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Nature or nurture
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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 696658" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>Interesting thoughts.</p><p></p><p>You all know about Bill's eldest, who really isn't part of the family. DNA marks him, but he's basically lazy and thinks the world owes him. Even Belle says as much. We know he was smoking pot, and suspect other drugs. But Bill didn't see him from age 6 months to age 15, then not again till age 18. Not much time for influence. He's now 23.</p><p></p><p>Then there is Belle, who is a hard worker and has gotten her act together. But she was very, very violent, drugs and alcohol, etc. like her mother. But then... She no longer acts entitled (though she certainly is getting a lot of things just landing in her lap... I'd be jealous if I didn't see how hard she is working to keep them).</p><p></p><p>Pat... Who arguably has the most to overcome developmentally... Is turning out to be very much like Bill's eldest. We had the most time with him. And in the last 2 years it was like a switch was flipped.</p><p></p><p>And then Rose. Who is opinionated and demanding, wild and crazy and so smart she scares all of us. And SO VERY loving and giving and polite and well-mannered. Time will tell, but Bill says that her manipulation of others compared to Belle at that age is similar, but tempered by that giving attitude.</p><p></p><p>These four have Bill in common and Pat and Belle have him AND biomom in common. Two more different kids... You couldn't imagine from the same family.</p><p></p><p>So then. We know the eldest's mother told him a lot of stories. Some of which had a grain of truth, some were one-sided, and some were flat out fiction (she never even MET me, so I am not sure how she knew anything about me).</p><p></p><p>We know Belle & Pat's biomom had issues, and could be violent, and lied to the kids like crazy about us.</p><p></p><p>And I have had several people tell me Rose acts much like I do, and that comes from her watching me.</p><p></p><p>I think I have to say that... Nature puts the capability for certain traits out there, but the switches to turn them on and off are flipped pretty early in life by nurture. Trauma further compounds any issues.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 696658, member: 6705"] Interesting thoughts. You all know about Bill's eldest, who really isn't part of the family. DNA marks him, but he's basically lazy and thinks the world owes him. Even Belle says as much. We know he was smoking pot, and suspect other drugs. But Bill didn't see him from age 6 months to age 15, then not again till age 18. Not much time for influence. He's now 23. Then there is Belle, who is a hard worker and has gotten her act together. But she was very, very violent, drugs and alcohol, etc. like her mother. But then... She no longer acts entitled (though she certainly is getting a lot of things just landing in her lap... I'd be jealous if I didn't see how hard she is working to keep them). Pat... Who arguably has the most to overcome developmentally... Is turning out to be very much like Bill's eldest. We had the most time with him. And in the last 2 years it was like a switch was flipped. And then Rose. Who is opinionated and demanding, wild and crazy and so smart she scares all of us. And SO VERY loving and giving and polite and well-mannered. Time will tell, but Bill says that her manipulation of others compared to Belle at that age is similar, but tempered by that giving attitude. These four have Bill in common and Pat and Belle have him AND biomom in common. Two more different kids... You couldn't imagine from the same family. So then. We know the eldest's mother told him a lot of stories. Some of which had a grain of truth, some were one-sided, and some were flat out fiction (she never even MET me, so I am not sure how she knew anything about me). We know Belle & Pat's biomom had issues, and could be violent, and lied to the kids like crazy about us. And I have had several people tell me Rose acts much like I do, and that comes from her watching me. I think I have to say that... Nature puts the capability for certain traits out there, but the switches to turn them on and off are flipped pretty early in life by nurture. Trauma further compounds any issues. [/QUOTE]
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