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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 112827" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Fran</p><p></p><p>I always value your opinions.</p><p></p><p>I so agree Nichole is ill prepared for adult life at this point. She can't drive, has never held a job, and has no skills.</p><p></p><p>But things are getting out of hand around here. She's sliding backward into the teen kid role, instead of moving forward into the adult/parent role. I've even been having to nag her to watch/care for the baby.</p><p></p><p>The last thing I want is for her to move in with b/f at this point. Their "relationship" is too volitile, abusive, and dependent/enabler/codependent. Not healthy for either boyfriend or Nichole.</p><p></p><p>I do put a strong emphasis on education. But I'm worried about this new backslide into trying to be a kid. Example: She sees no reason to get her license because she expects the family and boyfriend to drive her where she needs to go. </p><p></p><p>Nichole is starting to feel majorly entitled of late. And she's not above using the baby as leverage to get what she wants, whether with boyfriend or with the family in general. (works more on boyfriend)</p><p></p><p>So I'm thinking it's about time to start some life lessons on indepedence. Not anything super huge. Just some baby steps toward self suffiency. Like motivating her for that license, the weekend job thing. Heck, I'm even having to battle her on learning to cook.</p><p></p><p>Nichole is terrified of living alone. Heck, she still has issues with being in our home alone. So I don't know at this point if I'll ever get her past this life long anxiety. But I've got to try.</p><p></p><p>The problem is that she is so very much like me. Almost an exact duplicate. Except she didn't have my childhood to mature her by this stage in life. I understand her fears ect because they were once my own. And I know that if she isn't pushed (even kicking and screaming) she'll never gain any form of independence for herself.</p><p></p><p>I believe I made a grave mistake back when she was 16 and pregnant with Aubrey. I tried to support her by focusing solely on school/becoming a good mother. I thought holding off on the driving and job was a good idea at the time. I really think that was so wrong. Because of the pregnancy, I should have really pushed the driving and the job part too. Because like I was, each year that passes without her doing it is only making the anxiety over it worse and the fear greater. Plus her being homeschooled during that time also kept her isolated, her only social life being boyfriend.</p><p></p><p>Lovely when hindsight is 20/20. :rolleyes:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 112827, member: 84"] Fran I always value your opinions. I so agree Nichole is ill prepared for adult life at this point. She can't drive, has never held a job, and has no skills. But things are getting out of hand around here. She's sliding backward into the teen kid role, instead of moving forward into the adult/parent role. I've even been having to nag her to watch/care for the baby. The last thing I want is for her to move in with b/f at this point. Their "relationship" is too volitile, abusive, and dependent/enabler/codependent. Not healthy for either boyfriend or Nichole. I do put a strong emphasis on education. But I'm worried about this new backslide into trying to be a kid. Example: She sees no reason to get her license because she expects the family and boyfriend to drive her where she needs to go. Nichole is starting to feel majorly entitled of late. And she's not above using the baby as leverage to get what she wants, whether with boyfriend or with the family in general. (works more on boyfriend) So I'm thinking it's about time to start some life lessons on indepedence. Not anything super huge. Just some baby steps toward self suffiency. Like motivating her for that license, the weekend job thing. Heck, I'm even having to battle her on learning to cook. Nichole is terrified of living alone. Heck, she still has issues with being in our home alone. So I don't know at this point if I'll ever get her past this life long anxiety. But I've got to try. The problem is that she is so very much like me. Almost an exact duplicate. Except she didn't have my childhood to mature her by this stage in life. I understand her fears ect because they were once my own. And I know that if she isn't pushed (even kicking and screaming) she'll never gain any form of independence for herself. I believe I made a grave mistake back when she was 16 and pregnant with Aubrey. I tried to support her by focusing solely on school/becoming a good mother. I thought holding off on the driving and job was a good idea at the time. I really think that was so wrong. Because of the pregnancy, I should have really pushed the driving and the job part too. Because like I was, each year that passes without her doing it is only making the anxiety over it worse and the fear greater. Plus her being homeschooled during that time also kept her isolated, her only social life being boyfriend. Lovely when hindsight is 20/20. [img]:rolleyes:[/img] [/QUOTE]
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