Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Need advice about J's school
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="smallworld" data-source="post: 223810" data-attributes="member: 2423"><p>Thank you all for your thoughts. I truly appreciate your sharing your experiences with me.</p><p> </p><p>Fran, I always value your words of wisdom. I know that J feels out-of-place in his program -- finding it hard to fit in there, but definitely difficult to make inroads in the mainstream community.</p><p> </p><p>klmno, we have told the program staff that they are only going to be able to break through his silence with frequent concerted efforts at relationship building. An attempt here or there isn't going to do it. Time will tell if they take this advice seriously. </p><p> </p><p>J's psychiatrist is watching for depression closely. He saw J tonight and doesn't want us to make any medication changes over the winter break.</p><p> </p><p>Susie, the state of Maryland doesn't accept online coursework to earn a high school diploma. I'm quite sure J doesn't have the motivation to follow through with this option anyway. And we'd probably kill each other with so much together time.</p><p> </p><p>crazymama, thanks for all the info on Wellbutrin. We're keeping our medication options open at this point. I think J's psychiatrist wants to see how he does over winter break before he makes a decision. </p><p> </p><p>jal, yikes about your aunt! I'll be sure to keep that in mind.</p><p> </p><p>pepperidge, we've tried stimulants off and on for years. When J was in day treatment a year ago, his attending psychiatrist recommended that we not use stimulants any longer. So we just haven't gone back there. </p><p> </p><p>The high school starts at 7:25 am. If he were at his home HS, we could consider a modified schedule. But his HS is a 30-minute drive away, and he's on a bus that picks him up at our door. Logistically, I couldn't drive him and get the girls to their schools on time. And Maryland doesn't accept online courses for credit, unfortunately.</p><p> </p><p>I think I agree with your psychiatrist -- at some point, we need to detatch and let these kids make their own way in the world, as hard as it is for us warrior moms to accept. But I'm still hoping to stumble on something to make his way a little easier.</p><p> </p><p>jen, thanks for your support.</p><p> </p><p>toto, the one thing I've learned is that there's no such thing as a perfect school. But we all keep trying to find that best possible fit.</p><p> </p><p>Sheila, J either won't answer our questions about school or changes the subject. It's maddening. I do know that he has never in his entire life liked school, but his happiest days were in 4th and 5th grades when he had a nice circle of friends with whom he socialized on a regular basis. I think those social connections at that time helped him become engaged in school more than anything else. The worsening of his mood disorder made it difficult for him to keep up with those friends. </p><p> </p><p>Steely, thanks for all your ideas. We've tried most of them to no avail. I agree that the social aspect is something we really need to pour our efforts into.</p><p> </p><p>Sue, I agree with you -- if we wait for maturity to set in, high school will be long over. J has not yet focused on his goals beyond HS. Cognitively, he's college material, but if he can't be invested in academics at any point soon, I'm surely not going to waste money on sending him to college right away. He has expressed some interest in doing community service this summer -- Habitat for Humanity kind of stuff -- which I'm in the process of exploring. I think engaging in some good old-fashioned manual labor may do him some good in more ways than one.</p><p> </p><p>For the time being, our psychiatrist agrees with you about the medications. J <em>is</em> doing well at home -- so much better than when he entered day treatment a year ago -- that we certainly don't want to upset the apple cart.</p><p> </p><p>jannie, J felt very flat while taking Zonegran, which is why we d/c'ed it. J told his psychiatrist tonight that he feels better off Zonegran -- he's experiencing highs and lows (but not too much in either direction), and he likes the way that feels. His psychiatrist suspects that J disliked school before, but now off Zonegran he's feeling (and expressing) his dislike more deeply.</p><p> </p><p>His IEP allows word processing for written classwork. He refuses to work with a tutor (we've tried many times). He hasn't developed much of a relationship with any of his teachers, but I may email a few of them to see if they can invite J to participate in an extracurricular activity. He still gets together with one friend from our neighborhood -- he's lost touch with his other friends -- but they probably only see each other once a month or so.</p><p> </p><p>Heather, anxiety is definitely part of J's makeup. And we certainly have noticed that when he's anxous, oppositional behavior surfaces. That certainly could be playing a role now.</p><p> </p><p>gcvmom, J used to have a fairly social personality, which is what concerns us about how he's behaving now. We do think if he could just make one friend at his new school, he would actually look forward to going to school every day. That would be a huge improvement over what's happening now.</p><p> </p><p>Thanks again, everyone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="smallworld, post: 223810, member: 2423"] Thank you all for your thoughts. I truly appreciate your sharing your experiences with me. Fran, I always value your words of wisdom. I know that J feels out-of-place in his program -- finding it hard to fit in there, but definitely difficult to make inroads in the mainstream community. klmno, we have told the program staff that they are only going to be able to break through his silence with frequent concerted efforts at relationship building. An attempt here or there isn't going to do it. Time will tell if they take this advice seriously. J's psychiatrist is watching for depression closely. He saw J tonight and doesn't want us to make any medication changes over the winter break. Susie, the state of Maryland doesn't accept online coursework to earn a high school diploma. I'm quite sure J doesn't have the motivation to follow through with this option anyway. And we'd probably kill each other with so much together time. crazymama, thanks for all the info on Wellbutrin. We're keeping our medication options open at this point. I think J's psychiatrist wants to see how he does over winter break before he makes a decision. jal, yikes about your aunt! I'll be sure to keep that in mind. pepperidge, we've tried stimulants off and on for years. When J was in day treatment a year ago, his attending psychiatrist recommended that we not use stimulants any longer. So we just haven't gone back there. The high school starts at 7:25 am. If he were at his home HS, we could consider a modified schedule. But his HS is a 30-minute drive away, and he's on a bus that picks him up at our door. Logistically, I couldn't drive him and get the girls to their schools on time. And Maryland doesn't accept online courses for credit, unfortunately. I think I agree with your psychiatrist -- at some point, we need to detatch and let these kids make their own way in the world, as hard as it is for us warrior moms to accept. But I'm still hoping to stumble on something to make his way a little easier. jen, thanks for your support. toto, the one thing I've learned is that there's no such thing as a perfect school. But we all keep trying to find that best possible fit. Sheila, J either won't answer our questions about school or changes the subject. It's maddening. I do know that he has never in his entire life liked school, but his happiest days were in 4th and 5th grades when he had a nice circle of friends with whom he socialized on a regular basis. I think those social connections at that time helped him become engaged in school more than anything else. The worsening of his mood disorder made it difficult for him to keep up with those friends. Steely, thanks for all your ideas. We've tried most of them to no avail. I agree that the social aspect is something we really need to pour our efforts into. Sue, I agree with you -- if we wait for maturity to set in, high school will be long over. J has not yet focused on his goals beyond HS. Cognitively, he's college material, but if he can't be invested in academics at any point soon, I'm surely not going to waste money on sending him to college right away. He has expressed some interest in doing community service this summer -- Habitat for Humanity kind of stuff -- which I'm in the process of exploring. I think engaging in some good old-fashioned manual labor may do him some good in more ways than one. For the time being, our psychiatrist agrees with you about the medications. J [I]is[/I] doing well at home -- so much better than when he entered day treatment a year ago -- that we certainly don't want to upset the apple cart. jannie, J felt very flat while taking Zonegran, which is why we d/c'ed it. J told his psychiatrist tonight that he feels better off Zonegran -- he's experiencing highs and lows (but not too much in either direction), and he likes the way that feels. His psychiatrist suspects that J disliked school before, but now off Zonegran he's feeling (and expressing) his dislike more deeply. His IEP allows word processing for written classwork. He refuses to work with a tutor (we've tried many times). He hasn't developed much of a relationship with any of his teachers, but I may email a few of them to see if they can invite J to participate in an extracurricular activity. He still gets together with one friend from our neighborhood -- he's lost touch with his other friends -- but they probably only see each other once a month or so. Heather, anxiety is definitely part of J's makeup. And we certainly have noticed that when he's anxous, oppositional behavior surfaces. That certainly could be playing a role now. gcvmom, J used to have a fairly social personality, which is what concerns us about how he's behaving now. We do think if he could just make one friend at his new school, he would actually look forward to going to school every day. That would be a huge improvement over what's happening now. Thanks again, everyone. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Need advice about J's school
Top