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Need a "Pep Talk"
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 300114" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>It sounds like she has some "favorite" clothing items, since she is seeking them out in the dirty laundry. Have you considered perhaps buying more than one of the same shirt/pants/etc. that she likes so that there is a backup when one is dirty? I know that sounds a little ridiculous, but sometimes we have to come up with a creative solution that is a little outside the bounds of what we consider "normal" -- 'cuz the behavior is not normal, obviously, so the solution may need to match.</p><p> </p><p>If the school has a dress-code policy (which I'll bet it does), you can take the power struggle and shift the authority over to that written policy. Post it on the wall at home where she can see it. Highlight it. Enlarge it. Have her read it and sign it. And then any time there is any argument over her wardrobe selection, simply point to the policy. If she still persists, maybe call the school and talk to whomever is responsible for enforcing the policy and let them know what you are dealing with. Perhaps they can have a conference with her and remind her of the consequences for violating the policy.</p><p> </p><p>Our middle school will call home for parents to bring a more appropriate outfit for the student to wear. The student can earn a suspension if they don't cooperate. And a suspension would have its own consequences.</p><p> </p><p>But before things get so drastic, maybe just helping her out with a backup shirt/skirt/whatever of the same item will solve the problem of her impatience with waiting for things to get washed.</p><p> </p><p>Another idea is to have her help more with the laundry. If there's something she wants to wear and it's really dirty, teach her to run a load of wash so that she can take control of the situation herself. If she's not thinking ahead to the next day, help her put together a checklist for what to do the day before and see if you can work on getting her to follow that. It won't happen over night. But choosing the outfit would be part of that checklist, and if it's not remotely clean, addressing that problem would be a task for that day before.</p><p> </p><p>Just some thoughts... good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 300114, member: 3444"] It sounds like she has some "favorite" clothing items, since she is seeking them out in the dirty laundry. Have you considered perhaps buying more than one of the same shirt/pants/etc. that she likes so that there is a backup when one is dirty? I know that sounds a little ridiculous, but sometimes we have to come up with a creative solution that is a little outside the bounds of what we consider "normal" -- 'cuz the behavior is not normal, obviously, so the solution may need to match. If the school has a dress-code policy (which I'll bet it does), you can take the power struggle and shift the authority over to that written policy. Post it on the wall at home where she can see it. Highlight it. Enlarge it. Have her read it and sign it. And then any time there is any argument over her wardrobe selection, simply point to the policy. If she still persists, maybe call the school and talk to whomever is responsible for enforcing the policy and let them know what you are dealing with. Perhaps they can have a conference with her and remind her of the consequences for violating the policy. Our middle school will call home for parents to bring a more appropriate outfit for the student to wear. The student can earn a suspension if they don't cooperate. And a suspension would have its own consequences. But before things get so drastic, maybe just helping her out with a backup shirt/skirt/whatever of the same item will solve the problem of her impatience with waiting for things to get washed. Another idea is to have her help more with the laundry. If there's something she wants to wear and it's really dirty, teach her to run a load of wash so that she can take control of the situation herself. If she's not thinking ahead to the next day, help her put together a checklist for what to do the day before and see if you can work on getting her to follow that. It won't happen over night. But choosing the outfit would be part of that checklist, and if it's not remotely clean, addressing that problem would be a task for that day before. Just some thoughts... good luck! [/QUOTE]
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