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Need adoption advice for child with ODD
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 469129" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Yes, poor little man...</p><p>You are facing a heart-breaking decision. You also have to consider the needs of many other people, not just this little boy. It has been said that you should not feel guilty... this is right but... you will feel guilty. That's just what arises and you really can't stop that feeling. You can't shut down on yourself and say "No! Don't feel that!" It is normal and natural to feel guilty, that is what I think. But that does not mean that you are doing something bad or wrong if you decide you cannot adopt this little boy with so many special needs and such a difficult past. </p><p>I would say the same as buddy - my mind would say no, my heart would say yes... You could possibly turn this child's life around but I think the balance of probabilities is that you won't. Too much damage has been done to him too early. It is also hard to sanction splitting up the children and taking his sister away from him. You really have to consider what is best for the children, all the children.... Is there any possibility they could be fostered/adopted by people who are really geared up to and suited to dealing with this special needs child and who don't have other children. I agree strongly that if there was a way for you to stay in touch with him/them, that should be encouraged. This will of course be another loss for him. </p><p>What do you do? So much heartache in this situation. Thank you for coming here and being so honest with your posting and your dilemma. My heartfelt wishes go out to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 469129, member: 11227"] Yes, poor little man... You are facing a heart-breaking decision. You also have to consider the needs of many other people, not just this little boy. It has been said that you should not feel guilty... this is right but... you will feel guilty. That's just what arises and you really can't stop that feeling. You can't shut down on yourself and say "No! Don't feel that!" It is normal and natural to feel guilty, that is what I think. But that does not mean that you are doing something bad or wrong if you decide you cannot adopt this little boy with so many special needs and such a difficult past. I would say the same as buddy - my mind would say no, my heart would say yes... You could possibly turn this child's life around but I think the balance of probabilities is that you won't. Too much damage has been done to him too early. It is also hard to sanction splitting up the children and taking his sister away from him. You really have to consider what is best for the children, all the children.... Is there any possibility they could be fostered/adopted by people who are really geared up to and suited to dealing with this special needs child and who don't have other children. I agree strongly that if there was a way for you to stay in touch with him/them, that should be encouraged. This will of course be another loss for him. What do you do? So much heartache in this situation. Thank you for coming here and being so honest with your posting and your dilemma. My heartfelt wishes go out to you. [/QUOTE]
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Need adoption advice for child with ODD
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