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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 618851" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Seekingstrength, welcome. I am sorry you had to go looking for us, but I am very glad you found us.</p><p></p><p>You've been given excellent advice which I can't add too much to. If you've read through our posts here you are already aware of all of the similarities in our adult kids. This detachment road is a difficult one which often requires a great deal of support because we have to make a complete turnaround in our thinking. </p><p></p><p>I would encourage you to read the article at the bottom of my post here, it is on detachment and it is helpful for us. </p><p></p><p>Your son sounds as if he has some issues, mental illness perhaps? If that is the case, you can find great support at NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, they have terrific courses for parents. You can access them online if that feels like something you may need.</p><p></p><p>This time in your lives is YOUR time. Be selfish about it. Don't allow your son to steal your inner peace. I have a note on my desk at work which says, "inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions." Don't permit your son to start messing up your lives..............set strict boundaries around the behaviors you do not want and demand an apology for his disrespectful actions. Do not accept bad behavior because you will end up living with it.</p><p></p><p>Take care of you and husband, remember to put your focus on you two, not your son.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you're here. Keep posting, it helps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 618851, member: 13542"] Seekingstrength, welcome. I am sorry you had to go looking for us, but I am very glad you found us. You've been given excellent advice which I can't add too much to. If you've read through our posts here you are already aware of all of the similarities in our adult kids. This detachment road is a difficult one which often requires a great deal of support because we have to make a complete turnaround in our thinking. I would encourage you to read the article at the bottom of my post here, it is on detachment and it is helpful for us. Your son sounds as if he has some issues, mental illness perhaps? If that is the case, you can find great support at NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, they have terrific courses for parents. You can access them online if that feels like something you may need. This time in your lives is YOUR time. Be selfish about it. Don't allow your son to steal your inner peace. I have a note on my desk at work which says, "inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions." Don't permit your son to start messing up your lives..............set strict boundaries around the behaviors you do not want and demand an apology for his disrespectful actions. Do not accept bad behavior because you will end up living with it. Take care of you and husband, remember to put your focus on you two, not your son. I'm glad you're here. Keep posting, it helps. [/QUOTE]
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