Need a little board strength, por favor.

[totoro]

We were told yesterday we had to be out of house by January 15th. Good thing we didn't make big plans for Thanksgiving or Christmas of New Years.
The landlord sold his other house and is moving back in.
I sat and cried yesterday and felt sorry for my family.

husband is so stressed, he is struggling with work. Our house has been on the market for 2 years up in Idaho. We don't want to touch the 2nd mortgage in case we can't get what we owe.
We only left it because of K, but it was the right decision.
The medical bills are killing us.

K smashed a snow globe yesterday and cut herself up. We had to remove any thing that she could hurt herself with in her room. She has been trying to hurt me more.
N is so anxious, she is afraid to be away from me. I found her in the bathroom just sobbing, she was shaking she was scared to go the bathroom.
She wouldn't even go with her grandparents on thursday so that we could go to psychiatrist.
She doesn't want to leave K or me.

Dexter is her source of comfort thank goodness.

husband's Arthritis is really bad in his back.

On and on it feels like.
In-laws gave us the "You just have to be positive", I snapped at them, "You know what, we have been positive! We are positive! Things just svck, they have svcked for years and never feel like we move forward despite us trying and begging for help for K..."
"Nothing else matters except those kids yet it feels like we can ever do enough!"
We just can't help her find stability. I hope the medications start working soon. I know we have a bit for the Lamictal to work...

They had nothing to say after that.

I just feel lost...

I know we will get through this, I just am so frustrated it is at this time of year. I feel so bad for the girls. We will be moving during Christmas.

i just hope we can find a place to live, please send out a prayer, positive Ju-Ju or whatever you can that we can find something soon... and that I can stay sane through all of this.
I needed a break prior to this. I am so tired.

 

[DaisyFace]

Totoro--

((((hugs))))

I hear you! I don't have any answers for you (I wish I did!!) but I hear you!!!

Sometimes it feels as though we get more than our fair share of burdens....and then when others tell us to "think positive"--it implies that somehow we are experiencing these troubles because we are not 'happy enough". Hogwash!!!

I hope something positive comes along for you soon...

--DaisyFace

 

[Andy]

I am so sorry! Like you said, this is the worst time to receive a two month notice! I will pray for you and your family. I know that you will stay positive with the girls. You do have a right and need to let it out somehow - don't keep it bottled up - so when the girls are out of hearing, let loose.

You have a challenge this holiday season! I hope you find the answer soon!

 

[gcvmom]

Hopefully you'll find a suitable place to stay soon. I've noticed a lot of lease and rental signs in our area right now. One thing I noticed is that there are a TON of vacant apartments. I hate to say this, but I think that a lot of immigrants from the south have packed up and gone back home since the economy has tanked so badly, and that's why there are so many apartment vacancies. So maybe if this is true in your area as well you can find a good deal on a unit that the landlord is anxious to fill! Afterall, an empty unit collects no rent for them, and they have bills to pay, too. There may be extra incentives now to motivate potential renters.

Not trying to diminish any aspect of the garbage you're dealing with, but you have come a long way with K and her school setting, right? That at least is one very positive situation going in her favor.

I'm sorry N is such a mess right now on top of K continuing to do poorly. I sure hope the medication combo works this time, and SOON!

(((Hugs)))

 

[klmno]

Oh wow. I'm sorry- this really does hoover. I'm keeping fingers crossed that you find something suitable and can still have a decent Christmas. You already had so many stressors- I really hurt for you. ((HUGS))

 

[Shari]

Its hard to be positive all the time when you're fighting the pull of the hoover dam...

FWIW, I think you do well at it, tho.

Sending good vibes for things to fall into place for you.

And a hug.

 

[totoro]

Thanks you guys!!
I know it isn't the end of the world... I know so many others have it so much worse.
I do appreciate all of the good things we have.
K is doing OK in School only because of her services, she keeps hurting other kids and is barely getting through the day, but the staff and everyone there is so understanding and genuinely cares, which I just floors me.

Her psychiatrist is great as well as her therapist.
It just seems like she is getting worse... her Mental Illness in general. She sat in the corner the other night and sobbed, telling me how she hated having BiPolar (BP), how she wished we didn't have her, how she knew we weren't living like parents should be because we have to spend so much time helping her.
How she will never be normal or have friends because she has such bad Bipolar...
It just ripped my heart out. She asked me why we didn't help her right when she was born? How come we didn't know she was BiPolar (BP)?
She said she just knows all of these things, she just feels them...
I explained to her that I have BiPolar (BP), that many wonderful loving beautiful people do as well.
I would never change a thing... all of things any of us would say.
But it still hurt so much.

I know things will get better, but right now it hurts.

 

[witzend]

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I know those are just words, but I hope that they will give you some comfort. But moreso, I hope something will change for the better you.

 

[flutterby]

Oh, T, I'm so sorry. That's what worries me about renting - the unpredictability.

The one good thing about this dismal economy - for renters, anyway - is that there are a lot more available homes to rent than before. A lot of homes that foreclosed were bought by investors for rental income.

It's crummy, crummy timing. And it breaks my heart to hear how K and N are struggling so much.

I am sending mega good thoughts that you find a new home and that your house in Idaho sells, and that the Lamictal starts working for K soon.

(((hugs)))

 

[hearts and roses]

{{{TOTORO}}} I'm so sorry - what a crummy time of year to have to move, with everything else, I'm just so sorry.

You are strong and I know you will do well to keep your family safe and find another place to live, no question. But it still stinks that you have to do it at all. Hugs~

 

[DDD]

Sending supportive thoughts and cyber hugs your way. Hoping that something wonderful pops up to turn the negative into a positive. DDD

 

[Star*]

Ah Senora~

What could I say to comfort you? I thought of many things. Mostly that his shoes are too tight and his heart is 10 sizes too small, he wears a red stocking cap, his skin is green and furry, and I'd be watching to make sure he doesn't tie and antler to your new dogs head. (how did Stang say it?) I'd like to put him in a box and shake it until his teeth fall out. But that was too good for him. He needs that house more than you do doesn't he. Poor man. He must to have to come tell a lovely woman with two beautiful children to move at Christmas time.

If there is something comforting to tell you in all of this it's that after moving 44 times in 11 years and hating every single move, and becoming and expert packer - I can honestly say that with every move came something better that I never expected. Recently when Dude was looking at being homeless I tried to tell him the same thing. His choices were move to the park, or move in with us. He didn't want to do either. He wanted to stay where he was. It was comfortable. The unknown is rarely comforting. I told him that despite his faith or lack of it - I would continue to keep him in my prayers and expect good things for him.

I will also continue to do the same thing for you and my little Princesses. Wherever you land - there you are. However odd it may seem now? I think maybe you're a free enough spirit to get that it's where you're supposed to be for the next batch of help or to be the next help to someone else. We just don't get to pick and choose this stuff. Had I not moved all those times? I wouldn't have lived the life I did and have the experiences I do now. It was never about what I wanted - it was about what I needed to be me. Maybe this is the same thing that's going on for K & N. We just get frustrated because we can't see the big picture.

So, that said - and good thoughts coming your way - I'm going to keep positive thoughts and hopes rolling your way if it takes every bit of donkey loving power I have and just blast something great to Arizona....because I think you need it now. And.......NOW......and .........NOW.......and (phew) are you getting anything? I'm pooped. (NOW) - had one more in me....lol

Better days are on the horizon......better house, better school, better everything. When the tree stops talking - it's time to move on. I have the fairies K....It's okay - they're safe. N...I also have the doughnuts....they're delicious. Did you know donkeys LOVE doughnuts. I thought they just ate poptarts!!

Love Star

 

[ML]

I feel strongly that this move is going to be a blessing in disguise. My intuition is heighted right now and I just know if you can push through the hassle of moving over the holidays that you will settle into a routine that brings positive things you can't even imagine. Hugs to you xo ML

 

[totoro]

Thank you all so much from my heart!!!
We will stay at the same school, K and N need this.
I agree Star* it is not the move so much, I actually kind of relish the purging and the excitement.
I have always been sort of a free spirit in that aspect.
It is the upheaval of K and N mostly. The last move was hard on N.
It costs a lot as we all know.
But I love to donate and that I will do when I purge!!! Shoot maybe we will find one for less rent???
I agree that maybe this will be a blessing...
We have been driving around scouting out some already. This week we hope to have one picked out.

 

[Fran]

It seems unfair when one is dealing with such gut wrenching issues as a difficult child that there isn't a break in other life issues. I hope that things start to work out with housing and husband feeling better.
Hugs.

 

[mrscatinthehat]

Sending good thoughts that you find just the right house for right now.

 

[Star*]

Well then? THAT said said....I THINK With YOUR positive attitude and purging abilities, not to mention your phenominal scouting skills you WILL BE SUCCESSFUL in finding a place that is 100 times more suited to K & N's needs. I think this will more of an inconvenience than anything and as far as K & N? Let us know what we can do to help.

Do you think a treasure map maybe with clues sent once a week to the girls that they could put on a map or a chart that or a gigantic puzzle? I would do that. If it would help - anything. If you find a house and think they are apprehensive about it - send me some interesting things about the house - Barkleigh was a stroke of luck - but you know I'll do anything I can to help the transition. Let me know. I'm here for you toto.

 

[KTMom91]

Sending good thoughts, lots of prayers, and many hugs for you and the girls.

 

[Wiped Out]

(((hugs))) Adding in my prayers.

 

[Hound dog]

Saying prayers, sending good ju-ju, sending good vibes, crossing body parts.

((((hugs))))