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General Parenting
Need adoption advice for child with ODD
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 469252" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>DDD, great post, although we did adopt Sonic from foster care and he seemed on the verge of being a major difficult child (he really isn't...he is just on the autism spectrum, but has not behavioral issues anymore). We are glad we adopted him!</p><p></p><p> HOWEVER...back to the child we adopted and had to give up for everyone's sake (his included). </p><p>When we called the state we adopted him from and talked to the social worker who had introduced us and facilitated the adoption, we told her what had happened. Do you know what she said?</p><p></p><p>"Oh!"</p><p>That was it. Not even sympathy. </p><p></p><p>Until our legal ties to R. were severed in court, we had to pay child support to the state on top of trying to keep the other kids, and ourselves, in counseling. CPS covered some of our costs, thankfully. They were very sympathetic and told us a child like him can not function in a family setting and should not have been placed with us. Of course, nobody really knew he was "a child like this." At any rate, it cost us a lot of money. No matter what is put into the adoption agreement, there is no guarantee they will honor it. </p><p></p><p>It is sad that they keep difficult child's siblings from having families because of their brother's/sister's issues. I knew a few families who wanted to adopt half of a sibling pair and were denied the chance. It was a loss/loss all the way around...hopefully another family, without other kids, will want to adopt the two of them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 469252, member: 1550"] DDD, great post, although we did adopt Sonic from foster care and he seemed on the verge of being a major difficult child (he really isn't...he is just on the autism spectrum, but has not behavioral issues anymore). We are glad we adopted him! HOWEVER...back to the child we adopted and had to give up for everyone's sake (his included). When we called the state we adopted him from and talked to the social worker who had introduced us and facilitated the adoption, we told her what had happened. Do you know what she said? "Oh!" That was it. Not even sympathy. Until our legal ties to R. were severed in court, we had to pay child support to the state on top of trying to keep the other kids, and ourselves, in counseling. CPS covered some of our costs, thankfully. They were very sympathetic and told us a child like him can not function in a family setting and should not have been placed with us. Of course, nobody really knew he was "a child like this." At any rate, it cost us a lot of money. No matter what is put into the adoption agreement, there is no guarantee they will honor it. It is sad that they keep difficult child's siblings from having families because of their brother's/sister's issues. I knew a few families who wanted to adopt half of a sibling pair and were denied the chance. It was a loss/loss all the way around...hopefully another family, without other kids, will want to adopt the two of them. [/QUOTE]
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