need advice.......again!!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by standswithcourage, Jun 12, 2008.

  1. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Well I need advice. My easy child had two video game systems - XBox 360 and the Wii systems. Well my difficult child had his friends in here at different times and they took his systems. One at a time - I believe they took them for payback for drugs - anyway - the dilemma is my easy child son wants them back - he thinks he knows who took them - so - should I buy the system for him - he plays it way too much - sometimes he sits here all day and plays the games with his friends - I cant stand it - I feel bad for him that they were stolen - we called the police and had it reported and today I am going to a teenagers house that I believe knows what happened to the Wii system and offer up some money, which is all they want, for the whereabouts of it. He is so mad about it because he worked for those systems himself. However I dont want to enable bad habits just like I dont want to enable drug habits for my difficult child - is that what I am doing if I buy the system back for him?
     
  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Wow. What a tough position. I gotta think on this one. On the one hand, you hate for difficult child's to affect easy child's lives more than they have to, on the other, its life, and mom can't always rescue...

    I'm thinking....
     
  3. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Buy him the Wii Fit game pad.......then tell him he must play this at least 30 minutes a day before anything else gets played. This could help with his exercise program. Hope you find the system without buying it at full price..... Yep, having difficult children is sometimes costly......
     
  4. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Thanks - Shari - I am waiting on you to think! Also thanks Why Me Mom? good idea.
     
  5. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I guess I'd probably help him buy one system back and also help him establish a way to safegaurd his system this time. I think a wii would fit into a small fire safe box with a combination, so it could be locked up with not in use.
    Its so unfair to pcs to have to live like this, but its also a fact of their lives, too. If brother remains a difficult child, its a reality easy child will have to face and prepare for for the rest of his life. So yeah, I'd get him a system back, and devise a way of safegaurding it. If it gets left out and stolen again, I'd say he's on his own from there.
    I just read WMM's post - the wii fit is a GREAT idea.
     
  6. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    in my humble opinion, difficult child should buy easy child both game systems. His debt.
     
  7. So Tired

    So Tired Member

    Depends on if you can afford it. difficult child took my easy child's razor scooter and left it at a friends house. I took easy child straight to Toys r us to pick out another and told difficult child he would have to pay for it. difficult child got on phone right away to get scooter back! Now easy child has two - but i don't care. easy child has had to suffer so much with her older brother's ****, she deserves to be able to ride her scooter on a nice summer day, and it was not a financial hardship for me. Now she has an extra if a friend is over.

    I would try to get it for easy child. Add cost to what difficult child owes you. Mine has run up quite a tab!
     
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Stands

    I'm a mean Mom. (Just ask my kids) lol

    If you can find a way, I'd get easy child his system back. Not his fault they were stolen. And if you did file a police report your house insurance will pay to replace the stolen game systems.

    Then I wouldn't let difficult child or his friends anywhere near the new system. Period. There is no reason easy child should be made to suffer for difficult child's poor choices.

    Hugs
     
  9. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member

    Just a thought here.....

    I would get the system back for easy child and then for difficult children birthday, or Christmas, explain to him that the money you would have used for his gift was used to retrieve easy child's game system. That may be the only way you will recoop your loss.

    On a side note, my difficult child used to play his games incessently, with his dad and his friends, and eventually moved on to other things. You have to handle that the way you think is best as no situation is the same.

    Good Luck.

    Hugs
     
  10. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    If difficult child is still awaiting that paycheck, it should probably be used to buy easy child his stuff back. And I do like the Wii Fit idea. He would probably like that much better than a gym and trainer.
     
  11. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Done! I gave easy child money from difficult child's paycheck. difficult child said at one time he would give easy child $100. so he did! I will give him the difference for the system. My easy child is going to take care of his sisters dogs and get $100. for that - also we did get a fire safe thing for all our important stuff - guns for hunting, etc. Maybe we are making progress. My easy child has been nothing but good about everything - mad but good - I just cant believe sometimes that all this has happened. My daughter rarely talks about it at all. It is as if she has erased it from her mind. Thanks for the input.
     
  12. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    You are going to change the locks, now and not let difficult child or his friends in, right? The games had to be worth more than $100., right? difficult child should pay for the entire thing, period.
     
  13. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Yes my difficult child is in jail! He cant get in - oh yes - the games were worth a l Occupational Therapist (OT) - this is the second system he had stolen - our fault for not locking the back door - had a repair man coming to look at the dishwasher - my difficult child has not been home in a month -
     
  14. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Whether he's been home or not, he's responsible. If he hadn't told his friends about his brother's things, the odds are nothing would have been stolen. Either way, your eldest needs to be held responsible for the damage done to his little brother. If it means the entire paycheck is history, oh well.

    by the way -- For the overuse of the games, maybe you could put a time limit on usage, say 4 hours a day? I know that sounds like a lot but for today's kids it seems like a fair amount given how long a game can last.
     
  15. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I can heartily recommend the Wii system, especially Wii Sports & Wii Fit. I would replace the Wii at least but make sure he USES Wii Fit daily (or as close to it as he can). It keeps a record of usage and progress.

    I understand about the gaming obsessions, but you can set time limits. Also with the Wii system, a lot of the games involve other people plus physical activity. We've even had mother in law up doing bowling with us. I've heard of cases where they're taking the Wii system into old folk's homes and getting them up and involved.

    I'd also put the word out on the street to LEAVE easy child AND easy child'S STUFF ALONE.

    We had thefts of game stuff, I went round and spread the word that I was on the rampage about it; when the thefts involve innocent parties, I won't stand for it.

    I would also be looking to take it out of difficult child's hide. I wonder if he showed his 'friends' the stuff to let them know about it so they could pinch it and take the heat off him.

    Junkies have no conscience when it comes to family's possessions - they generally consider it collateral.

    Marg
     
  16. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Well I gave easy child son part of difficult children paycheck. I told him to keep it in the safe and we would replace one of the systems. I will tell difficult child that I did that. If for some reason difficult child should need his paycheck I can replace it but right now I am not - the only way I would would be if he chose treatment.
     
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