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Substance Abuse
Need a Little Advice from Those Who Have been there done that
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 608081" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Petunia, there will likely be others along who are more knowledgeable about these issues then I am, however I just wanted you to know I read your post. I can certainly understand the impact this has had on you and why you would feel the way you do. Although I agree that on some higher plane of existence this kind of stuff shouldn't bother us, what others think and say.............. but of course, it does..............I think our own guilt or shame or belief we have some responsibility for our difficult child's actions makes this a lot worse...........</p><p></p><p>Perhaps the article on detachment at the bottom of my post will offer you some useful information.</p><p></p><p>It sounds to me as if you've done all the appropriate and caring things for your son and now it is necessary to let go and allow him to suffer the natural consequences of his actions. Not so easy for us parents to do, I completely get that having my own difficult child. </p><p></p><p>I live in a small town where my daughter went to school and many people know us. When I am confronted with questions about difficult child I have a standard line I say and then I drop it. I say, "yes, my daughter is still struggling." And then, "oh gee, look at the time, I have to run." End of story. In my head I repeat the line, "what they think of me is none of my business." Like many things about living in difficult child land, it's all a practice as we learn the ropes of detachment. Sigh. </p><p></p><p>The good thing is that stories fade quickly as the next hot topic emerges, so this intensity will go away in a bit.</p><p></p><p>If your son has to spend time in jail, as many of us can attest, you will likely feel better, you know where he is, he is safe and warm and eating.</p><p></p><p>This is a tough road, I'm glad you're here with us warrior parents...........keep posting, it helps. Find some support system for yourself and your family, difficult child's do harm to us with their antics and we need a lot of support too. Wishing you peace of mind.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 608081, member: 13542"] Petunia, there will likely be others along who are more knowledgeable about these issues then I am, however I just wanted you to know I read your post. I can certainly understand the impact this has had on you and why you would feel the way you do. Although I agree that on some higher plane of existence this kind of stuff shouldn't bother us, what others think and say.............. but of course, it does..............I think our own guilt or shame or belief we have some responsibility for our difficult child's actions makes this a lot worse........... Perhaps the article on detachment at the bottom of my post will offer you some useful information. It sounds to me as if you've done all the appropriate and caring things for your son and now it is necessary to let go and allow him to suffer the natural consequences of his actions. Not so easy for us parents to do, I completely get that having my own difficult child. I live in a small town where my daughter went to school and many people know us. When I am confronted with questions about difficult child I have a standard line I say and then I drop it. I say, "yes, my daughter is still struggling." And then, "oh gee, look at the time, I have to run." End of story. In my head I repeat the line, "what they think of me is none of my business." Like many things about living in difficult child land, it's all a practice as we learn the ropes of detachment. Sigh. The good thing is that stories fade quickly as the next hot topic emerges, so this intensity will go away in a bit. If your son has to spend time in jail, as many of us can attest, you will likely feel better, you know where he is, he is safe and warm and eating. This is a tough road, I'm glad you're here with us warrior parents...........keep posting, it helps. Find some support system for yourself and your family, difficult child's do harm to us with their antics and we need a lot of support too. Wishing you peace of mind. [/QUOTE]
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