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Need advice about kicking 18 year old out of our house, Help!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 459071" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Therapy is a lot like using drugs. If you are NOT, as a client, willing to change or interested in changing it is just a waste of money. Also, he may be doing more drugs than just weed (how did he get "legal" weed? For what purpose?). I thought that was for cancer and glaucoma and sure hope they don't use the medicinal part to allow our kids to legally smoke dope.</p><p></p><p>My daughter was a big drug abuser. We put her out at 18 and she turned around fast. Not saying it would happen to your son, but SHE had to decide to stop her behavior. Everything we did for her before that was a waste of time and money and it turned out she was abusing more than just pot. According to her, many kids will cop to pot, but hide the fact that many are using more drugs than just pot. She has also told me, now that she is clean, that drug users are the biggest liars in the world (as she was when she used) and that you can't believe anything they say and that if you use, you sell. Period. But many parents don't know this.</p><p></p><p>I have to say I made her leave even though she had never stolen large amounts of money from us...a twenty here and there is about it...nothing to brag about in a child, but not hundreds or thousands of dollars. Now that she is completely clean (even dumped the cigarettes), she is almost finished with college at age 27 (she got scholarships and loans and did not get much help from us), she has a good job with that college which will turn into full time when she graduates, she has a non-drug using boyfriend of eight years and they bought a house together with no help from us. She thinks that if we hadn't made her leave, none of the good stuff would have happened to her because it would have been easy for her to stay the same. I don't know if this is true, or if this is the answer for your son, but I am passing along what my daughter has told me. </p><p></p><p>When daughter still lived a home, due to her untrustworthy behavior, the rules were stricter for her than for my other older kids who had not gotten into trouble. I didn't care if she didn't like it. Also, I did turn her in when I found her with pot and if she had stolen a credit card I would have done it again. I suggest going to an Al-Anon or Narc-Anon meeting. I think you will find it interesting. They will be a real time support system and help you with Tough Love, which works a lot better for anyone than enabling.</p><p></p><p>Keep us posted.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 459071, member: 1550"] Therapy is a lot like using drugs. If you are NOT, as a client, willing to change or interested in changing it is just a waste of money. Also, he may be doing more drugs than just weed (how did he get "legal" weed? For what purpose?). I thought that was for cancer and glaucoma and sure hope they don't use the medicinal part to allow our kids to legally smoke dope. My daughter was a big drug abuser. We put her out at 18 and she turned around fast. Not saying it would happen to your son, but SHE had to decide to stop her behavior. Everything we did for her before that was a waste of time and money and it turned out she was abusing more than just pot. According to her, many kids will cop to pot, but hide the fact that many are using more drugs than just pot. She has also told me, now that she is clean, that drug users are the biggest liars in the world (as she was when she used) and that you can't believe anything they say and that if you use, you sell. Period. But many parents don't know this. I have to say I made her leave even though she had never stolen large amounts of money from us...a twenty here and there is about it...nothing to brag about in a child, but not hundreds or thousands of dollars. Now that she is completely clean (even dumped the cigarettes), she is almost finished with college at age 27 (she got scholarships and loans and did not get much help from us), she has a good job with that college which will turn into full time when she graduates, she has a non-drug using boyfriend of eight years and they bought a house together with no help from us. She thinks that if we hadn't made her leave, none of the good stuff would have happened to her because it would have been easy for her to stay the same. I don't know if this is true, or if this is the answer for your son, but I am passing along what my daughter has told me. When daughter still lived a home, due to her untrustworthy behavior, the rules were stricter for her than for my other older kids who had not gotten into trouble. I didn't care if she didn't like it. Also, I did turn her in when I found her with pot and if she had stolen a credit card I would have done it again. I suggest going to an Al-Anon or Narc-Anon meeting. I think you will find it interesting. They will be a real time support system and help you with Tough Love, which works a lot better for anyone than enabling. Keep us posted. [/QUOTE]
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