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Need advice about kicking 18 year old out of our house, Help!
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<blockquote data-quote="pinevalley" data-source="post: 459695" data-attributes="member: 3710"><p>Star: Thank you for all your suggestions about my son. I have never heard of asking for a Shadow for my difficult child. This sounds like a great idea, but I am going to make sure that they offer this as part of an IEP in Illinois. The school told my difficult child that they have scheduled a meeting early on Monday morning, and they didn't even notify my husband or I about this meeting. My difficult child told me that the school is not obligated to notify the parents now that he is 18. My difficult child is in a reintegration program, where he attends his regular HS in the mornings, and then they drive him to the alternative school in the afternoons. They are slowly doing this for the entire semester, and then if everything is OK they will let difficult child attend the regular hs full time next semester. They have scheduled this meeting to decide if they should continue with the reintegration to the regular HS, since difficult child was suspended for 3 days last week. I am positive that they don't want my son in the regular HS, and they will tell him that in the meeting on Monday. I am going to attend the meeting with my son, and I really want to request that they should continue with the reintegration, so that difficult child has a chance to return to the regular HS. My son really wants to be out of the alternative hs, and attend the regular HS with his friends, since he is a senior and only has a few months of school left. I know that difficult child should not brought the legal weed to school in his backpack next week, but I think that they just want to punish my son by stopping any reintegration to the regular HS. It is probably easier for all of the staff if he is NOT at a much larger regular high school, and they do not want to give him any second chances to reintegrate. I am going to advocate for my son, because he really wants to attend the regular HS. He has already been punished by being suspended for 3 days for bringing the legal weed to school, and I think that the administrators are totally out of line to take away any chance of attending the regular hs just for this offense. </p><p> </p><p>Our difficult child was truant for one day (on Tuesday), and late that day we told him that if he could not follow our rules at home then he could not live in our house. He ended up staying with his girlfriend and her family for 3 days, and he returned home late on Friday night. He told us that he felt terrible when he was not living at home, and he made all sorts of promises to follow the rules from now on. My husband and I do not expect any drastic change in our difficult child, but we hope that he was scared a little when we told him that he could not live at home. I agree with you that my main priority for my son right now is for him to graduate from HS. We just don't want him to be high every day, and I can't live with him if he is going to steal my credit cards any time he can. We all have an appointment with a psychologist on Monday, and I think it helps to talk this over with a neutral third party. My difficult child really respects this therapist, and he is not able to manipulate the therapist by saying things that are not true. The therapist tells difficult child all the time that he needs to have a part time job, because he has too much time on his hands. Now we are not letting difficult child drive our car until he at least fills out job applications every week. I think that this will be a big help if difficult child can get a job, because he has too much time on his hands to hang around with his friends and get high. None of the kids in his group have jobs, and they all seem to have money all the time, which is another problem. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, thanks for your suggestions for our difficult child. Please send some good thoughts that the school meeting on Monday goes well, and that difficult child will be able to reintegrate to the larger HS.</p><p></p><p>Pinevalley</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pinevalley, post: 459695, member: 3710"] Star: Thank you for all your suggestions about my son. I have never heard of asking for a Shadow for my difficult child. This sounds like a great idea, but I am going to make sure that they offer this as part of an IEP in Illinois. The school told my difficult child that they have scheduled a meeting early on Monday morning, and they didn't even notify my husband or I about this meeting. My difficult child told me that the school is not obligated to notify the parents now that he is 18. My difficult child is in a reintegration program, where he attends his regular HS in the mornings, and then they drive him to the alternative school in the afternoons. They are slowly doing this for the entire semester, and then if everything is OK they will let difficult child attend the regular hs full time next semester. They have scheduled this meeting to decide if they should continue with the reintegration to the regular HS, since difficult child was suspended for 3 days last week. I am positive that they don't want my son in the regular HS, and they will tell him that in the meeting on Monday. I am going to attend the meeting with my son, and I really want to request that they should continue with the reintegration, so that difficult child has a chance to return to the regular HS. My son really wants to be out of the alternative hs, and attend the regular HS with his friends, since he is a senior and only has a few months of school left. I know that difficult child should not brought the legal weed to school in his backpack next week, but I think that they just want to punish my son by stopping any reintegration to the regular HS. It is probably easier for all of the staff if he is NOT at a much larger regular high school, and they do not want to give him any second chances to reintegrate. I am going to advocate for my son, because he really wants to attend the regular HS. He has already been punished by being suspended for 3 days for bringing the legal weed to school, and I think that the administrators are totally out of line to take away any chance of attending the regular hs just for this offense. Our difficult child was truant for one day (on Tuesday), and late that day we told him that if he could not follow our rules at home then he could not live in our house. He ended up staying with his girlfriend and her family for 3 days, and he returned home late on Friday night. He told us that he felt terrible when he was not living at home, and he made all sorts of promises to follow the rules from now on. My husband and I do not expect any drastic change in our difficult child, but we hope that he was scared a little when we told him that he could not live at home. I agree with you that my main priority for my son right now is for him to graduate from HS. We just don't want him to be high every day, and I can't live with him if he is going to steal my credit cards any time he can. We all have an appointment with a psychologist on Monday, and I think it helps to talk this over with a neutral third party. My difficult child really respects this therapist, and he is not able to manipulate the therapist by saying things that are not true. The therapist tells difficult child all the time that he needs to have a part time job, because he has too much time on his hands. Now we are not letting difficult child drive our car until he at least fills out job applications every week. I think that this will be a big help if difficult child can get a job, because he has too much time on his hands to hang around with his friends and get high. None of the kids in his group have jobs, and they all seem to have money all the time, which is another problem. Anyway, thanks for your suggestions for our difficult child. Please send some good thoughts that the school meeting on Monday goes well, and that difficult child will be able to reintegrate to the larger HS. Pinevalley [/QUOTE]
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