldn't ask these questions of most members but you know I have a great deal of respect for you. I'm asking questions I would be asking myself if I were in your shoes. I don't mean to offend but maybe it will just give a different spin even if Nicole does exactly as she has planned. I don't understand how she can move in with anyone if she has no income? no track record of good decision making(J being a case in point)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 112752, member: 3"] Lisa, I admire your acceptance of your children, I really do but there is just something I don't get. Mature 18yr olds rarely make decisions that are wise let alone life long. She is ill prepared for adult life at this point. She has never held a job or worked out relationship behavior for a woman who will live with another adult who isn't her mother. On the other side, a male at 18 is still in the midst of becoming an adult. He won't have any adult relationship skills either. They still play jealousy games and erupt with moodiness. Doesn't this look like a set up for dysfunction and misery? Wouldn't focusing on an education and job and birth control while learning to live independently on her own before living with someone else be a better way to go? Can she live on her own? Would she? Now I know well that difficult child's don't take suggestions very well but it does seem she wants to have someone to depend on and maybe that is her reality. She may never be able to live without some other adult in her life. I just see this as 10 yrs of fighting, no money, resentment and dysfunction. Why leap in with both feet. I wouldn't ask these questions of most members but you know I have a great deal of respect for you. I'm asking questions I would be asking myself if I were in your shoes. I don't mean to offend but maybe it will just give a different spin even if Nicole does exactly as she has planned. I don't understand how she can move in with anyone if she has no income? no track record of good decision making(J being a case in point) [/QUOTE]
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